Deon Barnard

I have been particularly bewildered by the nonsensical use of certain linguistic conventions on my Facebook wall recently. In layman’s terms, I can’t believe the illogical bullshit people speak! I’ll simply launch into a couple of classic examples of said fallacial weirdness.

Sample post: We have no reason to believe in a personal loving God. All the evidence suggests better and simpler natural causes for phenomena, like the way that evolution via natural selection explains species.

Crazy response 1: Evolution is just a theory! What a load of crap. We all come from monkeys? You’d have to be stupid to believe that.

Let’s look at this stunningly ignorant and smug response that ironically demonstrates just how close this person is to a monkey (his words)! Firstly evolution is not a theory at all in the way that this visitor is implying. Neither is Pythagoras’s theory a theory. Neither is germ theory a theory. For all intents and purposes these are practical facts. We may not know everything about these facts but they are undeniable and provable in a variety of ways and they all allow us the benefit of prediction. In scientific terms Evolution is as much a fact as electricity. When I flick the switch on my wall I understand (although only roughly) that it is electricity moving through a really thin wire that creates energy and therefore light. I don’t for one minute believe that God makes the bulb glow every time I flick the switch. God is the theory here (a really poor one) and electricity is the fact. Has this person ever read anything other than the Bible or Mills and Boon??

Secondly, highlighting his ignorance he demonstrates that he has no idea how evolution and common ancestry works. Who said we come from Monkeys? Modern monkeys and modern humans have a common ancestor somewhere in history. For that matter modern man and seaweed has a common ancestor too. But then again how can I expect people to know any better in a system of educational and ecclesiastical indoctrination such as the one most of us live in in the English colonies.

Finally, I don’t BELIEVE in Evolution at all in the way this gentlemen uses the word belief. I see the facts and come to a logical conclusion. This is not a faith position. So yes, I’d have to be stupid to ‘believe’ it – I’ll settle for simply thinking it through.

Crazy response 2: So where did everything come from then. Huh! Huh! You think you’re so smart. Can you create a rose???? Can you!!!?

I see men in white coats dragging this girl across a neat green lawn to a small white truck… Who the hell knows where everything came from? Science has some interesting and logically reasonable ideas based on available evidence. What does she have? An ancient myth that she accepted without half a peanut of evidence to support it. I go cold at the darkness of the human condition, if this is what it looks like.

Can I create a rose?? Uh… no. Nor can I create a watch or a car or a pencil – and your point is? Is she trying (nauseatingly) to infer that a rose is too complicated or beautiful to have come into existence by accident? She obviously doesn’t understand natural selection (or sexual selection) and its role in the evolution of species over millions of years. I’d suggest reading a book on the topic, but that might lead to her having to question her beliefs (gasp), so I won’t hold my breath.

Crazy response 3: Why do you have to hammer away at religion? What’s your problem? Why can’t we just all get along instead of forcing people to believe what you believe?

Ah, my all time favourite! The – ignore the proposition entirely and change the subject to something that will make everyone see what an evil monster bully this guy is – tactic. Is this a joke? I can say with full confidence that I have never ever gone onto a Christian’s Facebook wall and responded to a post like “Jesus is so cool, and his might and grace and everlasting love doth reign in mine heart like an oak planted beside still waters and lo! I behold his glory… (You get the point)… and then posted a response like, “you Christians are all backwards and stupid and why can’t we all just get along without God and manipulation and… (You get the point)! Why, because firstly, it’s their wall and they can post whatever they like on their own wall. Secondly, if there is no invitation for rational debate on the particular facts or logic of their post then I respect their unspoken rules. It’s very simple folk – you stick to the rules of the wall you’re visiting. On my particular wall the rules are simple:

1. Stick to the facts of the proposition or initial statement/post. Talk about the topic I’ve put up for debate, not your personal offence at being subjected to my thoughts simply because you happen to disagree.
2. If you have the temptation to change the subject completely, then feel free to take it offline or start a new thread on your own wall, or ask me if I’m interested in discussing your thread on my wall in a separate discussion.
3. By all means disagree – in fact disagree with all your heart, but then tell me why you disagree. Present the evidence, or at the very least present a string of logic that calls my own into question. This is what makes debates interesting and how we all learn something new.
4. Refrain from emotional observations like “you seem so angry”, or “why are you so scared of religion”, or “you’re clearly a very unhappy person” etc. These observations have nothing to do with the post and quite frankly I don’t give a continental what you may or may not think of my personality or my state of happiness. Worry about your own personality and your own happiness. I’m certainly not going to come to your wall and post, “You seem like such an insane individual… have you gone for a psychiatric analysis recently? J”

Crazy response 4: Dude, there is no evidence for evolution. They never found the missing link. Carbon dating doesn’t work.

Dude. Read a book! Almost anything from Richard Dawkins should set your facts straight. PS: Dawkins is an elderly gentle British biologist chap who has dedicated his life to researching and explaining the evidence, the links and the facts about evolution. A little research will also help you understand that although Carbon 14 dating is only accurate to about 5000 years, using Uranium-Lead and other dating techniques we can accurately date the earth at about 4.5 billion years old. I say it again; Evolution is as much a practical fact as the theory that stretching before playing football is a good idea.

The examples above are just a few of the many bewildering types of ‘argument’ that are regularly posted on my wall. I understand that many of us didn’t take Science even into the tenth grade, and certainly not as a college or university subject. Neither did I. I also understand that many of us go to church every week where we are preached a version of how the universe works as though it were scientific fact, by preachers who haven’t the faintest idea what the facts are except what they interpret from ancient scriptures that were written millennia before the facts were discovered. I can understand this too because I was just such a preacher. But for God’s sake people (figuratively speaking), we live in the year 2010! Are we seriously going to base our entire understanding of the universe on the facts presented by one book or one preacher or our parents?

I know that logic is not everything! I certainly have no visions of a Vulcan utopia on earth, but almost everyone uses logic and reason to live their daily lives at work and home. We use logic to use computers because we work more efficiently that way. We use logic to plan our holidays, job interviews and weekly schedules. We use logic to cook and all sorts of other things we may have convinced ourselves are all ‘creativity and imagination’. Without logic it is almost impossible to have a mutually enjoyable or beneficial conversation. I love imagination. I love creativity. I also understand the importance of logic, and when it comes to God and church and the doctrines of the church, logic tends to get set aside and replaced with dogma, defensiveness, fear and unwarranted emotional outbursts of anger.

So, next time you read a post somewhere that immediately triggers all your defensiveness and anger because at first glance it seems to be contradicting what you have been told to believe by church and holy books, stop and ask a few simple questions before responding:

1. What is the post actually saying?
2. Do I really understand the post and all the terms and ideas being put forward?
3. What do I think/believe about the facts being presented?
4. What do I agree with and what do I disagree with in this post?
5. Do I need to clarify something before I can intelligently respond to this post?
6. Do I understand the reasons why I disagree with certain facts in this post?
7. Do I just want to voice my anger, or do I have something meaningful to contribute?
8. Would I want someone to respond like I’m about to on my own wall?
9. Do I have facts / evidence / information that will benefit the conversation?

I look forward to better, calmer, more interesting and thoughtful conversations going forward.

In the spirit of reason, logic, communication and rationality, I am going to suggest a few reasons why people so often don’t make sense, and what they can do about their sense-less-ness. I refer to the way people engage in conversations, debates, critiques and other interactions with people where they’re trying to say something, but in fact say something else – or even worse, are trying to say something that really has nothing to do with the topic or context of the conversation.

There are several root causes for the dreaded disease of sense-less-ness:

• People don’t listen. Many people have the insanely annoying habit of listening only for gaps in the conversation so that they can continue to spew forth their out-of-context agenda at any cost. These people have no idea what anyone is talking about because they’re not engaged for the purpose of discovery or learning anything, but rather to give… and give… generously from their never-depleting resource of knowledge and oracle-like opinions. There are others in this category who simply don’t have time to both listen AND speak, so they err on the side of speaking. And then there are others still who can’t listen to you if they don’t like you – so the more offended they get, the less they hear anything you may have to say. You will never make sense until you learn to listen.
• People don’t understand or care about the rules of rational argument. This is my personal favorite! I can still handle someone who may not understand that they have broken three rules of logic in one sentence because they simply don’t have a clue what logic is or how to use it, but when someone who understands logic, insists on being illogical, for manipulative and bullying effect, I tend to lose my sense of humor. The following are NOT reasonable or logical arguments:
  • “Because I say so!”
  • “It must be true because I read it in a book”
  • “I’m fond of carrots. Some cakes have carrots in them – so I love cakes”
  • “Zulus are taxi drivers”

  It’s one thing for someone to get their argument muddled up in the heat of verbal dialogue – not everyone thinks quick on their feet – but there’s no excuse for sending an illogical email or letter which you’ve had time to think through and double check with a colleague for instance. Logic takes practice, and I have a strong conviction that all children should be taught logic and rational debating skills at school in their language classes, especially because so many kids drop mathematics as a subject in grade 10.

• People are dominated by their right or left brain. Not all systematic and logical people (left brained) make sense – mainly because they often lack in the emotional and people skills department. Often discussions only make sense in the context of both feeling (right brain) and fact (left brain). For instance, an emotional wife says something like “My whole world is crashing around me!!” Her left brained husband says “Don’t talk rubbish!” Of course, from a purely logical point of view he is correct in his assessment that his wife may be overstating the case, but he’s not connecting with the emotional truth that she feels as though she’s about to be crushed by a heavy weight. Her statement makes more ‘sense’ than his in the context of what is being discussed. Equally, an entirely right brained person might take every conversation down a rabbit hole of fantasy and feeling and ignore all rules of logic. To be truly good at problem solving you need to develop both sides of your brain and also learn to be in tune with irony and sarcasm, as most people don’t usually ‘literally’ say what they mean.
• People don’t know the difference between healthy debate and emotional warfare. All points of view that can be argued or defended are merely that – points of view. There are multitudes of people who simply cannot discuss some topics without getting ‘personally offended’, as though the topic defined them, and any disagreement is perceived as an attack on their character. Here are examples of points of view that have such people lashing back with personal attacks and irrationality:
  • “I don’t think God exists”
  • “Marriage is irrelevant today”
  • “Pornography can be healthy”
  • “Women should have the right to have an abortion”
  • “There’s nothing wrong with being gay – people have the right to have sex with anyone they like”
  • “George bush was correct to invade Iraq”
  • “The bible is not God’s word. It was written by men”

  These are the sorts of topics that cause people to switch off, stop listening and shut down – and they shouldn’t be! It’s 2010 – time to grow up and stop living in the dark ages of cultural and religious censorship.

So what can one do when they discover the early symptoms of sense-less-ness in their lives? Pray… Only kidding! Read – grow your paradigms and vocabulary which are tools for rational discussion. Learn about the language of logic (Philosophy 101). Listen! Listen to hear and understand – not to respond – then your responses will make sense. Grow your general knowledge and sense of the world. Practice – engage in debates on hot topics with people you trust and feel safe with, this will help you practice the techniques of reasonable and rational debate. And finally – don’t take everything personally – have fun talking to people, even when they disagree with you… no wait – ESPECIALLY when they disagree with you!

When you write an article entitled “Why Religion should be opposed”, and you know that almost your entire audience is religious, you know that you’re going to get a few responses. I started replying to these responses individually but, realizing that many of them were similar in form, I thought it best to write a reply article dealing with each ‘type’ of response with a paragraph so that we can formalize the conversation and avoid repetition.

Yesterday I had more visitors on my site than I’ve ever had before, and almost all to the article in question. I find it amazing that you can write challenging articles about sex, love, relationships, parenting etc and no one takes personal offence, but mess with someone’s religion and all ‘hell’ breaks loose, which is exactly the nature of religion, and why I oppose it. Thank you to everyone who has read my article – you were not so closed minded that you applied the “Thou shalt not read articles written by vile heathen” philosophy. Thank you to all those who shared an opinion and responded in some way – please share your thoughts on my other articles too.

I am now going to speak to each ‘type’ of response I received. I have no doubt that I will offend people all over again with this, but fortunately I’m not one of those Methodist-don’t-rock-the-boat-keep-your-opinions-to-yourself kinds of people who care about the word ‘offend’. “You offended me!” is not an argument in itself. If you wrote to me then you will find your reply in these words somewhere.

To the people who responded without taking the trouble to actually read the article

I was tempted to just copy and paste your thoughtless text with references following every unintelligent sentence saying “see paragraph 2″ or “did you skip paragraph 4?!” but I won’t. Feel free to read the article again, actually understanding the words I carefully strung together and then feel free to write an intelligent response.

To the bible bashers

These are the people who insist on using circular logic or Circulus in Probando, arguing that the Bible says that God exists, and the Bible is always right (because it was inspired by God), so God must exist. The problem with this is that the premises are circular in nature because each premise assumes the validity of the other. I have read the bible many times end to end, not to mention an equivalent number of times via piecemeal reading of scripture as required for sermons, devotions etc. There was a time I simply ‘believed’ that it was all true because (and please don’t skip over this): I was born and brought up in a Christian society; I was scared of hell and offending God; I was convinced by everyone around me that belief was better than intellect; I had a notion (because of conditioning) that to question the Bible’s absolute truth and perfection was ‘blasphemous’ and ‘rebellious’ (manipulative words used by religion to control). Bible bashers interpret scripture as it suits them for any particular cause or going church trend. 1000 years ago the scripture about women needing to cover their heads was taken very literally, but today most Christians choose to apply some rational thought to the subject, yet these same Christians will use other scriptures very literally when it suits them to do so. This also changes from congregation to congregation and denomination to denomination – so who makes the rules? Who’s interpretational methods are correct? It stands to reason that if one of them were ‘correct’ in the eyes of God then all the others would be wrong – if not, then God and all his followers are confused and God is not perfect. Telling me that something is true because the Bible says so is a fallacial argument. Feel free however to quote a particular argument, found in the Bible, that appeals to some sense of reason or logic and I’ll consider it with as much respect as anything Einstein or Hitchens has to say. So far I have had nothing like this. C’mon Christians!! You can do better than that. I myself could put forward some valid biblical arguments – I offer an open invitation to reasonable debate.

To those who have ‘personal experiences’ with God    

These are the people who claimed they had ‘heard’ from God personally or had an ‘experience’ somehow involving God. This is probably the most difficult response to respond to. I remember (with a cold chill) the days of being an assistant pastor in a charismatic church in Benoni, times when we (the elders) would get together to discuss something, and in the middle of heated debate the senior pastor would say something like, “God told me we have to do it so let’s get started.” Well, who could argue with that? If God said it, who are we to question it? The result being that anything this particular man wanted, happened. You can’t argue with someone who has God in their corner. I could just as easily say, “I saw a unicorn at the bottom of my garden this morning – prove me wrong!” You know I am wrong because you know there are no unicorns, because if there were unicorns we’d have photos of them, and their discovery would be published in every newspaper in the world with probably a specimen in The Hague for testing and so forth. In this you use reason, so you would roll your eyes and say, “I’m sure you thought you saw a unicorn…” and pat me on the back condescendingly. So my response to you is, “I’m sure you thought you heard God – pity you don’t have any evidence (pat pat). If I were to believe all the ‘personal testimonies’ of people who claim God did something ‘good’ for them I’d also have to believe the suicide bombers of 9/11′s claims that God instructed them in their mission, or all the people who claim to have been abducted by aliens somewhere in the Midwest of the USA. You yourselves use rational thinking in all areas except this! I have, many times, wished that I could walk through my closet and end up in Narnia, but no amount of staring at the closet is going to help me understand the truth of my world. There are coats in the closet. Santa does not exist. God does not exist.

To the condescending self righteous

Ah, my favourite group! I wish there were fish like you in the water the last five times I went unsuccessfully fishing in dams and rivers around South Africa. The damn fish just stare at my bait and never bite. You however, are the most predictable and toothache inducing group of the lot. The people I refer to here are those who don’t bother showing my articles an ounce of respect by responding to the propositions put forward, but instead choose to take the: “you’re sick and in need of help from someone like me” approach. I refer to statements like, “Are you free my friend?” or “…but are you happy?” or “you are clearly speaking out of a place of hurt…” Spare me your noxious, patronizing, dripping, putrid self righteousness and amateur psycho-analysis! I pity you for needing to feel accepted or acceptable in society above truth; and thinking that anyone who doesn’t share your view must be somehow broken, un-whole or lost. Read my article on being a Salmon vs. a Sheep. Let me say this once, and never again: I am free! I am happy! I am fulfilled! I am not lonely! I am all these things more than I have ever been and that is precisely why I share my life with the world online. I’d gladly accept loneliness and suffering over oppression and mysticism any day, and if I was unhappy or lonely it would have nothing to do with you anyway – but that is not my fate – so respond to apples with apples and stop throwing lemons at me.

To the fence sitters

In some ways, this group irks me the most. These are the people who respond with paragraphs about how they believe in everything and nothing at all. My article is as much an argument against faith as it is against religion. People who say, “I agree with you that religion is wrong, but I still believe that a god or gods or some spiritual entity exists…” are religious, plain and simple. To sit on the fence is to avoid confrontation with society without having to conform particularly. It is at best a spineless agnosticism and at worst, closet atheism. Get out of the closet! You either believe, which requires the suppression of your reasoning; or you reason, and therefore have no need of faith. I don’t have to sit and philosophically ponder the weight, colour, acidity or molecular structure of an apple because the knowledge is already revealed through scientific means. All I need do is pick up a few books on the matter and the evidence presented simply removes any need for faith, or confusion about the apple. Sure, there are things we’re only beginning to understand in the realms of sub-atomic and quantum physics, but the key word is ‘understand’ – we’re not seeking to ‘believe’, we’re seeking to understand! We KNOW how the Earth was formed – we don’t need to BELIEVE some ancient myth about 7 days, or turtles holding up a flat earth etc. I have to confess that in my journey (like a pendulum swing) from belief to reasoning, I took a short stop at universalism and agnosticism, but only a short one – my mind could never be satisfied with believing in belief, or believing that anything was ‘unknowable’. Join me on the other side – it’s incredibly liberating!

To those who engaged in enlightened conversation!

You were a breath of fresh air!! These were the Christians, Muslims and Atheists who responded to my propositions with reasonable counter arguments – who did not ‘hide’ behind “God exists and that’s all there is to it” – but instead, spent a little time thinking about their position and responding with facts and sound reasoning, with respect for the subject. Although our views may be a universe apart, I welcome your comments and hope to engage with many more of you out there in the virtual universe.