Deon Barnard

Pap, for those of you from America and Europe wondering what I’m on about, is a traditional South African staple food. If prepared correctly it tastes great and leaves you with a feeling of being “filled up” and satisfied. You will usually find pap served at a braai (barbeque) with a tomato relish or a chilli vegetable relish called “chakalaka”.

Pap is simply finely ground maize meal (mieliemeal) cooked with water to form a stodgy white malleable mixture that resembles mashed potato. Pap cuts across all racial and cultural boundaries. Traditionally it has been a staple of many black African cultures forever, but the white boer settlers of the 19th century adopted the recipe as their own, adding their own unique interpretation to the cooking process. Having had many years of experience with pap, both in black as well as white communities I have been perfecting my pap-making skills over the past 15 years or so. There are few people who don’t come back for seconds of my special sweetcorn pap recipe. It borders on world-famous.

Having kept this recipe a secret for years I think its time to share it with the world… so here it is. This is how you make pap better than a black man!

Ingredients:

First, you will need to buy a bag of white, grade A maize meal (mieliemeal). I suggest a 2.5 kg bag (you will use about half of this). You will need a large pot, half filled with water and two or three cans of sweetcorn (creamed corn). For the relish you need to get your hands on two cans of tomato and onion mix and one can of mild chakalaka. You can chop tomotoes, onions and vegies if you like, but the cans work just as well. You will also need some soy sauce, braai salt and garlic for flavour. You will also need salt and a large wooden spoon (more like a small branch – I have broken many flimsy wooden spoons making pap).

Preparation:

Bring the pot of water to boil with two teaspoons of salt (at least). Once the water is boiling you need to get the sack of maize meal into one hand and the wooden spoon into the other. Then turn the water down to low (setting 2) and immediately start pouring the maize meal into the hot water while stirring vigorously. Keep doing both until the pap takes on a thick, hard-to-stir consistency (warning, you will need strong wrists and some elbow grease to do this). Then put the bag of maize down and stir your pap firmly ensuring a consistent texture throughout the pot. put the lid on and leave for about 20 minutes on low (very low – don’t burn it). After 20 minutes empty two or three cans of sweetcorn into the pap, juice and all, and stir the whole lot in until you have consistency again. Then put the lid back on for another hour or two (on low heat) stirring every 30 minutes or so. If it needs more salt, go ahead and add.

10 minutes before serving, throw the relish together. Throw the cans of tomato, onion and chakalaka into a saucepan and heat. Throw in some soy sauce and braai salt for flavour. I often add other things to the sauce like baby marrows, garlic and a splash of balsamic vinegar or Worcestershire sauce.

That’s it. Plant a blob of pap on a plate and cover in relish. Yummy!!!!!

This article has made me hungry – think I’ll go make some pap.

If you don’t recognize the guy in the picture, he’s my favourite DC superhero – Hal Jordan – otherwise known as Green Lantern. [Disclaimer: Hal Jordan and Green Lantern are the property of DC Comics and I use this picture for academic purposes only]

In short, the Green Lanterns are an intergalactic peace keeping force, kinda like the U.N. but… uber!! Each GL wears a ring that allows them to do just about anything (we’ll come back to that later), given to them by the Guardians of the universe, who are short, blue, immortals who live at the centre of the universe and keep it all together. Hal Jordan patrols “our” sector of the universe and is one of three or so GLs from Earth. He has also been part of the more well known ‘Justice League of America’ from time to time helping the likes of Superman, Batman and Wonder woman keep Americans everywhere safe.

As you may have guessed I’m a comic superhero fan and have been since childhood. I especially love the comics where superheroes fight together in teams, each one using his (or her) unique abilities to thwart the enemies of mankind. Green Lanterns are my favourite characters because of what their unique ability is – willpower! Without the rings they wear, the Lanterns are just ordinary beings without super strength, speed or any other special meta-traits, but wearing their rings they’re the most powerful force in the universe.

The way the rings work is that the bearer exerts their will and imagination and the ring complies with green construct energy. In simple English, if Hal Jordan wants a Rhinoceros to charge over the enemy he simply thinks about it, imagines it, and wills it into being – next thing you know a green Rhinoceros emerges from the ring, takes physical form and charges off. The only thing that limits a green lantern is their will and imagination.

I believe that this same dynamic applies to all people. We might not have rings of power to fly around with but we certainly have the same ability to change our circumstances through will and imagination. I’ve seen people with no formal education become hugely successful because they wielded their will and imagination against all odds. Your will allows you to tap personal resources that usually lie dormant inside you. Imagination allows you to conceive the impossible before anyone else believes it could be real. Long before we put a man on the moon someone imagined that it could be done and exerted his will to make it happen.

So what is will? How do we wield it?

Will is the unyielding desire to achieve, do or see something happen. In order to want something you need a picture in your head, that’s where imagination comes in. But we all know that just wanting something doesn’t make it happen by default – and that’s where ‘wielding’ comes in! Here are 3 things you’ll need to wield your will:

1. Determination. The word I’m really looking for here is the Afrikaans word “Deursettingsvermoe”. This word is rich with meaning and speaks of stamina, tenacity and follow-through. If you really want something badly enough you’re going to have to get off your couch and apply yourself with tenacity, determination and follow-through.
2. Courage. I’ll say it again – fear is the biggest problem we all have. The Green Lanterns call it “Parallax”. You will have to overcome your fear and face your critics, your inadequacies and your inhibitions if you’re going to have success in life.
3. Focus. It’s great to be able to shoot green uber-beams around but they’re useless if they don’t hit the target. Decide what you want (what you’re trying to do) and stick to it. Don’t get distracted. Don’t get lazy. Don’t get discouraged. Write it down. Stick it on your wall. Remind yourself about it every day. Get a friend to remind you too.

I’ll see you in space sector 24156. Happy hunting.

This is a question everyone wants the answers for, before they’ve even got to asking the question. No matter how you look at it we’re all genetically constructed to want/desire/seek out a sense of peace or happiness or fulfilment or exhilaration. I.e. we want to feel good. You may say, but what about those who seek out punishment, abuse or even death? These people have often had traumatic experiences in their formative years – growing up in abusive situations or having been neglected etc. Even these seek out a warped sense of “peace” or “contentment” by pursuing the negative thing they’ve become familiar with. Ultimately we have all developed a “definition” of what happiness is for ourselves and inwardly desire to attain it.

It would be logical to assume that happiness is not like money. There is a limited amount of money in the world and the reason many people don’t have much of it is because someone else has it. This is an issue of distribution. Happiness however would seem to be something that is essentially unlimited in quantity. We could imagine that it might be possible for every person in the world to be happy at the same time, and that me having happiness should not mean that you have less access to it. So if we’re all looking for it, and there’s an unlimited amount of it… why is the world such an unhappy place? I’ll look at this concept next. Later on I’ll give my own definition of happiness and some practical tips to get happy and stay happy in a very unhappy world.

So let us consider why people are unhappy. I recently attended a family wedding where during the reception dance I took a much needed break in the foyer, having danced like a madman for an hour or so (I hadn’t done that in a while). While in the foyer some family I hadn’t seen in a few years from overseas cornered me with a very purposeful look in their eyes and I knew the conversation had a very specific agenda. The couple I refer to are Christians of the evangelical persuasion. Good people with good intentions but really only open to a single, precisely defined world view. The conversation started with some pleasantries like, “how are you?” and, “how are the kids?” etc. Then they moved to the next point on their agenda, “What church are you fellowshipping at these days?” The assumptions being that I was Christian and that I was the type of Christian that placed some value on “fellowshipping at a church”. Both valid assumptions considering that I’ve been both a missionary and an evangelical pastor in my past. So I remained polite and said, “I’m not at any church at the moment”. “Oh…” was the surprised and somewhat tentative response. “Can you tell us why?” they continued. I knew that no truthful response I could give here would result in a rational and open philosophical conversation, but being ever the optimist I gave them the benefit of the doubt, “Because I’m not really convinced that there’s any point to it”. Uh, that turned out to be an enormous mistake. They, well one person in particular, became visibly emotional and angered the more I tried to explain my point of view. They started to bombard me with scriptures which in their mind proved beyond any doubt that everyone should be 1.Christian 2.In a church 3.Under submission to the local church authority 4.In a home cell 5. Tithing 10% of their income to the church… and the list of criteria kept growing with each passing sentence. As I showed them alternative logical interpretations for the scriptures they were flinging about they became personally offended as though rational discussion were in itself an abomination before God. They then played their final card, “Deon, I can see you’re not happy. Come back to God and you’ll be happy!” I almost burst into laughter and at the same time felt pity for these people and anger at the system that had moulded their outlook. Some very unhappy people were at that moment trying to convince me to join their “happy” club. I realized that to try and convince them about how happy I really was would only result in adding further chaos to the conversation, so I politely excused myself from the conversation and went back to dancing… happily.

I tell you this story to illustrate one of the reasons people are unhappy. Fear. I will write a separate article on fear, but it is critical to realize that fear is the arch nemesis (I collect comics) of joy and happiness. The average person is bound in fear. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. Fear of death. Fear of hell. Fear of God. Fear of authority. Fear of getting into trouble. Fear of pain. Fear of loneliness. With all of this fear it’s no wonder we struggle to smile or be content and happy. The people in my story are no different to almost anyone else. The average human being is born into a community; raised on a culture soaked in religion; told what to think and believe by parents and the “authority”; placed on an enforced timeline of school – university – salaried job – marriage – two and a half kids – retirement – death. The only way for a society to maintain this kind of pre-packaged lifestyle is through fear. Think about it. Have you ever heard these warnings… “Don’t do that – you might get hurt!” “Study hard or you won’t go to University” (i.e. you’ll be derailed from the timeline – another article you’ll be reading soon.) “You MUST have medical aid / life insurance / house insurance… what will you do if something BAD happens?!” “You MUST get married or you’ll be lonely” “You MUST obey the rules or you’ll get in trouble” “You MUST believe in God or you’ll go to hell” “You MUST have a job or you’ll be destitute” etc.

Wow, if I believed all of that I’d also be suicidal. But I have good news! It’s simply not true. You can survive without a job; I’ve done it for years. You can have an intimate relationship without getting married. You can live without the constant fear of future calamity. You will be OK in your old age (if you don’t get taken out by your fears first). If there is a God, then he loves you and he’s on your side and he’s bigger than your understanding of the universe or your ability to verbalize prayers or fulfil an endless list of duties. You are free to choose. Really!! You don’t have to be scared of anything or anyone or anything anyone says to you. You are free to think and ponder and discover and explore your universe. The world is your oyster and you don’t even know it yet. You are so scared of your next pay slip that you haven’t noticed the amazing shades of green in your garden or the beauty and wonder of your children. Whole days go by unnoticed by you because you’re paralysed by the fear of what could be instead of energized by the potential of your life.

You don’t have to live this way!

I told you I’d define my version of happiness. Happiness is a very broad concept, but is identifiable in its results. Here are a few.

A happy person:

• Is not fearful
• Is not constantly sad, angry or frustrated
• Smiles
• Has energy
• Is assertive (not passive or aggressive)
• Improves other people’s lives
• Is productive
• Has friends
• Is not lonely or bored
• Has “purpose”, a reason for living
• Feels important – make a difference in the world
• Is tolerant. Allows others to walk their own paths and enjoy the same right to free will
• Reserves judgement
• Loves generously

So how do we become happy? Here are 5 suggestions to radically improve your chances at finding happiness. This is by no means exhaustive, but I’ll save the rest for another post.

1. Slow down! It’s very hard to notice anything going on around you when you’re running past it at the speed of light. Slowing down is both physical and mental. Whenever I feel myself getting caught up in a “rush” mode, I sit down, close my eyes, breathe slowly and deeply and focus on slowing my heartbeat down. This is not rocket science, but it works. Then I quietly consider the facts of my circumstances and consider my required responses to each one. I also spend time doing what is really important like quietly and slowly stroking my kid’s hair or looking into the eyes of my loved ones and taking time to hear and talk.
2. Wield your will. I will write many articles on the topic of will power. Many people believe that they are a victim of their physiology or circumstances. My experience with training and coaching thousands of people as well as my own personal life experience has taught me that we all have an invisible, non-physical, dare I say “supernatural” power that is separate from any physiological or psychological deficiencies that may ail you. I have seen people “will” themselves out of wheel chairs, out of depression, out of resentment, out of poverty, over a finish line, through a battlefield, out of an addictive habit etc. Your will is like a muscle that must be exercised. Start with small things that often get victory over you and one at a time exercise your will over that thing until you’ve beaten it. Then tackle the next thing. You will be amazed at what you are able to achieve as you wield this power.
3. List ALL the facts. Often we are stressed, fearful and depressed because we’re basing our reactions on a single list of negative evidence. We’re conditioned to do just that. This list is almost always only half the reality (or less), i.e. the list is not complete. So finish the list, whether in your head or on paper. Example: This week is going to be a terrible week because I’m not prepared for my presentation and my daughter is having headaches again. [This is what we usually do]. On the other hand, it’s going to be a GREAT week because I’m going to do my best for the presentation and whether I make the sale or not I’m going to meet some new contacts and learn a whole lot. I’m going to take my daughter to the doctor and get a little closer to finding out what’s causing the headaches, and maybe even solve the problem altogether. I’m also going to read a great book, spend quality time with my family on Thursday, see that DVD I’ve been wanting to see for ages and enjoy the spring blossoms in the garden. I’m healthy, clothed and alive and the world is full of great opportunities for me.
4. Observe. Look around and take in the wonder of life. There are great things happening all around you every day. Consider things you see in their detail. When you see a tree, don’t just see a green object – actually LOOK at the tree and see it in its wondrous detail along with the birds nesting in it and its shape and colour and fragrance. Sit down in a busy mall or street and watch the people walk by. Consider their lives and problems – you will quickly realize that your problems are not so great and that we’re all living through the same things. Look at your kids when they talk to you. Look at your lover and take them in, appreciating every molecule of the wonder that they are. When you actually SEE life you will begin to enjoy it more.
5. Turn your worry into faith. The definition of worry and faith is exactly the same: Believing that something will happen that hasn’t yet happened. The problem is we spend far more time worrying about possible problems than believing in possible solutions. Take everything you’re worried about and list them on paper. This alone is therapeutic. Once you have done that make another list with all the things you’re ‘believing’ for – this is faith. Energize your faith with hope (enthusiastic faith), and exercise your faith with the power of your will (practical faith).