Deon Barnard

The popularity of my previous article on TV “3 Reasons to turn off the TV” was quite surprising to me, I have to say. I expected my rantings about the uselessness and brain-deadening consequences of television to fall on the deaf ears of the already-comatosed. It seems I was wrong. My sense is that many people are caught up in the TV trap and have a deep desire to be rid of the thing so that they can get on with living. It’s almost as though people need ‘permission’ to turn off the TV – as though they may come across as socially unacceptable if they don’t put in the obligatory daily 4 hours worth of brainwashing time. So here it is… “It’s OK to turn off the TV! And if anyone gives you a hard time about it, tell them I gave you permission”

Need more reasons to turn off the TV? Not convinced yet? Let your logic chew on these little gems:

1. TV destroys your love life

How many couples start their relationship chatting till late hours of the night, going out for coffee to romantic corner cafés and giving each other erotic massages all night long? TV is never even considered in those early, heady, honeymoon weeks of a new romance. Then someone turns on the TV! What a stupid thing to do. He says, “Honey, let’s go explore each other.” She says, “uh, I’ll be there later my love, I just want to finish watching my soapy… you don’t mind do you?” He goes to bed and falls asleep before she gets there. The next afternoon she says, “my love, let’s try position 37, I don’t think we’ve done that yet.” He says, “Not now honey, Liverpool just have to score one more goal and they’re through to the quarter finals.” Before long, a once-romantic couple is in a constant state of distractedness and lifelessness. Television has sapped their energy, their passion, their libido and their reason for being together. There are thousands of woman everywhere screaming “I wish the stupid *&^%$ would turn off the *%^$% TV!!!!!”

2. TV is noise pollution

It is a fact that we are not ‘quiet’ enough. Check out http://www.quiet.org and this article about the consequences of noise on our health. There is a worldwide move back to being more spiritually aware. Generations have lived under a noisy flood of religion, media, television, radio and other sounds that fill our heads with words, clichés, convincing facts and a dull sense of mental anesthesia. To get in touch with ourselves, separate from our need for approval and validation from others, we need to become quiet. We need to learn to sit quietly in the garden, or under a tree, and… think, allowing our own consciousness and self developed opinions and paradigms to form. Some call it meditation; others call it having a ‘devotion’ or ‘quiet time’, (though often these terms refer to another tactic of the institution to influence even your silent thought processes). What we really need is time to be truly quiet. This heals mind, body and spirit, and injects new energy and opportunity into your life. TV is a sure way to keep the quiet out and fill your head with useless buzz.

3. TV is a money drain

Having already established that TV is a waste of time with a list of negative consequences on your life, it would make no sense to spend any money on it, right? Well, we do spend money on TV, and lots of it. Let’s consider the impact of television on your budget. This is a South African scenario but I’m sure the principles apply anywhere. Firstly, if you own a TV you have to pay a TV license fee to the national broadcaster. This enables them to keep churching out rubbish on 3 channels 24 hours per day. A TV license costs about R250 a year. Then there’s the TV itself. Most people aren’t content to watch TV on a small box anymore, after all if you’re spending 4 hours per day watching the thing you may as well do it properly right? An 81cm flat screen LCD TV costs around R7000, which of course turns into R10000 when taken as credit installments. Then, most people aren’t happy to have only three channels of local rubbish to watch, they want 100 channels of international rubbish too. A full ‘bouquet’ of DSTV channels will cost about R6000 per year, and throw in another R4000 for an HD decoder and, hey presto, you’ve spent R20250. You could be paying about R800 per month to keep up the TV addiction, and that doesn’t include TVs in other locations like offices and holiday homes. On top of that, time is money, and if you’re spending 4 hours per day watching TV and let’s say you might be investing at least one of those hours into an earning opportunity (like writing this blog), then TV is probably costing you well over R5000 per month in wasted opportunity. Instead, the poor masses stare vacantly at the screen waiting for their ‘ship to come in’ and throwing away opportunities for success, happiness, wealth creation and relationship building, all the while making companies richer – hmmm.

Started your TV fast yet? It’s easy – just unplug your TV from the wall and put it high up in a cupboard for a month. Move your couches around to fill the vacant space and start doing other things with your time. Start a small business. Invite some friends over for games. Read to your children. Make love to your partner. Read a book. Play an instrument. Improve your garden. Start a hobby. Get fit. Discover a new restaurant. The possibilities are endless. Have fun.

The average westernized, modern, city-dwelling person has bought into a myth which I like to call the timeline. The timeline is so all encompassing that most people don’t have a clue they’re on it. Some believe it’s the “right” way to live and some know there’s something wrong but can’t put their finger on it. We’re groomed and prepared for the timeline from birth. Our parents get the ball of indoctrination rolling and the systems take over. At school we’re told that following the timeline makes us “good citizens”. At church we’re told that following the timeline makes us “good Christians”. The media reinforces the timeline 24 hours per day as the masses stare in a zombie-like state at the colourful and convincing messages that scream out, “You NEED this car”; “Buy this product”; “Don’t let your loved ones down – get life insurance”; “Retire in style – open a policy now”; “Don’t be left destitute when thieves break into your home – insure with us”; “You can’t get a job without a degree – enrol now”.

The timeline is the spoken and unspoken social requirement that everyone should get registered, schooled, graduate from college, get married (forever), have two and a half kids, buy a home, have two dogs, go to church, get a safe job with a regular income, start saving for retirement and death, get promoted, buy a fancy car, teach your kids to live the timeline, retire and die – and by the way, through all of this try not to look for trouble, don’t challenge the system, fear God, fear your government and don’t take any risks.

We are programmed to be acceptable, fearful and amiable. The only ambition that is taken seriously is the ambition to make more and more money. We are driven, practically foaming at the mouth, to make more money, all with the end goal in mind of “retiring” in comfort and having nothing to “worry” about. We earn and earn at the expense of our families, our relationships, our health and mental and spiritual wellbeing. We give up our own personal and meaningful dreams to adopt the myth in the understanding that one day we’ll be happy if we just follow all the rules.

Here are some reasons why the timeline is a myth:

1. Money is a means, not an end

Money can certainly relieve some immediate stresses, like paying off debt or hiring domestic help etc. However the real problems in our lives are caused by the way we think, not the lack of money. Often we have no money because we’re too fearful or depressed to attract any. When you have a real and meaningful personal vision for your life, and you pursue the vision rather than the money to make it happen, the money starts finding its way to you. People with a dream attract likeminded people and resources to make the dream happen. Money becomes a side issue, secondary to the main event. If you’re working “for money” and waiting for you “ship to come in” you’ll probably be waiting a long, long time. My advice: Focus on your dream, not all the things you “don’t have”. The more you fear money (or the lack of it), the less you’ll have. You need energy and positivity to be productive and achieve worthwhile goals – fear will steal all that away from you. Project your vision and attract the resources to you.

2. Retirement helps you die quicker

People have this surreal image in their heads of what retirement is. They see themselves sitting on the beach from age 55 through to uh… 120, sunbathing and doing crossword puzzles or other such arbitrary and apparently pleasant things. They have a sense that this will be complete bliss and that they’ll never have to “work” again. This is such fantastical nonsense. Firstly, we all have an innate desire – need – to work and be productive. Yes, you may hate your current job, but that’s because you’re on the timeline, your attitude is wrong and you’re doing something someone else told you to do instead of what you were born to do. If you’re living your dream you’ll be “working” and therefore earning until you die or your body shuts down, which should be long after fifty five. Secondly, if you’ve ever tried to do “nothing” for a few months you’ll realize how brain deadening and dull it is. Sure, the first few weeks can be great stress relief and recovery time, but soon you start to feel like you’re wasting your time and your internal urge to “make a difference” kicks in. People who retire to nothing start to deteriorate and eventually give up on life altogether. What’s the point of working and saving for retirement for the sole purpose of breathing and existing till you die? My advice: discover your dream and start working at it. In time your passion and ability will make way for you and you can live the rest of your life doing what you enjoy without the need for retirement.

3. Life without risk is no life at all

A careful look at the timeline and the clichés and rhetoric that support it reveals a few interesting themes. The two that stand out most obviously for me are “make more money” and “be safe!” Everything we learn from childhood reinforces the notion that we must reject risk at all costs and set up our lives for maximum security and minimal personal discomfort. Think about it, we live in prisons behind high walls and burglar bars. We insure everything we own just in case we lose it – heaven forbid. We medicate ourselves and our children into a coma. We get any job we can find to secure that all-important monthly pay cheque (for what its worth). In the process we have lost our sense of adventure, our creativity, our imagination, our pioneering spirit, our individuality, our sense of excitement and freedom, and most of all – our joy. People live lives of quiet desperation behind their physical and emotional fortifications, secretly hoping that something great will happen but always disappointed. They say the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. If you want something great to happen, you’re going to have to step out and take a few risks. My advice: create your “bucket list”. Write down three or five or ten things you want to do before you die… then do them! You’re probably going to have to face all sorts of fears and obstacles, but that’s exactly what makes life worth living. Take a risk, swim out to sea, go get your ship and bring it in. Yes, there’s a chance you’ll drown in the waves, but it’s no more risk than dying in the desert you’re waiting in.

PS: I’d love to see your bucket lists. Please post them as comments on this article J

According to the American ‘Time Use’ Survey, consumers spend 11% of their lives sitting in front of a television. A German survey says 7%. Others put it even higher at 15%. Let’s put that into perspective shall we… Statistics are telling us that the average TV watching person is sitting in front of the Telly between 2 and 4 hours per day. Let’s call it three hours. That works out to 21 hours per week; or 95 hours per month; or 1140 hours per year. Wow!

That’s fairly impressive if the TV is improving our lives… but as you’ve probably guessed already, it’s not. The reality is that billions of people are sitting and staring at a noisy glowing box every day that is stealing their time, dulling their senses and blocking their opportunities for success. Here are 3 reasons to turn off your TV and take back your life – or at the very least knock down your zombie-TV-staring hours from 21 hours to 4 hours per week. I dare you.

1. TV turns your brain off.
   
   There are numerous studies that show the negative effects of watching television on your brain. Click here to read an article about the neurological impact of television published by the Centre for Cognitive Liberty and Ethics.
   TV is not making you smarter, despite the fact that you may be watching hours and hours of Animal Planet. Have you ever had that dull feeling after watching a few hours of TV, like you’re not all there? It’s a type of catatonic state that slows your senses and makes you feel like reality is far away somewhere… not unlike many drugs – this may be the very reason so many people spend so much of their lives doing it. Here is a sample of lyrics from a song called ‘Television, the Drug of the Nation’ by the group ‘Disposable heroes of Hiphoprisy’…
   

   TV, it
   satellite links
   our United States of Unconsciousness
   Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
   The methadone metronome pumping out
   150 channels 24 hours a day
   you can flip through all of them
   and still there’s nothing worth watching
   TV is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
   Nation reads books daily
   Why most people think Central America
   means Kansas
   Socialism means un-American
   and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
   absorbed in its world it’s so hard to find us
   It shapes our mind the most
   maybe the mother of our Nation
   should remind us
   that we’re sitting too close to…
   

    

2. TV steals your time. It seems that almost everyone I meet these days tells me, “I don’t have enough time”, and yet they can spend in excess of 1000 hours per year watching television. What could you do with an extra 1000 hours each year? Learn to play a musical instrument? (Improving your creativity and relieving stress). Start a small business? (Improving your finances and getting you out of debt) Write a blog like the one you’re reading now? (Potentially increasing your finances and improving your networking opportunities). Make a few new friends? Join a club? Write a book? Read a whole pile of books? Get a diploma?
   There are any number of life-improving things you could be doing with your time rather than watching TV but instead we just have to find out what the latest scandal is on the Bold and the Beautiful or Grays Anatomy or Big Brother. People actually sit for hours watching other people brushing their teeth and washing dishes… go figure. Let’s take our little mathematical projection further. 1140 hours per year means that in the 60 years of your life between ages 13 and 73 you will have thrown away EIGHT YEARS of your life sitting on a couch and passively staring at a box!
3. TV is antisocial. It is really annoying to walk into someone’s house and the atmosphere is filled with the sound and light of television. I have had people invite me to their homes so that I can advise or counsel them on personal matters only to have them sit me down in the lounge and chat to me with the TV blaring in the background, and then when asked if we could turn the TV off they turn the volume lower or just look at me as though I’m crazy… “What? Turn the TV off? You can’t be serious!”
   Improve your family and love live by turning off the box and sitting around a table playing games or reading to each other or discussing life or dare I say… have sex!

For your health, your mind, your body, your relationships and your future, I challenge you to cut down your current TV watching time by half. Even better, have a TV fast for a month. Make a deal with your family that for one month you will watch absolutely NO TV! Unplug it and put it in a cupboard. This little exercise will demonstrate to you that you can survive without TV and you’ll be surprised how many other great and productive things you’ll end up doing with your time, not least of all – talking to people. Just remember though, TV is like a drug, so for a few days you might be tempted to stare at the empty space in the wall where the TV was because your body and brain are conditioned that way. In time you’ll find that even when the TV is there, you seldom turn it on because you’re too busy doing meaningful things. Let me know how your TV fast goes.

In 360BC (or thereabouts) a Greek philosopher named Plato wrote a book which was to change the course of history. The book was called ‘the Republic’. Many of the principles suggested in this work became the foundation of modern western democracy. In this book he wrote a profound parable / analogy about a cave dwelling civilization which I will summarize for you.

In Plato’s cave there exists a civilization of people who are bound by their hands and feet and spend their lives sitting and staring at a blank cave wall, unable to turn around. Behind the strange group of people is a fire on a ledge and in front of the fire is a roadway with a wall. Between the fire and the wall people are walking back and forth holding up wooden objects (like elephants or trees). The people are hidden behind the wall but their objects are held up to stick out over the wall. The light of the fire projects shadows of the objects out onto the blank cave wall that the people are staring at. The only “truths” that these people understand are the shapes and movements of the shadows on the wall in front of them. We’ll call them the ‘Shadow People’. Shadow People reward those who are good at guessing which shadow will appear next and how it will move.

Plato describes what might happen if you freed a Shadow Person and asked him to look at the objects that are the cause of the shadows. He might be tempted to see the objects as unreal and the shadows as the only real truth because he would never have seen the objects before and have no name for them or language to describe them. And what would happen if that person were to try and describe what they had seen to the others? They might ridicule him and reject him for his wayward ideas. And if he was told to look at the fire it would hurt his eyes and he might want to go back to what was comfortable and familiar.

He then asks what would happen if our liberated Shadow Person was taken outside the cave entirely, into the sunlight, and shown real elephants and real trees. What would he make of them? Would he accept them as truth? Plato suggests that after some time the Shadow Person would acclimatize to his new reality and begin to understand it for what it was. He would finally be able to look at the sun and realize that the sun is in a way the cause of all other things. After this, could he go back into the cave? Would he ever be able to accept the ideas of the Shadow Civilization again? Could they ever accept or tolerate him? Is there anything he could say to them to make them believe what he had seen?

5 Simple truths from the cave    

1. We really don’t know all that much! Every civilization thinks they’re the pinnacle of all knowledge and wisdom. Every generation thinks they know better than the next. We all sit smugly in our own sense of rightness. The reality is that in some way we’re all staring at shadows on the wall. Ask yourself when last you ‘looked around’. When last did you have a serious look at all the things you think are real and true and reassess the facts. When last did you challenge an accepted norm in your culture or your society or your church etc?
2. Investigating the truth will get you into trouble. Shadow folk don’t like being told that they’re wrong. They don’t like having their comfort zones disturbed. They’re working hard at becoming the ‘best’ Shadow pro’s they can be and don’t want loose cannons messing with their plans for advancement and success. If you’re breaking free of your binds and have started looking around the cave, don’t expect a warm handshake or a friendly greeting. Prepare yourself for criticism and rebuke, but remember – there are worse things in life than getting into trouble!
3. The fire and the sun will hurt your eyes. When first you discover the light of truth it won’t be easy to deal with. Your current paradigms will reject what you’re seeing and your self-preservation instinct will scream “get the hell back to safety!!” Be courageous, in time you will meet others who have walked the same road and there will be support and understanding. You may shed tears as you realize that you have wasted time on meaningless things, but consider these things school fees. You’ve learned some lessons and that’s never a waste.
4. Don’t get comfortable in the cave. You may have turned around and seen the fire and the objects and think, “Now I know the truth. Great! I can relax and settle down here with the wall people.” Your journey has only just begun! You still have a long dark path that leads you out of the cave and into the sun, and when you get outside its going to take the rest of your life to work out what it is you’re looking at. Never be satisfied with what you now know!
5. You will have to leave some stuff behind. As you embark on a journey of self discovery and truth there will be people and things you leave behind because they don’t belong in the new season of your life. You will have Shadow Friends who come with you and others who don’t. Don’t be scared to say goodbye when you need to. You may still end up seeing those people in the sunlight in time to come.

Sigh...

So what’s with the whole marriage thing? Who decided that people should get dressed in white and stand before a crowd of people and declare never-ending devotion and loyalty to one another? Most of us can’t work out what colour shirt to wear to work or whether we want chocolate or vanilla milkshake at McDonalds and yet we all freely accept that once we say the magic words “I do” we’ll somehow mysteriously be able to live with the other person till “Death do us part”, never forsaking them or tiring of them.

We are so insistent on doing this thing that people who don’t get married are pitied and “matched” for their supposed loneliness and lack of joy; people who get married without the white outfits and flowers are said to “elope” (which is a bad thing); and people who get married and then get unmarried (divorced – also a bad thing) are effectively shunned and ostracized by society in general and religion in particular.

So we are raised to believe that marriage is the acceptable norm… the way things should be… as though two people could not love each other “properly” without all the trappings of a marriage… as if long term relationships could ever work by being enforced… as if two people at age twenty something could know enough about the world or themselves to possibly understand if their choice is the right one.

What is it we’re so scared of? Do we think that unmarried lovers are going to bring down the judgement of God on society? Do we honestly believe that kids should care what labels we give to the relationship between their parents? Do we think that marriage will protect either partner against non-monogamy? Do we think that love can only be real after an event called a wedding?

In an age where we like to think we’ve evolved from the depths of ritual sacrifice, oppression of women and arbitrary invasions of small neighbouring countries, why is it that we haven’t evolved from the ancient mystical notion of marriage?

Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not for one moment suggesting that there is no such thing as true love or that people don’t find “soul mates” who they can happily spend the rest of their lives with, but all that can happen without the need for marriage and all the societal and cultural expectations that come with it. Marriage, like so many other mandatory cultural commitments is nothing more than another control mechanism that helps maintain the status quo and keeps the sheep all walking in straight lines.

I have no doubt that marriage will continue long into the future because it is so effective for keeping tabs on society – and the citizens of society will continue to get married as expected, just as they will continue to “go to church”, “say grace” before meals, “get an education”, “get a job”, “get a retirement policy” and so on. It’s just easier that way!

Religion is a mystical, manipulative and brain deadening system designed to control the weak and gullible majority for the benefit of a few hypocritical ‘leaders’ who decide all the rules. Yes, I am very passionate about this topic! Organized religion has been responsible for more carnage, hatred, war and bloodshed in the last 6000 years of our history that any other causes or motivation. Sure, it could be argued that some religious wars were really about money, territory or power; but ultimately those are the benefits of religion anyway, so the causes are interchangeable. The ‘macro’ evidence of wars, crusades and inquisitions speak for themselves, but often we overlook the ‘micro’ consequences that occur in the lives of individual adherents of organised religions; billions of hapless individuals who have had, to some degree, their free will replaced with unquestioning submission to a set of rules and regulations stipulated by a holy man or holy book; their time wasted with meaningless activities aimed at keeping the sheep in line; and their money and personal resources milked for a ridiculous cause that nobody is allowed to question.

I, like millions of others in my country was raised on church. ‘Christened’ in an Anglican church, ‘confirmed’ in a Methodist church and ‘baptised’ in the middle of Africa somewhere. I went to ‘Sunday School’ where I learned all the biblical stories and was told “it’s all true”. If I questioned anything I got some lame explanation like, “the bible says so” or, “don’t worry about that now – one day you’ll understand” or, “just pray about and the Holy Spirit will reveal the answer”. I started to believe, like so many others, that the less logical a thing was and the more I just believed what I was told ‘by faith’ and not evidence, the more I pleased God and the greater my ‘chances of getting into heaven’. I was so taken by the whole concept that I joined a mission organisation and spent the next few years travelling the globe preaching and teaching with the goal to get people everywhere ‘saved’. With each new ‘convert’ I felt I was pleasing God more and securing my position in the church and in heaven. I then joined the staff of a church as a pastor and finally even led a church of my own.

A few years into all this my brain started to rebel. On one hand I was a Christian mercenary trying to get everyone to agree with my view; but the thinking, rational, free part of me was saying “whoah – stop – look – think! What the hell are you doing? This is not what people need.” I started to become aware of what was really taking place in churches all over the world – and not just churches but temples and mosques and synagogues and all the other centres for religious brainwashing. Even more frightening was the fact that I was one of the brainwashers. I was using my public speaking ability and motivational skill to perpetuate a system of control and fear. It took a few years to separate myself from the system, so strong was its hold on me, that when I finally broke free entirely I literally wept for all the damage I had done to people’s lives. Now that I am free to think and be who I really am I am growing as a spiritual being and not stagnating as a blind shepherd. I am growing in love, in joy, in peace, in intimacy, in tolerance and in my awareness of the real truths that operate in the world and the universe at large. I don’t need to know that God (or my pastor) loves me, to love myself. I don’t have to attend arbitrary meetings to feel like I am making good use of my time. I don’t have to ‘go to church’ to feel like I am connecting with God. Nobody can use the threat of hell to convince me to obey anything unquestioningly. I don’t use ‘faith’ as a replacement for logical thought. I have no fear of being rejected by any particular community anymore. The world is my oyster – I’m fearless – I’m free.

Here are some things people need to understand about religion:

1. Religion is based on fear and manipulation

How do you take a bunch of potentially intelligent individuals and get them to believe… mmm… that the Bible is a book written by God over thousands of years using the hands and pens of various human beings, and that its all literally 100% true in every detail, despite the fact that there are multitudes of versions, some which include more chapters than others. Or that currently it is God’s will that one man marry one woman and that he ‘changed his mind’ from the days when he was cool with David and Solomon marrying hundreds of woman. Or that God was cool with slavery in 50AD but he agrees with us now that it’s not so cool anymore. Or that God cares about what you wear to church or how many minutes of ‘quiet time’ you spend with him each day. Or that God can speak to some guy leading a church in… Winklesfontein… but not to directly to you. Oh, the list is endless. Millions of illogical, contradictory superstitions are happily entertained by thinking people everywhere. How? Through fear and manipulation.

Think about it. What would happen if you were to tell your leader that you doubt God’s existence? Either he would laugh and roll his eyes, implying that you must be stupid to think that way (i.e. playing on your low self esteem and need to be accepted); or he would frown and accuse you of blasphemy and warn you not to question God (i.e. playing on your fear of hell or getting into ‘trouble’). Either way there’s little chance of having a rational conversation that involves empirical proof. The church, like any other organisation or business requires finances to thrive. How do they get their finances? They scare people into giving or manipulate them into thinking that tithing is a personal get rich quick scheme. People are told that if they don’t give, the money they keep will be cursed anyway… oh hell, then we’d better give like crazy. How do you get a bunch of people to keep giving and submitting? You gather them together every week for a brain alignment and fear casting session – it’s called church. But no one would willingly attend such insanity if they understood what was happening to them, so the religion uses fear and manipulation to coerce attendance. “If you don’t attend church you will displease God (a really dumb thing to do)”. “Why weren’t you at church on Sunday? God can only help you if you stay warm in the fire of fellowship”. “You know, if you stay away from church you’re really out in the wilderness where the ‘Devil’ can have his way with you”… and so on.

In fact, the “Fear of God” is the foundation of most religions. When your brain is bombarded with a tidal wave of contradictory and improbable notions the best thing you can do (if you want to remain acceptable and included in society) is to stop thinking and just bow down in fear and submission… aaaah, now doesn’t that feel better? Everything will be just fine. See you on Sunday. Don’t forget to smile and bring your bible. We really love you… just don’t disagree with us.

2. Religion kills

As I said earlier, on a macro scale this is easy to see. Millions of Christians and Muslims died in the crusades. Millions of innocent people died at the hands of Roman Catholic inquisitors and Christian emperors and kings. Thousands of Irish and English people died in the cross fire between Protestants and Catholics in Ireland. Many innocent Arabs we’re killed by an expanding Muslim nation under Mohammed. How many have died in India from Hindu/Islamic violence? The closed and fearful doctrines of religion can only lead to intolerance and conflict on a frightening scale. The killing I refer to in the title however is that of the individual human spirit. Religion has for years slowed down the progress of science and human creativity. When Galileo claimed that the earth was not at the centre of the universe, but instead revolved around the sun, he was incarcerated by the church and held prisoner for the rest of his life (they probably would have burned him alive had he not been as well known). Copernicus came up with the ideas before him but didn’t do much with it for fear of being killed for his ideas. The same was true for many mathematicians and scientists of the dark ages. It seems that only when an idea has enough critical mass acceptance does the church start wondering what to do with it – and then someone works out how to take the “new idea” and incorporate it into the current doctrine in such a way that it seems it was always there to begin with.

I have seen hundreds, if not thousands of people desperately trying to gain acceptance from their religious leaders and looking for a platform to be recognised for their unique gifts and talents, only to be turned away, put on the shelf or remoulded into the image of the church until the gift is dead and useless. I have seen capable, strong, talented individuals reduced to mindless cattle obeying every whim and fancy of the system – no longer capable of open, philosophical conversation or common sense. Religion replaces free will with mindless obedience; honesty and openness with fake smiles and insincere intentions; real love with sacrificial duty; passion with subservience; life with paralysis; truth with dogma and mysticism; facts with fiction; stewardship with religious stealing; inspiration with manipulation; joy with fear. I am embarrassed to have ever been part of it, but I am also thankful that I can relate to those who are in it and hopeful that I can point them to freedom. Religion does not make a man greater, it makes him weak. It does not make a man wiser, it makes him dull. It does not point to the truth; it keeps us from pursuing the truth. Religion kills our spirit, weakens our mind and steals our freedom.

3. Religion makes no sense

There are so many contradictory and changing doctrines in the church it’s really quite difficult to keep up. In fact it’s impossible to keep up, which is why the average Christian can turn their brains off and just accept everything they hear as truth. If we don’t actually process anything it’s fairly easy to go with the “God knows everything, I’ll just trust him…Keep it simple,” theory. Why is it that we take some scriptures literally (tithe 10%, fellowship regularly, homosexuals are going to hell) and others we pass off as being ‘historical’ or ‘contextual’ (cover your heads, men and women must sit separately in church, don’t eat unclean animals). The reality is that the leadership of the church will justify whatever it suits them to justify and the people will accept whatever justification is fed to them. If the logic is challenged then people resort to the old classics, “Don’t question God!” or “God told me to do it” or “If you spend more time in prayer God will reveal this truth to you” or “You’re not spiritual enough”. Yowzers! Well if that’s the case then full sail ahead – no more questions from me – no-sir-ee sir – whatever you say.

There are elements of macro evolutionary theory that I don’t buy because there’s no substantial evidence. There are also core foundations of religion that are nothing more than elaborate children stories based on imagination with no substantial evidence. Telling me that I should believe that God exists because there’s a story in a book about someone who chatted to God… just doesn’t cut it. Telling me that the world was created in 7 days about 6000 years ago is insane. We may as well believe that Smurfs exist in the centre of the earth – there’s about as much evidence. Telling me that the world was populated by Adam’s kids inbreeding with each other and then that it was all wiped out to start again with four couples and a boatload of animals in Turkey… do you think I’m retarded? Are you really going to try and convince me that an intelligent being called GOD sits in a place we can’t see or find called HEAVEN? And this God who has the power to create everything that exists, is worrying about whether or not I have sex before marriage and drink too much and has an eternal war going on with an entirely evil angel called the DEVIL whom God himself created?! And the irony of it all is that Christians think that their religion is somehow more ‘advanced’ or ‘civilized’ than the pagan religions of old or the Greek pantheon of Olympian Gods who slept and argued with each other. It’s all the same: Hindu, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Baptist, Catholic, and Charismatic – it makes no difference. If you’re in a religion then you’re accepting a bunch of arbitrary rules, doctrines and bedtime stories as ultimate truth; you’re blindly following a group of leaders; and you’re living in fear of hell. On one hand you accept that the earth is round and that the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides, because it can be proven, yet on the other hand you you’re convinced about heaven and hell for which there is no proof, logic or reasonable argument except that someone wrote about it in a book thousands of years ago.

Conclusion

I love people, even religious people. Many of my good friends are religious people and they have no doubt about my positive feelings for them. I hate religion, because it corrupts and weakens and manipulates and controls, but most of all it’s plain rubbish. Yes, there are many religious organisations that do humanitarian work and help feed and clothe and house people – but I believe that the people doing this work would be doing so regardless of their religion because they’re generous and loving people. I believe the world would be a more loving, tolerant, peaceful and happy place if there were no religions at all.

I’ll be posting a lot more on this topic in days to come.

If you don’t recognize the guy in the picture, he’s my favourite DC superhero – Hal Jordan – otherwise known as Green Lantern. [Disclaimer: Hal Jordan and Green Lantern are the property of DC Comics and I use this picture for academic purposes only]

In short, the Green Lanterns are an intergalactic peace keeping force, kinda like the U.N. but… uber!! Each GL wears a ring that allows them to do just about anything (we’ll come back to that later), given to them by the Guardians of the universe, who are short, blue, immortals who live at the centre of the universe and keep it all together. Hal Jordan patrols “our” sector of the universe and is one of three or so GLs from Earth. He has also been part of the more well known ‘Justice League of America’ from time to time helping the likes of Superman, Batman and Wonder woman keep Americans everywhere safe.

As you may have guessed I’m a comic superhero fan and have been since childhood. I especially love the comics where superheroes fight together in teams, each one using his (or her) unique abilities to thwart the enemies of mankind. Green Lanterns are my favourite characters because of what their unique ability is – willpower! Without the rings they wear, the Lanterns are just ordinary beings without super strength, speed or any other special meta-traits, but wearing their rings they’re the most powerful force in the universe.

The way the rings work is that the bearer exerts their will and imagination and the ring complies with green construct energy. In simple English, if Hal Jordan wants a Rhinoceros to charge over the enemy he simply thinks about it, imagines it, and wills it into being – next thing you know a green Rhinoceros emerges from the ring, takes physical form and charges off. The only thing that limits a green lantern is their will and imagination.

I believe that this same dynamic applies to all people. We might not have rings of power to fly around with but we certainly have the same ability to change our circumstances through will and imagination. I’ve seen people with no formal education become hugely successful because they wielded their will and imagination against all odds. Your will allows you to tap personal resources that usually lie dormant inside you. Imagination allows you to conceive the impossible before anyone else believes it could be real. Long before we put a man on the moon someone imagined that it could be done and exerted his will to make it happen.

So what is will? How do we wield it?

Will is the unyielding desire to achieve, do or see something happen. In order to want something you need a picture in your head, that’s where imagination comes in. But we all know that just wanting something doesn’t make it happen by default – and that’s where ‘wielding’ comes in! Here are 3 things you’ll need to wield your will:

1. Determination. The word I’m really looking for here is the Afrikaans word “Deursettingsvermoe”. This word is rich with meaning and speaks of stamina, tenacity and follow-through. If you really want something badly enough you’re going to have to get off your couch and apply yourself with tenacity, determination and follow-through.
2. Courage. I’ll say it again – fear is the biggest problem we all have. The Green Lanterns call it “Parallax”. You will have to overcome your fear and face your critics, your inadequacies and your inhibitions if you’re going to have success in life.
3. Focus. It’s great to be able to shoot green uber-beams around but they’re useless if they don’t hit the target. Decide what you want (what you’re trying to do) and stick to it. Don’t get distracted. Don’t get lazy. Don’t get discouraged. Write it down. Stick it on your wall. Remind yourself about it every day. Get a friend to remind you too.

I’ll see you in space sector 24156. Happy hunting.

Personality profiling has recently become popular again with generation Y moving into the workplace. Generation X had a natural distaste for anything that they perceived to be “boxing” them into a particular mould. (I’ll be writing a few articles on the generations soon). Anyway, you just need to get on Facebook to find any number of “profiling tools” that claim to reveal what kind of person, lover, parent, friend, etc… you are. I have been fairly impressed with some of them and fairly appalled by others. The reality is that any type of profiling can be harmful if used incorrectly. Some people “wield” their profiling tools like weapons and end up destroying the self esteem of the gullible or leading people onto paths that are not suited to them. Personality profiling should never be used to make the trainer or facilitator feel somehow powerful and in control, or to convince people that they have no choice and are merely hapless consequences of their genetics or some “mystical” force in the universe.

Having said all that may lead you to believe that I’m against profiling… quite the opposite! The foundation of all my training for over 15 years has been personality profiling. I believe that, if used correctly and maturely, such tools can be of enormous benefit to people. I have personally tested thousands of people in many countries and have learned a great deal about how personality traits impact our everyday lives. Understanding your personality traits helps you understand many other things about your life like:

• Why people react to you the way they do
• Why you “get along” with some people easily and judge others harshly before they’ve even had a conversation with you
• Why you sometimes feel like you have a “split” personality and seem to want contradictory things
• Why you married someone that seems entirely opposite to you (and probably is)
• Why you have that particular response to things over and over again
• Why you are drawn to a particular career choice

And the list goes on…

Understanding these things is an enormous catalyst for healing relationships, working in teams, making intelligent career choices and making peace with yourself, among other things.

When assessing your personality it is important to use a tested and accurate tool with a knowledgeable and wise facilitator. Don’t believe the results of all the free quizzes and horoscopes you find on the web or in magazines – this will have a negative effect on your life and leave you confused about who you really are.

I use the four-quadrant system that was originally conceived by Hippocrates over 2000 years ago and has been refined and perfected ever since. The “D.I.S.C.” test is a remake of the same system and is currently doing the rounds in corporate companies around the world quite successfully. Another system I have great respect for is the Myers Briggs profile which effectively determines which side of the scale you tend to fall on four scales: Extroversion/Introversion; Sensing/Intuition; Thinking/Feeling and Judgement/Perception. My critique of that particular system is that there are too many potential results. It then becomes too easy to score differently each time you do the test and therefore diminishes the validity of the results, (although mine has always been constant).

I take a simpler approach. Rather than doing a test and getting a very particular profile “set in stone” on a piece of paper, my test produces a graph with a “pattern”. The pattern indicates which traits you demonstrate more than others, and then we have some fun conversations and activities around the results. My test looks at three scales being: Introversion vs. Extroversion; Thinking vs. Emotion and Tasks vs. People. The point of the exercise is not to tell you that you can’t change or be whatever you want to be, but rather to help you realize how you’ve got to where you are and what natural strengths you have and what potential blind spots you need to be aware of in the future.

Here is a very simple list of the four “Styles” and some of their key traits. You will find things you can relate to in all four quadrants but will more than likely realize that most of your behavioural traits lie in one or two of the styles.

This is a question everyone wants the answers for, before they’ve even got to asking the question. No matter how you look at it we’re all genetically constructed to want/desire/seek out a sense of peace or happiness or fulfilment or exhilaration. I.e. we want to feel good. You may say, but what about those who seek out punishment, abuse or even death? These people have often had traumatic experiences in their formative years – growing up in abusive situations or having been neglected etc. Even these seek out a warped sense of “peace” or “contentment” by pursuing the negative thing they’ve become familiar with. Ultimately we have all developed a “definition” of what happiness is for ourselves and inwardly desire to attain it.

It would be logical to assume that happiness is not like money. There is a limited amount of money in the world and the reason many people don’t have much of it is because someone else has it. This is an issue of distribution. Happiness however would seem to be something that is essentially unlimited in quantity. We could imagine that it might be possible for every person in the world to be happy at the same time, and that me having happiness should not mean that you have less access to it. So if we’re all looking for it, and there’s an unlimited amount of it… why is the world such an unhappy place? I’ll look at this concept next. Later on I’ll give my own definition of happiness and some practical tips to get happy and stay happy in a very unhappy world.

So let us consider why people are unhappy. I recently attended a family wedding where during the reception dance I took a much needed break in the foyer, having danced like a madman for an hour or so (I hadn’t done that in a while). While in the foyer some family I hadn’t seen in a few years from overseas cornered me with a very purposeful look in their eyes and I knew the conversation had a very specific agenda. The couple I refer to are Christians of the evangelical persuasion. Good people with good intentions but really only open to a single, precisely defined world view. The conversation started with some pleasantries like, “how are you?” and, “how are the kids?” etc. Then they moved to the next point on their agenda, “What church are you fellowshipping at these days?” The assumptions being that I was Christian and that I was the type of Christian that placed some value on “fellowshipping at a church”. Both valid assumptions considering that I’ve been both a missionary and an evangelical pastor in my past. So I remained polite and said, “I’m not at any church at the moment”. “Oh…” was the surprised and somewhat tentative response. “Can you tell us why?” they continued. I knew that no truthful response I could give here would result in a rational and open philosophical conversation, but being ever the optimist I gave them the benefit of the doubt, “Because I’m not really convinced that there’s any point to it”. Uh, that turned out to be an enormous mistake. They, well one person in particular, became visibly emotional and angered the more I tried to explain my point of view. They started to bombard me with scriptures which in their mind proved beyond any doubt that everyone should be 1.Christian 2.In a church 3.Under submission to the local church authority 4.In a home cell 5. Tithing 10% of their income to the church… and the list of criteria kept growing with each passing sentence. As I showed them alternative logical interpretations for the scriptures they were flinging about they became personally offended as though rational discussion were in itself an abomination before God. They then played their final card, “Deon, I can see you’re not happy. Come back to God and you’ll be happy!” I almost burst into laughter and at the same time felt pity for these people and anger at the system that had moulded their outlook. Some very unhappy people were at that moment trying to convince me to join their “happy” club. I realized that to try and convince them about how happy I really was would only result in adding further chaos to the conversation, so I politely excused myself from the conversation and went back to dancing… happily.

I tell you this story to illustrate one of the reasons people are unhappy. Fear. I will write a separate article on fear, but it is critical to realize that fear is the arch nemesis (I collect comics) of joy and happiness. The average person is bound in fear. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. Fear of death. Fear of hell. Fear of God. Fear of authority. Fear of getting into trouble. Fear of pain. Fear of loneliness. With all of this fear it’s no wonder we struggle to smile or be content and happy. The people in my story are no different to almost anyone else. The average human being is born into a community; raised on a culture soaked in religion; told what to think and believe by parents and the “authority”; placed on an enforced timeline of school – university – salaried job – marriage – two and a half kids – retirement – death. The only way for a society to maintain this kind of pre-packaged lifestyle is through fear. Think about it. Have you ever heard these warnings… “Don’t do that – you might get hurt!” “Study hard or you won’t go to University” (i.e. you’ll be derailed from the timeline – another article you’ll be reading soon.) “You MUST have medical aid / life insurance / house insurance… what will you do if something BAD happens?!” “You MUST get married or you’ll be lonely” “You MUST obey the rules or you’ll get in trouble” “You MUST believe in God or you’ll go to hell” “You MUST have a job or you’ll be destitute” etc.

Wow, if I believed all of that I’d also be suicidal. But I have good news! It’s simply not true. You can survive without a job; I’ve done it for years. You can have an intimate relationship without getting married. You can live without the constant fear of future calamity. You will be OK in your old age (if you don’t get taken out by your fears first). If there is a God, then he loves you and he’s on your side and he’s bigger than your understanding of the universe or your ability to verbalize prayers or fulfil an endless list of duties. You are free to choose. Really!! You don’t have to be scared of anything or anyone or anything anyone says to you. You are free to think and ponder and discover and explore your universe. The world is your oyster and you don’t even know it yet. You are so scared of your next pay slip that you haven’t noticed the amazing shades of green in your garden or the beauty and wonder of your children. Whole days go by unnoticed by you because you’re paralysed by the fear of what could be instead of energized by the potential of your life.

You don’t have to live this way!

I told you I’d define my version of happiness. Happiness is a very broad concept, but is identifiable in its results. Here are a few.

A happy person:

• Is not fearful
• Is not constantly sad, angry or frustrated
• Smiles
• Has energy
• Is assertive (not passive or aggressive)
• Improves other people’s lives
• Is productive
• Has friends
• Is not lonely or bored
• Has “purpose”, a reason for living
• Feels important – make a difference in the world
• Is tolerant. Allows others to walk their own paths and enjoy the same right to free will
• Reserves judgement
• Loves generously

So how do we become happy? Here are 5 suggestions to radically improve your chances at finding happiness. This is by no means exhaustive, but I’ll save the rest for another post.

1. Slow down! It’s very hard to notice anything going on around you when you’re running past it at the speed of light. Slowing down is both physical and mental. Whenever I feel myself getting caught up in a “rush” mode, I sit down, close my eyes, breathe slowly and deeply and focus on slowing my heartbeat down. This is not rocket science, but it works. Then I quietly consider the facts of my circumstances and consider my required responses to each one. I also spend time doing what is really important like quietly and slowly stroking my kid’s hair or looking into the eyes of my loved ones and taking time to hear and talk.
2. Wield your will. I will write many articles on the topic of will power. Many people believe that they are a victim of their physiology or circumstances. My experience with training and coaching thousands of people as well as my own personal life experience has taught me that we all have an invisible, non-physical, dare I say “supernatural” power that is separate from any physiological or psychological deficiencies that may ail you. I have seen people “will” themselves out of wheel chairs, out of depression, out of resentment, out of poverty, over a finish line, through a battlefield, out of an addictive habit etc. Your will is like a muscle that must be exercised. Start with small things that often get victory over you and one at a time exercise your will over that thing until you’ve beaten it. Then tackle the next thing. You will be amazed at what you are able to achieve as you wield this power.
3. List ALL the facts. Often we are stressed, fearful and depressed because we’re basing our reactions on a single list of negative evidence. We’re conditioned to do just that. This list is almost always only half the reality (or less), i.e. the list is not complete. So finish the list, whether in your head or on paper. Example: This week is going to be a terrible week because I’m not prepared for my presentation and my daughter is having headaches again. [This is what we usually do]. On the other hand, it’s going to be a GREAT week because I’m going to do my best for the presentation and whether I make the sale or not I’m going to meet some new contacts and learn a whole lot. I’m going to take my daughter to the doctor and get a little closer to finding out what’s causing the headaches, and maybe even solve the problem altogether. I’m also going to read a great book, spend quality time with my family on Thursday, see that DVD I’ve been wanting to see for ages and enjoy the spring blossoms in the garden. I’m healthy, clothed and alive and the world is full of great opportunities for me.
4. Observe. Look around and take in the wonder of life. There are great things happening all around you every day. Consider things you see in their detail. When you see a tree, don’t just see a green object – actually LOOK at the tree and see it in its wondrous detail along with the birds nesting in it and its shape and colour and fragrance. Sit down in a busy mall or street and watch the people walk by. Consider their lives and problems – you will quickly realize that your problems are not so great and that we’re all living through the same things. Look at your kids when they talk to you. Look at your lover and take them in, appreciating every molecule of the wonder that they are. When you actually SEE life you will begin to enjoy it more.
5. Turn your worry into faith. The definition of worry and faith is exactly the same: Believing that something will happen that hasn’t yet happened. The problem is we spend far more time worrying about possible problems than believing in possible solutions. Take everything you’re worried about and list them on paper. This alone is therapeutic. Once you have done that make another list with all the things you’re ‘believing’ for – this is faith. Energize your faith with hope (enthusiastic faith), and exercise your faith with the power of your will (practical faith).