Deon Barnard

Despite the many stresses in my life: recent divorce; training slowdown; alienation from most of my Christian friends; the prospect of my kids moving to another city; and 20 years of back pain; I am insanely optimistic about life! This is partly because I was blessed with Sanguine genetics, and partly because I revel in the glory of life. There is beauty and greatness and wonder everywhere; and from time to time I even meet some decent people. Here are some of the things that make life great for me; they’re simple things and personal to me, but I hope they make someone relook at their life with a sense of balance and renewed interest. So, in no particular order:

1. McMuffin McMeal breakfasts

“But they make you fat” – what…ever!! Heaven on a English muffin, and McD’s make a great cappuccino.

2. Camping with my kids

There’s nothing better in this world for me. Collecting wood with the boys for evening campfires; hiking through the bush; lunches at waterfalls; braai’d marshmallows; catching frogs and worms for fishing; whittling walking sticks; and fire-baked bread.

3. Tabletop war games

I’ve been playing complex tabletop war games for about 8 years now, mostly Warhammer, a hobby that involves assembling and painting miniature soldiers, and then warring against an opponent on miniature lifelike terrain using tape measures, handfuls of dice and hundreds of pages of intricate rules. It appeals to my whole personality and is an outlet for so many of my interests and passions: creativity; warfare; history; statistics; strategy; mathematics; fantasy; competition; and not least of all, beers and laughter with friends.

4. Music

I couldn’t live without music. I’m always singing a song in my head and tapping out rhythms on every surface I pass. Whenever I walk into a shop or a mall I’m always instantly aware of what’s playing behind the noise of the crowd. I might be walking with a friend and tell them, “I haven’t heard this song for years” and their response is, “what song?” because they haven’t even noticed the music yet in the noise of the crowd. I had a band in Durban some years back and if I had the space now I’d start another. I often get lost in a song while driving and end up travelling 10km past my destination. I’m currently listening to Muse, Killers, Evanescence, Live and Pink Floyd. Music heals me and gives me a place to express all the emotion that is so ‘unacceptable’ in polite society.

5. Cigars, whisky and leather couches

If I’m thinking of a night out, I look for a Karaoke bar (see previous point) or a cigar lounge. I can spend many hours with a long cigar and a good scotch on a luxurious leather couch with a close friend and a philosophical point to ponder. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have too many friends who share this notion or even know what it looks like, but that just gives me another bucket list goal – to start a cigar club; I’ll call it Plato’s pit.

6. Training

Not many people can put their jobs on a list of favourite things to do, but I get to earn a living doing the thing I love most – teaching; motivating; inspiring; encouraging; and challenging people. Through all the changes and career shifts of my life, this one thing has been constant. As a missionary, I trained. As a pastor, I trained. As an IT manager, I trained. As a school teacher, I trained. I finally worked what I was and started calling myself a trainer.

7. Sex

One of the most negative effects of religion in society is that it demonizes sex. Possibly the most glorious expression of beauty and love and pleasure known to man has been reduced to some sort of secret activity that shouldn’t be discussed or thought about outside of the narrow requirements of a particular religion, sect or societal norm. People who think about sex “too much” are labeled “perverts” and have a “problem” – gimme a break! The vast majority of men are thinking about sex all the time, because it’s great! Anyway, enough ranting from me; I’ll write another article on the subject, but needless to say, sex is one of those things that make my life great!

8. Technology

If it’s got buttons, microchips, software, lights or makes noise – I love it! I live in a great era where technology doubles in the world every couple of years – wow – and because of my intuitive relationship with all things IT, I get to have tons of fun and learn new things every day.

9. Cooking (and eating)

I’m always surprised by people (especially moms) who throw baked beans on toast for supper because they feel “uninspired” about cooking a meal. For these folk cooking has become a necessary chore and food is nothing more than fuel to keep the family running. I have never felt that way about cooking – even when I’m doing it every day. Cooking is an opportunity to stretch the right brain daily and at the end of it you get to eat cool stuff too, what could be better? It’s like finger painting with ingredients! I get hungry just thinking about it: coconut curries; tomato pastas; vegetable bakes; stuffed Hungarian cabbage rolls; sticky sweet chicken breasts; creamy Greek salads… sigh.

There you go. Let me know what gives your lives meaning.

Let’s face it – parents are overworked and overstressed and don’t have tons of creative energy to come up with interesting things to do with their kids. I know the feeling! Sometimes we just need a little push in the right direction to wake us up from our boredom and repetition. Here some things you can try with your kids, and although they may not all be a hit for every child, your kids will appreciate the change of scenery and the personal interaction with you. This is not rocket science, just simple and fun things to do.

1. Build fortresses

This is a great creative activity and works especially well for boys. You will need to collect a bunch of odds and ends like: nails; wire; glue; cardboard; elastic bands; bits of metal and wood; tins of various sizes; paints; and those great pieces of polystyrene packaging that surround appliances which look like fortresses just waiting to be cut and painted! Then dive in and start building. Turn tins into towers and cardboard and string into draw bridges with chains. Make moats and elevators and stairways. Just let the imagination flow. Add to the fortresses those cheap plastic world war two soldiers and your kids will have hours of fun.

2. Build a race car game

Get a big sheet of cardboard or paper and draw a grand prix style track. Intersect the track with lines every 5cm or so. Then either use small toy cars or cut out little cardboard car shapes and paint the each one a different color. You will need a dice. Each member of the family chooses a car and places it on the starting section. Then race around the track by rolling the dice in turn. You can add your own rules like: 6’s roll again; 1’s miss a turn; etc. Have a statistics sheet and record each game’s positions, working out averages, best ‘times’ etc. I have had hours of fun and laughter doing this with my kids. They keep upgrading the track and the cars and the rules with each game.

3. Go to the zoo

Kids absolutely love animals, and city kids seldom get to go see them live, so book a Saturday at the zoo. When you get tired you can always hire one of those golf buggies – the kids LOVE that!

4. Have ice cream at a park

There are great parks with lakes and playgrounds all over the place. This gets the kids out into the sun and costs virtually nothing. Take a ball along and kick it around for a while. Take the dogs.

5. Have your kid’s friends over for a braai

Get the family into the garden with your kid’s friends. Kids get bored with their parent’s company and need to spend time with friends their age. Light a fire, make boerewors rolls and let them have fun. When they start running out of ideas, start a game of boules or croquet on the lawn.

6. Read to your kids

Just pick up an interesting book and read. It’s always warm and cozy to read together as a family all cuddled up in bed. Read with expression.

7. Broken story

As you all sit in the lounge start a story. Literally tell a story starting with “Once upon a time…” say three sentences and then ‘pass the story on’ to the person on your left. That person must continue the story and say three more sentences. You will have great fun going around the room several times and seeing how each child throws their own personality and creativity into the story. You also learn a lot about your kids this way.

8. Have a dance party

Clear out the coffee table, turn up your kids’ favorite music (I feel your pain if it’s the Jonas Brothers), and have a family disco. Invite their best buddies over and do all sorts of crazy moves and dances. Have each child demonstrate their own dance while everyone copies them. Make pink and blue non-alcoholic cocktails and even dress up for the occasion in fancy dress.

9. Go fishing

Find a nearby lake or dam where fishing is permitted, pack some chairs and a picnic and get your kids cheap fishing rods for the occasion. Show them how to attach a hook and bait and how to cast. If the fish aren’t biting and they start getting bored, unpack the picnic and have a feast.

10. Go camping

Camping is one of the greatest things you can do with your kids, ever! Campfires at night; fishing at dusk; collecting wood; hiking; pitching tents; cooking camp food; exploring; keeping out the bugs; horse riding; bird watching… the healthy, soul-restoring things you can do on camp is endless. Your kids will unwind, relax and be kids again – and so will you. Camping requires a small investment up front but it is one of the best investments into your family you will ever make. Once you have the stuff you need, camping is very budget friendly. I suggest the following minimum basics which can be found at camping stores, Macro, Sportsman’s Warehouse… pretty much anywhere:

• Tents
• Gas cooker
• Lights for inside the tents and walking around
• Portable table and chairs
• Ground sheet and tarpaulin for a central gathering/social area
• Inflatable mattresses and pump
• Sleeping bags
• Fishing equipment
• A box of cheap kitchen crockery and cutlery (plastic or tin)

Share your ideas for fun and inexpensive things to do with your kids. Leave a comment.