Deon Barnard

Despite the many stresses in my life: recent divorce; training slowdown; alienation from most of my Christian friends; the prospect of my kids moving to another city; and 20 years of back pain; I am insanely optimistic about life! This is partly because I was blessed with Sanguine genetics, and partly because I revel in the glory of life. There is beauty and greatness and wonder everywhere; and from time to time I even meet some decent people. Here are some of the things that make life great for me; they’re simple things and personal to me, but I hope they make someone relook at their life with a sense of balance and renewed interest. So, in no particular order:

1. McMuffin McMeal breakfasts

“But they make you fat” – what…ever!! Heaven on a English muffin, and McD’s make a great cappuccino.

2. Camping with my kids

There’s nothing better in this world for me. Collecting wood with the boys for evening campfires; hiking through the bush; lunches at waterfalls; braai’d marshmallows; catching frogs and worms for fishing; whittling walking sticks; and fire-baked bread.

3. Tabletop war games

I’ve been playing complex tabletop war games for about 8 years now, mostly Warhammer, a hobby that involves assembling and painting miniature soldiers, and then warring against an opponent on miniature lifelike terrain using tape measures, handfuls of dice and hundreds of pages of intricate rules. It appeals to my whole personality and is an outlet for so many of my interests and passions: creativity; warfare; history; statistics; strategy; mathematics; fantasy; competition; and not least of all, beers and laughter with friends.

4. Music

I couldn’t live without music. I’m always singing a song in my head and tapping out rhythms on every surface I pass. Whenever I walk into a shop or a mall I’m always instantly aware of what’s playing behind the noise of the crowd. I might be walking with a friend and tell them, “I haven’t heard this song for years” and their response is, “what song?” because they haven’t even noticed the music yet in the noise of the crowd. I had a band in Durban some years back and if I had the space now I’d start another. I often get lost in a song while driving and end up travelling 10km past my destination. I’m currently listening to Muse, Killers, Evanescence, Live and Pink Floyd. Music heals me and gives me a place to express all the emotion that is so ‘unacceptable’ in polite society.

5. Cigars, whisky and leather couches

If I’m thinking of a night out, I look for a Karaoke bar (see previous point) or a cigar lounge. I can spend many hours with a long cigar and a good scotch on a luxurious leather couch with a close friend and a philosophical point to ponder. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have too many friends who share this notion or even know what it looks like, but that just gives me another bucket list goal – to start a cigar club; I’ll call it Plato’s pit.

6. Training

Not many people can put their jobs on a list of favourite things to do, but I get to earn a living doing the thing I love most – teaching; motivating; inspiring; encouraging; and challenging people. Through all the changes and career shifts of my life, this one thing has been constant. As a missionary, I trained. As a pastor, I trained. As an IT manager, I trained. As a school teacher, I trained. I finally worked what I was and started calling myself a trainer.

7. Sex

One of the most negative effects of religion in society is that it demonizes sex. Possibly the most glorious expression of beauty and love and pleasure known to man has been reduced to some sort of secret activity that shouldn’t be discussed or thought about outside of the narrow requirements of a particular religion, sect or societal norm. People who think about sex “too much” are labeled “perverts” and have a “problem” – gimme a break! The vast majority of men are thinking about sex all the time, because it’s great! Anyway, enough ranting from me; I’ll write another article on the subject, but needless to say, sex is one of those things that make my life great!

8. Technology

If it’s got buttons, microchips, software, lights or makes noise – I love it! I live in a great era where technology doubles in the world every couple of years – wow – and because of my intuitive relationship with all things IT, I get to have tons of fun and learn new things every day.

9. Cooking (and eating)

I’m always surprised by people (especially moms) who throw baked beans on toast for supper because they feel “uninspired” about cooking a meal. For these folk cooking has become a necessary chore and food is nothing more than fuel to keep the family running. I have never felt that way about cooking – even when I’m doing it every day. Cooking is an opportunity to stretch the right brain daily and at the end of it you get to eat cool stuff too, what could be better? It’s like finger painting with ingredients! I get hungry just thinking about it: coconut curries; tomato pastas; vegetable bakes; stuffed Hungarian cabbage rolls; sticky sweet chicken breasts; creamy Greek salads… sigh.

There you go. Let me know what gives your lives meaning.

We live noisy, demanding, stressful, complicated lives – and most of it is our own fault. Let’s start with demands on our time. The phenomenal explosion of communication technologies in the last 50 years has radically changed the way human beings do life. One hundred years ago if you wanted to do business with someone in another country you may have sent a proposal, having written it in ink, on paper, and sent it via a long and slow system of horseback courier, ship and train. You might have expected to receive a response after a month, and then business would only get started a year later. During the times of waiting you might be chilling on your farm and considering the state of your crops. Today you can send a proposal instantly, to multiple parties, via e-mail, sms and social networks and get a response within minutes or even seconds. If you’re a day too late, someone else gets the job. Most of us are involved in multiple conversations with multitudes of people across a variety of networks around the world – all the time! We’re maintaining jobs; relationships; Facebook, Twitter and My Space profiles; hobbies; families; gym memberships; brainwashing sessions church attendance; and the list goes on.

On top of the social demands on our time (virtual and otherwise), we complicate things further with possessions. We collect stuff: DVDs; books; clothes; ornaments; gadgets; cars; phones; computers; pets; toys; and a list of other things we accumulate for purposes nobody can fathom. Then because we’ve got the stuff, we feel obliged to protect it with all our might, so we get it all insured and hire someone to babysit all the crap when we go on holiday. We’re constantly multitasking, but never really doing any one thing properly. We go to a friend’s home for dinner only to spend half the time on the phone with someone who is not even present. We eat fast foods and add health issues to our list of challenges. We get involved in organizations that manipulate our time and resources towards their own ends. We waste precious recovery hours in front of the television and yet never seem to recover. We run to doctors, therapists, religion, diets and supplements to find relief – but they just add to the complication.

Is it any wonder that we’re exhausted, stressed and depressed? It’s time to uncomplicated your life! So here are (you guessed it) three tips (I may have been Baptist in a previous life) for achieving a simpler life.

1. Stop buying stuff!!

You really don’t need it. Buying things might make you happy for about three minutes and afterwards you’ll be left with a hole in your pocket and a hole in your heart. You cannot spend your way to happiness. In fact, it may be time for you to assess all the crap you own and start giving stuff away. Your kids probably have enough toys to support a small village in Africa. All those books you own that you’ll never read, or never read again, can be given to someone who will read them. Get rid of your duplicate stuff. Make space in your home and simplify your lifestyle. Get rid of those old hi-fi systems and irons that don’t work. Stop buying pets! Animals are not grateful for the confinement of your home, and the irresponsible breeding of animals won’t cease until people stop buying them.

2. Learn how to use technology

You might be asking, “Huh?” I am a firm believer that skilled use of good technology can simplify your life and save hours of time. The reason computers can seem like time wasters is because people don’t understand them and aren’t familiar with the software they’re using. A small investment of a few hours or days learning how to use your computer properly will make you ten times more effective in the long run. You need to know how to use at least these tools at an intermediate level:

• Microsoft Office: specifically Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Outlook
• PDF: how to read and create PDF files
• Email: Outlook as well as alternative apps like Outlook express, Hotmail, Gmail, Thunderbird
• Graphics: How to find, view, download, capture and edit pictures inside apps like Word as well as more advanced apps like Photoshop and Fireworks
• Browsing: How to find exactly what you’re looking for on the web in less than 20 seconds
• Social Networking: get yourself set up on Facebook, Twitter and other social networks and improve your online savvy
• Messaging software: email is on the decline – use instant messaging to communicate with clients, family and friends on the fly like Skype, MS Messenger or Google Talk

3. Slow down

A lot of our busyness is nothing more than frenetic energy. We’re so used to moving and talking all the time that we feel uncomfortable just being quiet. I enjoy a cigar and a scotch under the tree in my garden in the late afternoon. During these times of stillness I consider my life and my opportunities and my relationships. I listen to the sound of birds and crickets in the grass and I fill my spirit with the wonder of life that is so easily stolen in the carnage of the day. I also believe in holidays. Everyone has to get out of the city as often as they can and soak up the calm and healing splendor of the country. One of my favorite hobbies is fishing, and although I have to admit that I seldom catch any, I love sitting for hours on the banks of a river or the shore of the sea and just being… quiet. Bring on December!