Deon Barnard

The average westernized, modern, city-dwelling person has bought into a myth which I like to call the timeline. The timeline is so all encompassing that most people don’t have a clue they’re on it. Some believe it’s the “right” way to live and some know there’s something wrong but can’t put their finger on it. We’re groomed and prepared for the timeline from birth. Our parents get the ball of indoctrination rolling and the systems take over. At school we’re told that following the timeline makes us “good citizens”. At church we’re told that following the timeline makes us “good Christians”. The media reinforces the timeline 24 hours per day as the masses stare in a zombie-like state at the colourful and convincing messages that scream out, “You NEED this car”; “Buy this product”; “Don’t let your loved ones down – get life insurance”; “Retire in style – open a policy now”; “Don’t be left destitute when thieves break into your home – insure with us”; “You can’t get a job without a degree – enrol now”.

The timeline is the spoken and unspoken social requirement that everyone should get registered, schooled, graduate from college, get married (forever), have two and a half kids, buy a home, have two dogs, go to church, get a safe job with a regular income, start saving for retirement and death, get promoted, buy a fancy car, teach your kids to live the timeline, retire and die – and by the way, through all of this try not to look for trouble, don’t challenge the system, fear God, fear your government and don’t take any risks.

We are programmed to be acceptable, fearful and amiable. The only ambition that is taken seriously is the ambition to make more and more money. We are driven, practically foaming at the mouth, to make more money, all with the end goal in mind of “retiring” in comfort and having nothing to “worry” about. We earn and earn at the expense of our families, our relationships, our health and mental and spiritual wellbeing. We give up our own personal and meaningful dreams to adopt the myth in the understanding that one day we’ll be happy if we just follow all the rules.

Here are some reasons why the timeline is a myth:

1. Money is a means, not an end

Money can certainly relieve some immediate stresses, like paying off debt or hiring domestic help etc. However the real problems in our lives are caused by the way we think, not the lack of money. Often we have no money because we’re too fearful or depressed to attract any. When you have a real and meaningful personal vision for your life, and you pursue the vision rather than the money to make it happen, the money starts finding its way to you. People with a dream attract likeminded people and resources to make the dream happen. Money becomes a side issue, secondary to the main event. If you’re working “for money” and waiting for you “ship to come in” you’ll probably be waiting a long, long time. My advice: Focus on your dream, not all the things you “don’t have”. The more you fear money (or the lack of it), the less you’ll have. You need energy and positivity to be productive and achieve worthwhile goals – fear will steal all that away from you. Project your vision and attract the resources to you.

2. Retirement helps you die quicker

People have this surreal image in their heads of what retirement is. They see themselves sitting on the beach from age 55 through to uh… 120, sunbathing and doing crossword puzzles or other such arbitrary and apparently pleasant things. They have a sense that this will be complete bliss and that they’ll never have to “work” again. This is such fantastical nonsense. Firstly, we all have an innate desire – need – to work and be productive. Yes, you may hate your current job, but that’s because you’re on the timeline, your attitude is wrong and you’re doing something someone else told you to do instead of what you were born to do. If you’re living your dream you’ll be “working” and therefore earning until you die or your body shuts down, which should be long after fifty five. Secondly, if you’ve ever tried to do “nothing” for a few months you’ll realize how brain deadening and dull it is. Sure, the first few weeks can be great stress relief and recovery time, but soon you start to feel like you’re wasting your time and your internal urge to “make a difference” kicks in. People who retire to nothing start to deteriorate and eventually give up on life altogether. What’s the point of working and saving for retirement for the sole purpose of breathing and existing till you die? My advice: discover your dream and start working at it. In time your passion and ability will make way for you and you can live the rest of your life doing what you enjoy without the need for retirement.

3. Life without risk is no life at all

A careful look at the timeline and the clichés and rhetoric that support it reveals a few interesting themes. The two that stand out most obviously for me are “make more money” and “be safe!” Everything we learn from childhood reinforces the notion that we must reject risk at all costs and set up our lives for maximum security and minimal personal discomfort. Think about it, we live in prisons behind high walls and burglar bars. We insure everything we own just in case we lose it – heaven forbid. We medicate ourselves and our children into a coma. We get any job we can find to secure that all-important monthly pay cheque (for what its worth). In the process we have lost our sense of adventure, our creativity, our imagination, our pioneering spirit, our individuality, our sense of excitement and freedom, and most of all – our joy. People live lives of quiet desperation behind their physical and emotional fortifications, secretly hoping that something great will happen but always disappointed. They say the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. If you want something great to happen, you’re going to have to step out and take a few risks. My advice: create your “bucket list”. Write down three or five or ten things you want to do before you die… then do them! You’re probably going to have to face all sorts of fears and obstacles, but that’s exactly what makes life worth living. Take a risk, swim out to sea, go get your ship and bring it in. Yes, there’s a chance you’ll drown in the waves, but it’s no more risk than dying in the desert you’re waiting in.

PS: I’d love to see your bucket lists. Please post them as comments on this article J

A moment of truth is that moment when a customer steps into the reception, hears the company’s greeting over the phone or opens a letter or email from the company. It’s that first impression. It’s that gut feel that says, “These guys suck” or “How dare they?” or “Wow, that person was helpful!” or “Sheesh, this place is a dump”.

It can take days, weeks or months to reverse the effects of a negative or traumatic moment of truth in a customer’s mind. Things that can have an impact on the moment of truth are:

• The upkeep of your premises
• The air conditioning
• The music / noise
• A receptionists bearing and attitude
• A salesperson’s genuineness and helpfulness
• The personal interaction between staff
• The first words spoken to the customer
• Eye contact
• A smile

The truth is that the average customer assesses all these things in an instant and unconsciously determines whether the company is worth their business or not. All too often a company has a worthy product or service but small and important ‘moment of truth’ factors are overlooked and customers are lost to the competition.

A great little acronym that should be pasted onto everyone’s desk pad, keyboard, notice board and coffee mug is E.P.R.

EPR is the CPR of customer service. Using this technique will resuscitate good customer relations and go a long way to ensuring positive moments of truth for the customer. EPR stands for Empathy, Procedure and Resolution. Let’s take a look at these concepts.

1. Empathy

Empathy is not sympathy. In the world of business it would not be very helpful to literally cry in sympathy of the customer’s dilemma. What customers want is someone who will listen, understand and take action on their behalf. Customers want to know that the person they’re dealing with is being sincere and honest with them. A customer wants to know that they have been heard and that their situation is thoroughly understood. Empathy is about being on their ‘side’ and looking out for their interests. I have seldom seen empathetic customer service in this country, most customer facing staff I have met are too busy protecting and defending themselves to be on the customer’s side or see anything from the customer’s perspective. “The system is slow today – it’s not my fault”. “It’s not my department – ask someone else.” “It’s not MY fault you didn’t check your documentation!” “Well you don’t have to get upset about it”. We cannot have empathy while we’re being defensive. Customer service is about the customer not you. Good ways to start empathetic communication are, “I understand” or “I see what you mean” or “I see you point”.

2. Procedure

Learn your ‘procedure manual’ in detail then pack it away and use your brain! It is critical that customer facing staff know exactly what the correct procedure is for all anticipated circumstances, and it is equally critical that when unforeseen circumstances arise, that they have enough general knowledge, skill and common sense to deal with anything. I have called call centers of large service providers and had an agent rattle off something like “Good day, my name is Joe Soap, how may I be of excellent service to you?” Then when I explain my situation I get silence… then, “please hold” and transferred to the agent sitting next to them. Yeah, truly excellent service there Joe! The problem is that Joe neither understands the services his company offers nor how to deal with tricky issues not covered by the rule book.

A classic example is cream soda floats. Huh? Yes, cream soda floats! Next time you go to a restaurant try and order a cream soda float. Last time I went somewhere and ordered this heavenly beverage I got a blank stare and the following conversation ensued:

“Uh… a cream soda?”

“No, a cream soda float.”

“Float?”

“Yes.”

“Uh… I don’t think we have cream soda floats…”

“(sigh) Do you have cream soda?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have ice cream?”

“Yes.”

“So can I have a cream soda please!? Large.”

“Uh… can I just check something”…

At which point she hurries off to the kitchen to check with her manager if she can take a cream soda float order. She probably gets a slap across the head from her slightly less retarded manager and scurries back to say that they do in fact have cream sodas. What was the problem? You guessed it – it wasn’t on the menu (AKA procedure manual). The issue was the waitress didn’t know what to charge for it, and she would rather bring me something I didn’t want than apply her mind to adding the cost of the cream soda to the cost of a scoop of ice cream. This is the kind of customer service I get on a daily basis. I want to scream and jump up and down and put them all in a training room to sort their brains out!

3. Resolution

The ultimate goal of customer service is to resolve the customer. Not necessarily the problem, but the customer himself (or herself). Sometimes you can resolve the customer by resolving their particular request or problem and sometimes you have to adjust the need, expectation or problem because the customer actually needs something else – they just don’t know it yet. Often a customer knows that they’re frustrated or exasperated but are not sure what particular service or product will meet the need. It is the job of the customer service agent to deal with the emotional need first and then help the customer identify the solution. Sometimes the solution is not something your company can provide, in which case pointing the customer in the right direction is resolving them. Every customer should be a fresh case of, “how can I resolve you?”

Want to improve your customer service? Check out the training link.

If you don’t recognize the guy in the picture, he’s my favourite DC superhero – Hal Jordan – otherwise known as Green Lantern. [Disclaimer: Hal Jordan and Green Lantern are the property of DC Comics and I use this picture for academic purposes only]

In short, the Green Lanterns are an intergalactic peace keeping force, kinda like the U.N. but… uber!! Each GL wears a ring that allows them to do just about anything (we’ll come back to that later), given to them by the Guardians of the universe, who are short, blue, immortals who live at the centre of the universe and keep it all together. Hal Jordan patrols “our” sector of the universe and is one of three or so GLs from Earth. He has also been part of the more well known ‘Justice League of America’ from time to time helping the likes of Superman, Batman and Wonder woman keep Americans everywhere safe.

As you may have guessed I’m a comic superhero fan and have been since childhood. I especially love the comics where superheroes fight together in teams, each one using his (or her) unique abilities to thwart the enemies of mankind. Green Lanterns are my favourite characters because of what their unique ability is – willpower! Without the rings they wear, the Lanterns are just ordinary beings without super strength, speed or any other special meta-traits, but wearing their rings they’re the most powerful force in the universe.

The way the rings work is that the bearer exerts their will and imagination and the ring complies with green construct energy. In simple English, if Hal Jordan wants a Rhinoceros to charge over the enemy he simply thinks about it, imagines it, and wills it into being – next thing you know a green Rhinoceros emerges from the ring, takes physical form and charges off. The only thing that limits a green lantern is their will and imagination.

I believe that this same dynamic applies to all people. We might not have rings of power to fly around with but we certainly have the same ability to change our circumstances through will and imagination. I’ve seen people with no formal education become hugely successful because they wielded their will and imagination against all odds. Your will allows you to tap personal resources that usually lie dormant inside you. Imagination allows you to conceive the impossible before anyone else believes it could be real. Long before we put a man on the moon someone imagined that it could be done and exerted his will to make it happen.

So what is will? How do we wield it?

Will is the unyielding desire to achieve, do or see something happen. In order to want something you need a picture in your head, that’s where imagination comes in. But we all know that just wanting something doesn’t make it happen by default – and that’s where ‘wielding’ comes in! Here are 3 things you’ll need to wield your will:

1. Determination. The word I’m really looking for here is the Afrikaans word “Deursettingsvermoe”. This word is rich with meaning and speaks of stamina, tenacity and follow-through. If you really want something badly enough you’re going to have to get off your couch and apply yourself with tenacity, determination and follow-through.
2. Courage. I’ll say it again – fear is the biggest problem we all have. The Green Lanterns call it “Parallax”. You will have to overcome your fear and face your critics, your inadequacies and your inhibitions if you’re going to have success in life.
3. Focus. It’s great to be able to shoot green uber-beams around but they’re useless if they don’t hit the target. Decide what you want (what you’re trying to do) and stick to it. Don’t get distracted. Don’t get lazy. Don’t get discouraged. Write it down. Stick it on your wall. Remind yourself about it every day. Get a friend to remind you too.

I’ll see you in space sector 24156. Happy hunting.

Personality profiling has recently become popular again with generation Y moving into the workplace. Generation X had a natural distaste for anything that they perceived to be “boxing” them into a particular mould. (I’ll be writing a few articles on the generations soon). Anyway, you just need to get on Facebook to find any number of “profiling tools” that claim to reveal what kind of person, lover, parent, friend, etc… you are. I have been fairly impressed with some of them and fairly appalled by others. The reality is that any type of profiling can be harmful if used incorrectly. Some people “wield” their profiling tools like weapons and end up destroying the self esteem of the gullible or leading people onto paths that are not suited to them. Personality profiling should never be used to make the trainer or facilitator feel somehow powerful and in control, or to convince people that they have no choice and are merely hapless consequences of their genetics or some “mystical” force in the universe.

Having said all that may lead you to believe that I’m against profiling… quite the opposite! The foundation of all my training for over 15 years has been personality profiling. I believe that, if used correctly and maturely, such tools can be of enormous benefit to people. I have personally tested thousands of people in many countries and have learned a great deal about how personality traits impact our everyday lives. Understanding your personality traits helps you understand many other things about your life like:

• Why people react to you the way they do
• Why you “get along” with some people easily and judge others harshly before they’ve even had a conversation with you
• Why you sometimes feel like you have a “split” personality and seem to want contradictory things
• Why you married someone that seems entirely opposite to you (and probably is)
• Why you have that particular response to things over and over again
• Why you are drawn to a particular career choice

And the list goes on…

Understanding these things is an enormous catalyst for healing relationships, working in teams, making intelligent career choices and making peace with yourself, among other things.

When assessing your personality it is important to use a tested and accurate tool with a knowledgeable and wise facilitator. Don’t believe the results of all the free quizzes and horoscopes you find on the web or in magazines – this will have a negative effect on your life and leave you confused about who you really are.

I use the four-quadrant system that was originally conceived by Hippocrates over 2000 years ago and has been refined and perfected ever since. The “D.I.S.C.” test is a remake of the same system and is currently doing the rounds in corporate companies around the world quite successfully. Another system I have great respect for is the Myers Briggs profile which effectively determines which side of the scale you tend to fall on four scales: Extroversion/Introversion; Sensing/Intuition; Thinking/Feeling and Judgement/Perception. My critique of that particular system is that there are too many potential results. It then becomes too easy to score differently each time you do the test and therefore diminishes the validity of the results, (although mine has always been constant).

I take a simpler approach. Rather than doing a test and getting a very particular profile “set in stone” on a piece of paper, my test produces a graph with a “pattern”. The pattern indicates which traits you demonstrate more than others, and then we have some fun conversations and activities around the results. My test looks at three scales being: Introversion vs. Extroversion; Thinking vs. Emotion and Tasks vs. People. The point of the exercise is not to tell you that you can’t change or be whatever you want to be, but rather to help you realize how you’ve got to where you are and what natural strengths you have and what potential blind spots you need to be aware of in the future.

Here is a very simple list of the four “Styles” and some of their key traits. You will find things you can relate to in all four quadrants but will more than likely realize that most of your behavioural traits lie in one or two of the styles.