Deon Barnard

The ‘Zeitgeist’ of doing business is rapidly changing in the world. Gone are the days when boards of directors could make autocratic decisions for their own gain at the expense of people or the environment. As people are waking up (finally) to the fact that life is precious,and to their own sense of self worth, and right to an opinion, businesses are starting to realize that they don’t exist for the benefit of their bosses, but for all the role players involved, which include lowly tea ladies and even the Earth itself. This paradigm shift is taking the focus off making money only and moving us to a more human, right-brained and caring approach to the way we do people – and it’s about time too!!

There are still a few dinosaurs out there in business who think that barking out three word commands to their employees is a valid communication technique. There are still a handful of emotional infants who are bewildered when an employee stands up to their bullying, and simply can’t imagine what gives this rebel the idea that they might be “equal” to their own high and mighty self. There are still an outpost of colonial rednecks in business who see people as a necessary inconvenience in the ultimate goal of raping the system and every resource available to further their personal ambitions of wealth and popularity. These are the people who don’t read articles like this one. These managers, and even a few intelligent and approachable types, see team building as a complete waste of time and money. “Why would I want to spend precious Rands or Dollars to take my staff away just to have fun? What good is a little temporary motivation? First show me the math that demonstrates how this will positively impact my bottom line! I don’t do games!!”

This is a very shortsighted and ill-informed view of things. If you’re left brained about the whole thing, here is some people math to help you along:

• People + Resources = Income Potential
• Positive People + Effective Resources = Greater Income Potential
• No Team Building + no Communication + no Motivation = Negative People
• Negative People = strikes, go slows, time wasting grievances and reduced Income Potential
• Team Building + Communication + Motivation = Positive People
• Positive People = Energy & Enthusiasm & Ownership = Greater Income Potential

The numbers seem quite clear to me – if you want to increase your income, get with the program, after all, it is 2010 and people actually matter these days!

So what is team building? Many people that have a negative view of the concept have developed this outlook on adventure team building events like river rafting or wall climbing. The problem with these events is that they often promote competition and being ‘better’ than everyone on your team, resulting in one or two ’superpeople’ loving the event (because they ‘win’) while the losers feel left out and useless – and there ends up being more animosity back at work than there was before. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m one of those people who loves to compete and do crazy things and would personally enjoy such events – but not because they build teams – rather because they’re fun and a great stress relief for people like me. So let’s call these traditional ‘team building’ events… stress relief sessions. To build a team you need to inject the kind of dynamics that get people thinking, talking, playing and laughing together. Once you’ve achieved this you can move onto getting them to ‘work’ together. Here are some key ingredients for an event that actually builds teams:

1. Start by building the individual. Raise self esteem and self worth. I use three specific activities to achieve this: The Dream Walk, Personality Power and Wheel of Life depending on the time available. All of these are done in a conference room and require no physical prowess or competitiveness – instead they leave the delegates feeling uplifted, motivated and open to whatever else may be on the program.
2. Create opportunities that force people to share without interruption and listen without interrupting. For this I use a commercially available board game called ‘The Ungame’ and other activities like ‘Walk Talks’ and ‘Kneecap Sessions’.
3. Do right brained activities! We spend so much time in left brained environments that many of us have a shriveled nut for a right brain. Right brained activities are things that involve color, creativity, music, dance etc. My Hero Game activity has people sitting around assembling and painting figurines. At first people are tentative about such exercises but once they get started they don’t want to stop because they’re healing and growing and it feels great!
4. Do physical activities that don’t prevent the average person from getting involved in a meaningful way. My favorite team building game is team Frisbee which gets the team dynamic going and everyone can get involved. Team volleyball with an enormous lightweight plastic ball is also fun. There are hundreds of clever ways to get people playing together in a way that is not overly competitive, so stay away from having winners and losers – more especially individual losers – rather have 20 people on a team all ‘losing’ together.
5. Energy and Fun!!!! Don’t get an accountant to run your team building event – rather make sure your facilitator has an inspirational quality about them or you’re going to have a lot of rolling of eyes and huffing in frustration from your group. Also make sure the facilitator doesn’t come across as ‘cheesy’ or ‘cliché’ in the way they bring things across. Use variety to keep things alive.
6. Get people doing unexpected things together like making pizza in teams from raw ingredients or solving puzzles together.
7. Give people homework – a personal goal, or something they have to do as a team over the following days and weeks. This will ensure that the energy of the event continues to have positive effect in people’s lives once it is over.

Team building works. Regular team building works even better. But best of all is Team Building followed up by interested managers who care for, and communicate with, and motivate their people every day. Feel free to contact me for some ideas for your team building event.

I have received a couple of requests to do an article about success. Is success dependant on hard work or is it all just chance? I spent some time thinking through these concepts and have developed a three colour theory on success. Firstly, we need to be on the same page with our use of the terms ‘Success’, ‘Hard Work’ and ‘Luck’ – all three of these terms have a huge number of applications and meanings. For the purpose of this article, here are the definitions:

Success = Achieving a personal goal to do, have or be something

Hard work = Application of personal energy, effort and time in the sense that it requires some degree of personal sacrifice or exertion.

Luck = Chance or random coincidence outside of your direct personal control, or if you insist – an act of God.

The definition of success here is the critical factor. Bashir, who asked me this question, used the following example: two people with similar backgrounds, with the same education and of the same cultural and language grouping are employed at the same time in a large company. After 5 years one of them has a middle management position and earns double the salary of the other who is still in a clerical position ‘at the bottom of the ladder’. What made the one more successful than the other?

My immediate question to Bashir is, “Who are we assuming to be the more ’successful’ of the two?” to which Bashir might reply, “Huh? The first of course! The one with the position and the money!!” And that’s exactly the problem with how we see success. If our personal goal is to make a million dollars, we tend to rate the success of everyone around us by that same goal, i.e. Carol hasn’t made a million dollars so she’s not as successful as Bruce. But according to my definition of “Achieving a personal goal”, Carol may be entirely successful at her goal of ironing the laundry for the day, and in Bashir’s example, the middle manager is only ’successful’ in the context of a personal goal that goes something like, “I want to be a manager and earn double my current income in the next five years”. For all we know, the clerical guy might be more successful if his personal goal was to have a simple 8 to 5 job with low responsibility and no take home work so that he could spend more time enjoying his wife and kids.

As you can see, answering the question ‘Is success hard work or luck?’ has a lot to do with what someone is trying to be successful AT. I propose that luck and hard work play different roles depending on the context of success. The rules change depending on what we’re talking about in the same way that Newtonian physics doesn’t seem to apply at a molecular level, for which we use a different set of rules which we call Quantum physics.

I propose three ‘contexts’ for success: The Red Zone, The Blue Zone, and the Twilight Zone.

In the Red Zone our success is entirely dependent on us doing something about it. Unless a bolt of lightning escapes the twilight zone to thwart our attempts at success, we will achieve our goal through at least some sweat and effort. Of course the whole notion of working ’smarter not harder’ can also apply here, but nevertheless, work is required. Examples of achieving Red Zone success are:

• Having a clean home. The dishes aren’t going to wash themselves no matter how lucky you are or how much God loves you.
• Becoming a novelist. You’re going to have to write a book to achieve this, there’s no getting around it.

In the Blue Zone our success is not entirely up to us, but it’s not entirely out of our influence either. In this zone our own efforts tend to improve our probability for success even if they don’t ensure it. Examples include:

• Recovering after a car accident injury. Our own desire to recover and subsequent interventions (hard work) will have a positive effect on the success of our recovery but we cannot determine the ultimate specifics of our recovery. There may be unknown neural or spinal complications outside of our control which have countering effects, thereby ‘lowering’ our chances of success.
• Getting employed. You can go to a job interview and say all the right things and wear the right clothes, but someone else decides if you’re the right candidate for the job. Performing well at the interview will ‘increase your chances’ for success but not guarantee your position.
• Winning the lotto. Even though the probabilities are almost entirely against this, success still requires human intervention in the form of buying a ticket. This is very close to Twilight zone success but still in the blue zone.

In the Twilight zone our success has (seemingly) nothing to do with our own efforts at all. At first glance it would seem that this type of success is entirely random or accidental. Examples include:

• Inheriting a fortune. You didn’t ask for it – you didn’t work for it – you just got born in the right place at the right time.
• Sudden death. You’re Donald Trump about to complete your latest hotel venture and your helicopter crashes to the ground or you’re struck by lightning. Not your choice, but you have to live with it… or die with it in this case.
• You get ‘found’ by a talent scout. There are millions of really beautiful girls in the world but some talent agent travels to Morocco and finds a village girl who he takes back to the US and turns into the world’s next big supermodel. Her beautiful friend is still collecting water from a dusty desert well. Hard work? I think not.

There are any number of theories that attempt to ‘explain’ the results of the twilight zone including God, a universal ‘force’, fate, karma, etc. but for the purposes of this article we will leave these ideas alone, except to agree that things happen to us that we don’t control.

These zones could be represented with two circles, the Red and Twilight zones, intersecting at the blue zone as in the diagram below:

Any personal goal or ambition we have will fall into one of these ‘zones’. Understanding which zone the goal is ‘in’ is important for understanding why we regularly fail or succeed in achieving those goals. For example, someone who constantly feels like a ‘failure’ in their job searching because they have a misplaced belief that they don’t need to ‘do’ anything except ‘wait on God’ might find themselves wondering why they never succeed. Job hunting is a Blue zone activity which becomes more inevitable the more effort/energy is applied to the search. Then again someone might spend days and days doing a rain dance in the Sahara in dry season and wonder why their ‘efforts’ are not being rewarded, i.e. attempting to increase twilight zone success. I will write more on these ideas in future articles.

I want to focus here on the Blue zone – an area that is not unlike a strategic war game, where regular good tactics usually overcome the ups and downs of bad dice rolling. My sense (untested at this point) is that some people are more skilled at understanding the probabilities at play in their success and the ingredients required for managing those probabilities and improving their chances at success. So let’s consider Bashir’s question about the middle manager and the clerk. I will assume that the two people in question had a similar personal goal – to get promoted in the company and earn lots of money – one succeeded and the other ‘failed’. This goal is clearly a Blue zone goal: their success, although not entirely in their own hands, will be influenced by various factors (I’ll use the term ingredients) including attitude, communication skills, work hours, problem solving and other personal sacrifices or efforts by the individuals involved.

Here are some of the ingredients I believe increase the probability of success:

• Perseverance: Often the probabilities increase simply because, in time, the competition moves out or moves on, leaving you in a better position to “fill the gap”. Giving up too soon negates this principle.
• Knowledge: This increases your ability to apply your efforts wisely and play a more tactical war game. Reading and practice are critical here.
• Resources: It goes without saying that many probability reducers go away when you throw a little money at them.
• Self belief: Low self esteem is sure to lower your chances at success. Self belief influences every thought and action of your life.
• Courage: The ability to suppress terror and take action despite fear of loss, rejection, humiliation, conflict etc. is a key ingredient for success.
• Relationships: Developing a strong network of allies will weigh the dice in your favour.
• Communication: You’re more likely to attract the resources and people you need for success if you have good communication skills. People also take you more seriously.

These are just a few ingredients for improving your odds in the Blue zone. Of course all the luck in the world won’t help you if you throw double 1’s, or a bolt of lightning leaves the twilight zone and zaps you, but because we have no control over these mishaps of luck it makes sense to apply your efforts to improving your odds until success becomes inevitable.

My good friend Basil suggested that the Blue zone is where the good stuff happens – the creative stuff – the innovations. I agree with him. I think we’ve all been zapped by a few unexpected ‘acts of god’ in our lives, and when that happens we tend to be scared of going too close to the twilight zone and prefer to scuttle around in the Red zone where things are entirely predictable and ‘risk free’. You may find that your ‘impossible dreams’ are not so improbable when you start applying some of the ingredients I have suggested. Remember, to win the lotto you have to buy a ticket – and although I don’t respect gambling because of the insane odds, I think some of the so called ‘risks’ we’re so afraid to take have very respectable odds when it’s all broken down.

Please send your comments. I’m especially interested to hear what you think are the factors that influence the odds in the Blue zone.

At about age 35 (or thereabouts) you start to see the world differently; you don’t feel any different in your core personality, but you’ve banged your head enough times and been dealt enough crappy cards to start questioning a few things and even start regretting some of the decisions of your youth – in a word you grow up. Ok, so that’s two words… Melancholics!

One of the things that changed for me was that I finally realized I wasn’t Superman. Yes, I used to believe I could jump tall buildings in a single bound, and almost could; or win every argument through sheer force of character, without knowledge; or cure cancer, in Jesus name! Now I’m happy if I can get through a day without taking Voltaren for my back or finding a letter from a creditor in the post box. Things aren’t as simple now as they were at age 18, and although that doesn’t make life any less worth living, it does sometimes make me wish I could go back in time and give myself some advice or at least a klap across the head. So here are some of the things I would tell myself – some of them I worked out early on my own and others… well, I wish I had.

1.    Travel. There is a huge difference between those that have left the caves of their miniscule existence in their home, their suburb, their local McDonalds, and those who haven’t. People who travel develop a balanced world view and a level of tolerance that you don’t find in insular communities.

2.    Get a degree. It really doesn’t matter what degree, just do the three to five years required to get the certificate. This develops the habit for reading and study in your adult years, but most importantly it opens vital career opportunities. On the flip side if you’re well into your twenties or more and don’t have a degree then start one now – it’s never too late.

3.    Learn how to use a computer. I can’t stress this enough. It won’t be long before most of our activities are virtual. You need to enter the working world with I.T. competency – right now that means knowing your way around Microsoft Office and the Internet as a minimum standard.

4.    Turn off the TV. Read my two articles on the matter. ‘Nuff said.

5.    Learn about accounting and tax. Whether you’re going to spontaneously launch your own small business or just keep your personal affairs in order, you’re going to need to know how these things work. Save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache and learn this young!

6.    Think twice about getting married young… or even at all. Sure, society has been promoting this way of life since the beginning of time, but the facts are overwhelming against marital success, especially for those who marry young. I know the religious among us gasp in astonishment at this notion, but let them gasp, and you live your life with your eyes wide open. Love because you want to love, not because you’re looking to find a slave you can control forever, or become a slave to a religious or legal contract. Love, intimacy and commitment have nothing to do with contracts. If you are married, chill – I’m not speaking a death sentence over your relationship, but many of you, if you were honest enough to admit it, would agree that it may not have been the best idea ever.

7.    Have sex. If you have a (consensual) lover or spouse, don’t deny each other; pleasure each other; give each other plenty of orgasms; spend tons of time being naked together; and liberate your sexuality. Society in general and religion in particular make us deny our sexuality, relegating it to embarrassing conversations in private corners; or dingy downtown porn shops; or to the purpose of procreation alone (in the missionary position of course). This is insane! People who don’t have regular sex are usually miserable and uptight. Be safe of course!

8.    Live according to your means. I see thousands of young people living someone else’s dream for their lives, which generally involves buying a house in a suburb; and a luxury car; and a swimming pool; and the latest in technology; and… and… and! If you want to be an artist then you should go ahead and pursue your dream, but understand that it will mean being real about how you live and what you have. At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter if you’re living in a one bedroom flat in the middle of the city if you’re doing what you’re passionate about. You can always swim in someone else’s pool.

9.    Learn another language. The joke goes, “What do you call someone who speaks three languages?” (Trilingual), “Good, and what do you call someone who speaks two languages?” (Bilingual), “Good, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?” (American). One of the most useful things you will ever do is learn another language. It will open your mind and improve your capacity for understanding the world you live.

10.    Don’t always follow the rules. Some rules make sense and following them is wisdom. Some rules make no sense at all and are designed to control you or keep you from inconveniencing someone else at your expense. Some rules have been there for hundreds of years and no one can remember who made them or why we’re still following them. Some rules are worthy and yet at times it is still wisdom to break them for a worthier purpose. Question the rules you live by, ask yourself why they’re there and whether those reasons make sense. The greatest men (and women) in history became great because they broke a rule, not because they were sheep who blindly followed. See my article on being a salmon, not a sheep. There are worse things in life than getting into trouble – living without passion is one of them.

Hmmm… I think this needs another post.

Do yourself a favor and spend a few hours sitting at a busy intersection in a mall or a market, and watch the people pass by. Notice all the trends as they roll past like waves. The hairstyles, the clothing, the stuff people buy and the food people eat. These are the superficial things of course, but look deeper; consider how sheep-like we have all become in so many areas of our lives. I am horrified when I talk to intelligent, educated people who view the world with the same arrogance as the Romans or the Byzantines did, as though there culture or religion somehow makes them superior to all the other “barbarian” people that infest the earth; and yet these same people don’t seem to recognize the fact that they’re just behaving and thinking in the way they were trained to do since birth – just like everyone else. Anyone that voices an opinion contrary to the bleating of the masses is immediately criticized and demonized for their views by people who don’t seem to have any original views of their own. Anyone that chooses an unpopular career, academic, religious, spiritual, sexual or social path is frowned upon by a mass of anemic white sheep, many of which, no doubt, wish that they had the courage to be true to themselves too, if only they had an idea of who they really are in the first place.

I spoke to a shepherd of sheep, or possibly just a really big sheep, some time back and we were talking about what we would do if we had the power to change the world; his response was that he would institute world peace. He said that if everyone just followed the rules and got on with their jobs and families there would be no more war and the world would be a happy place. I’m sure my jaw dropped at the astounding illogic of his argument. I said, “Ok, whose rules would we have to follow?” He said, “All the normal rules and laws of state and Christianity.” I said, “Well why not institute the laws of Iran and Islam? I’m sure they think if everyone just fell in line with their way, the world would be a better place too.” Our conversation went back and forth for some time, but I realized that while someone thinks that their view is ‘morally’ superior and backed by their community, they seldom allow themselves the opportunity to see things from a different perspective – their paradigms are set.

Why are people so terrified of someone who does things differently? Is it because they’re unpredictable? There are those who think, “OK, you’re not part of my system, but tell me which system you are part of so I know which box to put you into.” When people ask me which church I go to and I say “none”, and then they ask if I’m a Christian and I say “no”, and then they ask what religion I am and I say “none”, they seem to take personal offense to it, as though somehow my views on God and religion will contaminate theirs; they look for some psychological problem because of course I must be hurt or in need of fixing if I don’t share their views. To try and convince them that I’m happy and free is an impossible task because their paradigm simply can’t reconcile the information; instead they must change me, they must convince me to return to the flock so that… they can sleep better or something. Sheep just don’t do salmon. I wonder how many Christians would remain Christian if the overwhelming majority of their churches converted to Shinto, or how many Muslims would remain Muslim if all but a handful converted to Christianity… just a thought. Someone recently told me that I have “retreated” into Atheism – I laughed out loud when I read it, firstly because I’m not really an Atheist, but mainly because Atheism is certainly no “retreat” in the third most churched country in the world – Atheism is the wrong end of a firing squad. I admire Atheists in the world of WASPs.

Of course sheepism and salmonism doesn’t apply only to religion, but all aspects of life and world view, although certainly religion influences all aspects of life. It applies to education, choice of career, the way we deal with money, kids, health, technology, cars, homes etc. Please note that being peace-loving and gentle doesn’t make you a sheep by default, nor does being aggressive and contrary make you a salmon. A salmon in the context of this article is someone who has questioned their own views and paradigms; who has crossed the line and engaged with people of other cultures and beliefs with a desire to understand and learn; who has wrestled with the texts of their culture that set out the rules; who has withheld judgment and listened to the enemy; and who has formulated their own opinion with no regard to its acceptability to anyone else. Here are some questions that sheep and salmon ask themselves:

Sheep ask

• Will my pastor agree with me?
• Will my parents agree with me?
• Will my friends agree with me?
• Will I be rejected?
• Will I be humiliated?
• Will I be punished?
• Will I get into trouble?
• Is everyone pleased with me?

Salmon ask

• Is it true?
• Is it real?
• Is it valid?
• Is it important?
• Is it necessary?
• Is it harmful?
• Do I understand it?
• Am I being true to myself?

Are you a Sheep or a Salmon?

Managers have the difficult task of promoting the company’s agenda while at the same time caring for the personal needs of their staff. They have to get the most productivity out of employees, for the company to earn more profits, and yet at the same time see that staff are treated fairly and are personally fulfilled at work. The ‘company’ as an entity has no emotional capacity or people skills – it exists for the purpose of making profits – or at least that’s how it’s been for a hundred years; however, more and more in recent times there is a move toward a new philosophy where people, communities and Earth itself are all equally important shareholders in the company, and the board of directors are not a pantheon of Gods anymore. The old-school manipulative techniques of “you’re fired” and “don’t challenge me – I pay your salary” don’t fly anymore; in fact you’re likely to get hauled over the coals at the CCMA (Commission for Conciliation, Mediation and Arbitration) for even thinking about being so stupid. In short, the world is evolving and so must managers, supervisors, team leaders, directors and bosses. We need to understand how to get the best out of our people before we’re going to get the best out of our company. We need to start paying attention and caring.

Motivating employees is not the job of the “HR guy” or the external therapist; it’s not even the job of the manager or team leader – it’s everyone’s job. As we all start applying motivational principles at work, the motivational water table is raised and everyone benefits. Here are some tips for raising the motivational level at your workplace:

1. Have a regular “Barrel” session.

This is something I picked up from my ministry days, although few churches ever used it effectively. Imagine a wooden barrel made of staves and held together by metal bands. Imagine that some staves are short and others long, i.e. the top of the barrel is irregular. Now imagine pouring water into that barrel. If you continue to keep pouring water, after a while the water will overflow – at the shortest stave. No matter how much you keep pouring, the water level in the Barrel will never be higher than the shortest stave. Imagine the staves are critical success factors for your business and the water is the success (profits included). Have a weekly Barrel session with your team to “score” each stave of your business and then focus on improving the shortest stave – in this way you will raise the success level of your business. Let everyone get involved in the process, from the lowly receptionist to the uber-exec. Motivation starts by making people feel they’re included. PS: If you’re not sure where to start with this let me come and facilitate your first session.

2. Colorize your environment.

Nobody wants to work in a sterile, grey institution. Bring some life into the place with plants, paintings (not those sickening ‘motivational’ posters) and interesting furniture. Also, do a survey on what your employees think about their uniforms! Some corporate attire is worse than Afrikaans school uniforms. Get someone in who understands fashion and give your staff options for looking reasonable and professional at the same time. Funk up your corporate logo too.

3. Get rid of dumb incentive schemes

Incentive schemes that have your employees working twice as hard for an extra R100 at the end of the month will cause enormous dissatisfaction. Don’t link your performance management systems to financial incentives because all you’ll get in your performance interviews is everyone lying about how they’ve performed. Nobody is going to tell you what’s going wrong if they think it will impact their salary. Implement a performance management system that focuses on self development and the achieving of personal dreams, with an emphasis on coaching, and watch employee attitudes improve!

4. Communicate!

Talk to your people. Start the day with a focus session and deal with concerns as they arise. Deal with difficult situations one-on-one. If you have expectations then communicate them – only Stone Age managers think “they should know how to do that, it’s just common sense”.

5. Administrate your motivational plan properly

Many businesses administrate the more technical HR elements like salary, leave, employment records etc; but they don’t keep track of the stuff that really counts like your employees’ dreams and personal development. Managers should know where their people are ‘at’ and during regular coaching sessions should be monitoring the personal progress of each employee in their care. Keep secure records for this and please abide by the prevailing personal information security laws and standards.

6. Put the right people in the right places

Many people seem rebellious and contrary at work simply because they’re doing something that doesn’t fulfill them or suit their personality style. It is critical to get a sense of your employees’ GHAPE (gifts, heartbeat, abilities, personality and experience). In this way you will be able to assess whether you have a noisy extrovert dying behind piles of data capturing or a shy perfectionist trying in vain to motivate your sales force. PS: I can help you with this too!

I would love to hear stories of your motivational journey at work. What’s working for you? What’s de-motivating your staff? The more feedback I get the more useful I can be in my upcoming articles.

We live noisy, demanding, stressful, complicated lives – and most of it is our own fault. Let’s start with demands on our time. The phenomenal explosion of communication technologies in the last 50 years has radically changed the way human beings do life. One hundred years ago if you wanted to do business with someone in another country you may have sent a proposal, having written it in ink, on paper, and sent it via a long and slow system of horseback courier, ship and train. You might have expected to receive a response after a month, and then business would only get started a year later. During the times of waiting you might be chilling on your farm and considering the state of your crops. Today you can send a proposal instantly, to multiple parties, via e-mail, sms and social networks and get a response within minutes or even seconds. If you’re a day too late, someone else gets the job. Most of us are involved in multiple conversations with multitudes of people across a variety of networks around the world – all the time! We’re maintaining jobs; relationships; Facebook, Twitter and My Space profiles; hobbies; families; gym memberships; brainwashing sessions church attendance; and the list goes on.

On top of the social demands on our time (virtual and otherwise), we complicate things further with possessions. We collect stuff: DVDs; books; clothes; ornaments; gadgets; cars; phones; computers; pets; toys; and a list of other things we accumulate for purposes nobody can fathom. Then because we’ve got the stuff, we feel obliged to protect it with all our might, so we get it all insured and hire someone to babysit all the crap when we go on holiday. We’re constantly multitasking, but never really doing any one thing properly. We go to a friend’s home for dinner only to spend half the time on the phone with someone who is not even present. We eat fast foods and add health issues to our list of challenges. We get involved in organizations that manipulate our time and resources towards their own ends. We waste precious recovery hours in front of the television and yet never seem to recover. We run to doctors, therapists, religion, diets and supplements to find relief – but they just add to the complication.

Is it any wonder that we’re exhausted, stressed and depressed? It’s time to uncomplicated your life! So here are (you guessed it) three tips (I may have been Baptist in a previous life) for achieving a simpler life.

1. Stop buying stuff!!

You really don’t need it. Buying things might make you happy for about three minutes and afterwards you’ll be left with a hole in your pocket and a hole in your heart. You cannot spend your way to happiness. In fact, it may be time for you to assess all the crap you own and start giving stuff away. Your kids probably have enough toys to support a small village in Africa. All those books you own that you’ll never read, or never read again, can be given to someone who will read them. Get rid of your duplicate stuff. Make space in your home and simplify your lifestyle. Get rid of those old hi-fi systems and irons that don’t work. Stop buying pets! Animals are not grateful for the confinement of your home, and the irresponsible breeding of animals won’t cease until people stop buying them.

2. Learn how to use technology

You might be asking, “Huh?” I am a firm believer that skilled use of good technology can simplify your life and save hours of time. The reason computers can seem like time wasters is because people don’t understand them and aren’t familiar with the software they’re using. A small investment of a few hours or days learning how to use your computer properly will make you ten times more effective in the long run. You need to know how to use at least these tools at an intermediate level:

• Microsoft Office: specifically Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Outlook
• PDF: how to read and create PDF files
• Email: Outlook as well as alternative apps like Outlook express, Hotmail, Gmail, Thunderbird
• Graphics: How to find, view, download, capture and edit pictures inside apps like Word as well as more advanced apps like Photoshop and Fireworks
• Browsing: How to find exactly what you’re looking for on the web in less than 20 seconds
• Social Networking: get yourself set up on Facebook, Twitter and other social networks and improve your online savvy
• Messaging software: email is on the decline – use instant messaging to communicate with clients, family and friends on the fly like Skype, MS Messenger or Google Talk

3. Slow down

A lot of our busyness is nothing more than frenetic energy. We’re so used to moving and talking all the time that we feel uncomfortable just being quiet. I enjoy a cigar and a scotch under the tree in my garden in the late afternoon. During these times of stillness I consider my life and my opportunities and my relationships. I listen to the sound of birds and crickets in the grass and I fill my spirit with the wonder of life that is so easily stolen in the carnage of the day. I also believe in holidays. Everyone has to get out of the city as often as they can and soak up the calm and healing splendor of the country. One of my favorite hobbies is fishing, and although I have to admit that I seldom catch any, I love sitting for hours on the banks of a river or the shore of the sea and just being… quiet. Bring on December!

The power that drives any successful group, team or effort is motivation. I call it the “M” factor. I’ve seen, over and over again, skilled and professional teams of people fail at their tasks because of a lack of motivation. All the other factors may be in place: financial know-how; academic qualifications; physical capacity; resources; a worthy cause… but when the most important factor is missing (motivation), it all fizzles out into frustration and failure.

In this article I want to introduce the “M” factor by describing what motivation is and what motivation is not. This will be the first in the “M” factor series and the articles that follow will be practical guides as to how to introduce the “M” factor into different types of groups and circumstances. So let’s start with:

Understanding your motivational generator

There are many academic theories on what human motivation is and how it works. Two popular theories are Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs and Hertzberg’s Motivation-Hygiene theory. I particularly enjoy Hertzberg’s theory because it separates the factors that simply prevent dissatisfaction from those that truly motivate with long term effect. We’ll look at some of these when we discuss what motivation is not. I see motivation as a combination of faith and hope. It is that invisible voice that speaks to our depression and fear and says, “get up; get going; you’ll be OK; you can do this; this is going to be great!” Without this we are defenseless, we are overcome by anxiety and the instinct to give up, hide or run away. When we are motivated we have energy, strength and endurance. When motivated, men can overcome: adverse conditions; unpleasant bosses; impossible tasks; ill-health; and even great personal loss or trauma. Imagine if you will that motivation is a generator in your soul. For most people this generator’s power switch is off by default. For others, intermittent access to the correct kind of fuel has the generator powering on and off throughout the day, not unlike a typical hotel in Lagos. For a few people the generator is on all the time and they know just where to find the fuel to keep it going. The fuel is the “M” factor!

Let’s discuss this fuel for a minute. Maslow says that if you’re hungry you will be motivated by food (on the bottom, physiological layer of his pyramid). Your need to survive is the fuel that motivates you to get up and do something about it. This kind of fuel is not long lasting though, and the moment you eat something you are no longer motivated in the same way to do what you have to do to survive… until you get hungry enough again. The higher you go up Maslow’s pyramid the longer-lasting the fuel for motivation. At the top of his pyramid is the self actualization segment which involves things like: vitality; self-sufficiency; meaningfulness; creativity and authenticity. You will notice that these factors have nothing to do with money, possessions, fast cars or fancy clothes. What people are looking for (in all the wrong places) is to achieve a sense of being happy and at peace with themselves. If Maslow is correct then achieving this goal may require first working with the fuel to be found in the lower segments of the pyramid like: a sense of being safe; feeling loved; sexual fulfillment; feeling important; recognition; and a sense of achievement – again, notice that I’m not talking about money and possessions here. When you understand how to access this fuel for your own generator and to use it to refill the generators of others you will be mastering the art of motivation.

What motivation is NOT

Motivation is not keeping people happy and submissive so that they refrain from grumbling or disagreeing with you – this is easy to do through trinkets, discipline, fear and manipulation, which are very short term motivators and in the long term have the opposite effect. They are also not giving people things they ought to have already for the purpose of coercing them into action – these are what Hertzberg calls ‘hygiene factors’ or ‘factors which may prevent dissatisfaction’. I see too many managers and leaders trying to motivate their staff or teams using hygiene factors instead of true motivation. Here are some hygiene factors that do not motivate, but may cause dissatisfaction if not present:

• Salary
• Bonuses
• Good working conditions (lighting, heating etc)
• Policy and procedures
• Resources to accomplish the job
• Relationship with boss
• Supervision

These factors are not fuel for the motivational generator. I might say to you, “Joe, if you meet all your targets today I’ll increase your salary”. This may ‘motivate’ you to achieve some short term goals, but how long will that motivation last? Until you’ve spent your increase and the novelty wears off! After that you may ask yourself, “Why should I do anything for this company? They never pay me enough, even when I meet all the targets”. Your well meaning financial incentive may end up having precisely the opposite effect. Effectively you’re using jumper cables to kick start someone else’s generator, but the moment you remove your cables, their generator, which is running on empty, splutters to a grinding halt.

Many people use negative motivators to try and achieve a positive result. I see this everywhere, but particularly with parents and their children. “If my child is scared of me she’ll do what she’s supposed to do”. “The more I beat my child the more ‘motivated’ he’ll be to obey next time”. “The louder I scream the more my child listens to me!” So dear parent… how’s that working out for you? You’re just creating rebellious children, and if it hasn’t started manifesting outwardly yet, believe me it’s happening on the inside and one day you’re going to regret the monster you’ve created.

So what IS motivation?

First, it’s important to understand that motivation is personal and different for every individual. Our generators are not all the same model or size and they don’t all require the same fuel to run. Our individual capacity for motivation is influenced by many factors. In some ways Maslow is correct in that a hungry person will probably not be as motivated for philosophical conversation as someone who has everything they need. So it is critical to understand needs – your own, as well as those you want to motivate. However, having said that, my experience has led me to believe that everyone can be motivated by self fulfillment, even the hungry, if they understand what that self fulfillment looks like and get a taste of what it feels like.

The secret to motivation is tapping into the dream – the dream of the individual. Every person’s dream is unique, and although it is possible to get people motivated for a dream that is not their own, it is more powerful and beneficial to link your motivational efforts to each person’s own dream. The reason so few people are self motivated is because so many of them have no idea what their dream is. Many have never even considered the concept; they simply live their lives according to the expectations of the rich or powerful around them. They have become victims of circumstance and don’t know what to do about it. I have asked many people to describe their dream for me only to get answers like: “I want to be happy” or “I want lots of money” or “I want to get out of this job”. When I ask: “what will make you happy?” or “what will you do with your money?” or “what do you want to do instead of this job?” I get blank expressions. This is the hunger speaking; the loneliness; the lack that Maslow identifies at the bottom of his pyramid.

In my exercise “the Dream Walk”, I help people uncover their personal dream for their future. They literally draw the dream on a piece of paper and then we discuss what needs to change for them to achieve that dream and what will potentially prevent them from achieving it. When we understand people’s dreams we understand what they’re ‘about’ and we have clues about what will really motivate them. That means that to be ‘motivational’ you have to genuinely care about people and their needs and their lives; and to motivate yourself you have to start by understanding your own dream and what it’s going to take to get you there.

In the other “M” Factor articles I will specifically deal with motivating yourself, your kids, your colleagues, your friends and how to be motivational as a trainer, coach or speaker.

Watch this space!

We live in a time where a vast universe of drugs and supplements are easily available for the upkeep of our health. We live in a time of over-the-counter cures for almost any ailment; a time where patients are able to diagnose their problems just as accurately as their GPs; and nothing is impossible in the realm of plastic surgery and physical makeovers. It is now fashionable to be a green; fat-free; smoothie-drinking; vegan. So why is nobody healthy?

Despite our chemical, surgical and neurological wizardry, I see thousands of unhealthy people around me every day, young people, even kids complaining about back aches, headaches, neck aches, leg aches, nausea, tiredness and so on. Could we be missing the real cause of these problems? Sure, sitting bent over a computer for 8 hours a day is going to have an impact on your general state of health, and sitting staring at TV all night is not improving the situation much, but I believe we’re not tackling the real problem. There is a cure, an instrument of great healing that does not require surgery, medication or gym membership. It is a three letter word.

Joy.

We have lost our Joy. It is scientifically proven that happy people are healthier people. Happiness results in a release of chemicals that bring recovery and healing. Stress and depression release chemicals that result in inflammation and other nasty long term effects. Unhappy people are much more prone to developing diabetes, cancer, heart disease and other nightmarish problems. It is easy to recognize the positive effects of happiness in your own life by considering how great you feel after laughing so hard that you want to pee, or hearing that you’re not actually in trouble when you thought you were, or lying in spiritual bliss after a mind blowing orgasm…

The obvious question then is, “how do we get happy?” Don’t be fooled into thinking that my above examples of ‘feeling happy’ are the method for finding long term happiness. I merely use these as examples of the powerful chemical effect that even temporary joy can have on your life. By their very nature these things will give you an instant rush of the good stuff and then (if you have no real joy in your life to start with) will drop you like a sack of potatoes – kinda like the sugar rush my son experiences after a monster piece of double-death-by-chocolate-mouse-cake that has him bouncing around like a bionic gummi bear for 40 minutes, then leaving him in a pile of morbid, energy-deficient uselessness for the rest of the day. What we all need is to find that constant joy that works like low GI bread and keeps you at optimal health and happiness all the time. Here’s how:

1. Make a conscious choice to stop being fearful. Write a list of all the things you’re worried about or that scare you, then one at a time, preferably with the support of someone you trust, face each of your fears and overcome them. This may take months or years, but you’ll be getting healthier with each victory.
2. Uncover your dream. What do you want for your future? Go deep – yeah sure you want a new handbag or new car, but how do you want to make a difference and impact your world? Write it down, draw pictures, cut out magazines and make a collage of your potential future and then look at it every day, willing yourself toward it. It’s hard to be depressed while you’re living your dream. (If you need help with this, invite me for a seminar or workshop)
3. Get honest about your baggage! What’s holding you down in your life? It could be a person (or people), a job, an attitude, a time waster, an addiction etc. Identify the thing, stare it in the face, make plans to get rid of it – then chuck it! You’ll never be happy if you’re a slave to someone (or something) else’s expectations of who or what you should be.
4. Love. Allow yourself to love people. Anyone. Everyone. I’m not proposing that you do whatever others tell you to do (that becomes baggage); or that you believe everything you hear (because most of what you hear will be rubbish); or that you don’t recognize evil, stupidity and deceit when you see it. What I’m saying is, open your heart to people. Withhold judgment. Associate with people who are poorer than you, richer than you, speak a different language or have a different skin colour.

I’m sure there are many other things that will improve your long term happiness quotient but my suggestions will certainly get you on the right path.

Have a look at these articles on the link between happiness and health

• reuters
• realage
• futurity

Criticism is an essential part of business life. When things go wrong at work the people who have made the mistakes aren’t always aware there is a problem. Or they may not realise they are the cause of the problem. They need to know about and accept responsibility for their mistakes, or things will continue to go wrong. Part of your job is to provide constructive criticism, but before you can do this you need to know how to accept criticism too.

Accepting criticism    

It is often easy to feel that you are being attacked and therefore quite natural to feel that you must defend yourself. Here are some guidelines for receiving criticism:

• Keep calm – getting angry yourself is unlikely to solve problems and it could be harder to work with this person after you have had a blazing row
• Show you appreciate how the other person feels – you don’t have to agree with the criticism, but acknowledging that they are upset can help take the heat out of the situation
• Get them to separate fact from opinion. Establish what has happened and how it has caused problems for the other person.
• If the criticism is valid, admit you made a mistake and apologise. Then discuss what you can do to improve the situation.

Criticising others

It is unfair to criticise people for things they can do nothing about like their personality, age, gender, etc. Focus on the facts and the way people behave: these are the things that can be changed in future. Here are some guidelines for giving criticism;

• Decide why you want to criticize – is it to punish, to shift the blame or to change future actions?
• State the problem in objective language: the facts and the issues involved. Steer clear of criticizing personalities and opinion
• Discuss what would be an acceptable solution and how you would like the other person to contribute
• Get their commitment to carrying out the agreed actions

Need to improve your customer service or team dynamics? Check out the training link.