Deon Barnard

Despite the many stresses in my life: recent divorce; training slowdown; alienation from most of my Christian friends; the prospect of my kids moving to another city; and 20 years of back pain; I am insanely optimistic about life! This is partly because I was blessed with Sanguine genetics, and partly because I revel in the glory of life. There is beauty and greatness and wonder everywhere; and from time to time I even meet some decent people. Here are some of the things that make life great for me; they’re simple things and personal to me, but I hope they make someone relook at their life with a sense of balance and renewed interest. So, in no particular order:

1. McMuffin McMeal breakfasts

“But they make you fat” – what…ever!! Heaven on a English muffin, and McD’s make a great cappuccino.

2. Camping with my kids

There’s nothing better in this world for me. Collecting wood with the boys for evening campfires; hiking through the bush; lunches at waterfalls; braai’d marshmallows; catching frogs and worms for fishing; whittling walking sticks; and fire-baked bread.

3. Tabletop war games

I’ve been playing complex tabletop war games for about 8 years now, mostly Warhammer, a hobby that involves assembling and painting miniature soldiers, and then warring against an opponent on miniature lifelike terrain using tape measures, handfuls of dice and hundreds of pages of intricate rules. It appeals to my whole personality and is an outlet for so many of my interests and passions: creativity; warfare; history; statistics; strategy; mathematics; fantasy; competition; and not least of all, beers and laughter with friends.

4. Music

I couldn’t live without music. I’m always singing a song in my head and tapping out rhythms on every surface I pass. Whenever I walk into a shop or a mall I’m always instantly aware of what’s playing behind the noise of the crowd. I might be walking with a friend and tell them, “I haven’t heard this song for years” and their response is, “what song?” because they haven’t even noticed the music yet in the noise of the crowd. I had a band in Durban some years back and if I had the space now I’d start another. I often get lost in a song while driving and end up travelling 10km past my destination. I’m currently listening to Muse, Killers, Evanescence, Live and Pink Floyd. Music heals me and gives me a place to express all the emotion that is so ‘unacceptable’ in polite society.

5. Cigars, whisky and leather couches

If I’m thinking of a night out, I look for a Karaoke bar (see previous point) or a cigar lounge. I can spend many hours with a long cigar and a good scotch on a luxurious leather couch with a close friend and a philosophical point to ponder. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have too many friends who share this notion or even know what it looks like, but that just gives me another bucket list goal – to start a cigar club; I’ll call it Plato’s pit.

6. Training

Not many people can put their jobs on a list of favourite things to do, but I get to earn a living doing the thing I love most – teaching; motivating; inspiring; encouraging; and challenging people. Through all the changes and career shifts of my life, this one thing has been constant. As a missionary, I trained. As a pastor, I trained. As an IT manager, I trained. As a school teacher, I trained. I finally worked what I was and started calling myself a trainer.

7. Sex

One of the most negative effects of religion in society is that it demonizes sex. Possibly the most glorious expression of beauty and love and pleasure known to man has been reduced to some sort of secret activity that shouldn’t be discussed or thought about outside of the narrow requirements of a particular religion, sect or societal norm. People who think about sex “too much” are labeled “perverts” and have a “problem” – gimme a break! The vast majority of men are thinking about sex all the time, because it’s great! Anyway, enough ranting from me; I’ll write another article on the subject, but needless to say, sex is one of those things that make my life great!

8. Technology

If it’s got buttons, microchips, software, lights or makes noise – I love it! I live in a great era where technology doubles in the world every couple of years – wow – and because of my intuitive relationship with all things IT, I get to have tons of fun and learn new things every day.

9. Cooking (and eating)

I’m always surprised by people (especially moms) who throw baked beans on toast for supper because they feel “uninspired” about cooking a meal. For these folk cooking has become a necessary chore and food is nothing more than fuel to keep the family running. I have never felt that way about cooking – even when I’m doing it every day. Cooking is an opportunity to stretch the right brain daily and at the end of it you get to eat cool stuff too, what could be better? It’s like finger painting with ingredients! I get hungry just thinking about it: coconut curries; tomato pastas; vegetable bakes; stuffed Hungarian cabbage rolls; sticky sweet chicken breasts; creamy Greek salads… sigh.

There you go. Let me know what gives your lives meaning.

If you’ve read my article ’3 reasons to turn off the TV’ then you know that I don’t watch much TV, in fact if I’ve watched 10 episodes of anything this whole year it’s a lot. I do however love movies. I try watching them on the big screen where possible so as not to miss out on all the size and sound as envisioned by the directors and producers. I love movies for many reasons; firstly because I’m a story teller myself, and messages are often easier to accept when you’re looking at them portrayed in the lives of others rather than being directly preached at. As with T.V. there is a pile of mindless nonsense being spewed out of Hollywood, Nollywood and Bollywood, but every so often something powerful, meaningful or true comes along that moves my heart and quite literally changes my mind or life in the process. These are not movies designed for the entertainment value of explosions or high speed car chases alone, but rather movies that say something about the human condition in a special way. I’ll start with five movies, and if there’s a request for more I’ll do another article. Maybe you enjoyed these as much as I did:

The Village (M.Night Shayamalin: starring Joaquin Phoenix, William Hurt and Sigourney Weaver)

I think anything by Shayamalin is brilliant. His stories twist and turn and leave you with a sense of, “hmm, not quite what I expected, but wow!” This is not a horror despite the picture they used to advertise with. The Village is a wonderful story about how humans come together to form safe and loving communities but then fall into the trap of control and deception. It looks at censorship, leadership, culture, society, religion and a host of other human traits like courage and love. Shayamalin casts all his movies superbly.

Michael Collins (Neil Jordan: starring Liam Neeson, Aidan Quinn and Julia Roberts)

This movie inspired me! It is an historical look (back to 1920) at the early days of the Irish Republican Army (IRA) and one of its leader’s, Michael Collins (played by Liam Neeson who instantly became one of my favorite actors). I was particularly impressed with how effectively this man organized and communicated to an underground resistance army almost entirely without the use of technology using a small group structure. As with all movies of this type (Brave heart, Rob Roy etc.), I was also moved by his personal bravery and determination.

Taare Zameen Par (Aamir Khan: starring Aamir Khan and Darsheel Safary)

I had not seen many Bollywood movies and incorrectly assumed they were all musical action-love stories with repetitive plots – boy was I wrong!! Every time I see this movie I cry my eyes out. It is a moving story (brilliantly acted) about a boy with dyslexia (and possibly HDD) who is misunderstood by everyone at school and at home and finally, on the brink of suicide, is rescued by an incredible (and also dyslexic) teacher. There are so many kids in this type of situation today – this movie should be mandatory viewing for all parents and teachers. A must see.

The Matrix (Andy & Larry Wachowski: starring Keanu Reaves and Laurence Fishburne)

Don’t watch this movie for the great acting, because there is none. I loved this movie because it was a revolution in the way movies did special effects, but most importantly it was the first movie that really tackled the question, “What if everything we know is wrong?” It also stirs up philosophical questions like, “Can we be sure that what our senses tell us is true?” and presents the concept of an ‘online’ existence separate from our physical self, which we’re now starting to see with apps like 2^nd Life.

Luther (Eric Till: starring Joseph Fiennes)

The dramatic story of the German priest, Martin Luther (date 1520), who all but single handedly stood against the Roman Catholic Church which ruled the western world through fear and manipulation. His actions resulted in the formation of the Protestant Church and eventually led to political reforms that have changed the world forever. I was deeply moved by his conviction and bravery. There are many other themes that come through in this movie like how one group can see the actions of a man as divisive rebellion and another group sees those same actions as positive reform – often only time can tell.

What movies changed your life? Leave comments!

Religion is a mystical, manipulative and brain deadening system designed to control the weak and gullible majority for the benefit of a few hypocritical ‘leaders’ who decide all the rules. Yes, I am very passionate about this topic! Organized religion has been responsible for more carnage, hatred, war and bloodshed in the last 6000 years of our history that any other causes or motivation. Sure, it could be argued that some religious wars were really about money, territory or power; but ultimately those are the benefits of religion anyway, so the causes are interchangeable. The ‘macro’ evidence of wars, crusades and inquisitions speak for themselves, but often we overlook the ‘micro’ consequences that occur in the lives of individual adherents of organised religions; billions of hapless individuals who have had, to some degree, their free will replaced with unquestioning submission to a set of rules and regulations stipulated by a holy man or holy book; their time wasted with meaningless activities aimed at keeping the sheep in line; and their money and personal resources milked for a ridiculous cause that nobody is allowed to question.

I, like millions of others in my country was raised on church. ‘Christened’ in an Anglican church, ‘confirmed’ in a Methodist church and ‘baptised’ in the middle of Africa somewhere. I went to ‘Sunday School’ where I learned all the biblical stories and was told “it’s all true”. If I questioned anything I got some lame explanation like, “the bible says so” or, “don’t worry about that now – one day you’ll understand” or, “just pray about and the Holy Spirit will reveal the answer”. I started to believe, like so many others, that the less logical a thing was and the more I just believed what I was told ‘by faith’ and not evidence, the more I pleased God and the greater my ‘chances of getting into heaven’. I was so taken by the whole concept that I joined a mission organisation and spent the next few years travelling the globe preaching and teaching with the goal to get people everywhere ‘saved’. With each new ‘convert’ I felt I was pleasing God more and securing my position in the church and in heaven. I then joined the staff of a church as a pastor and finally even led a church of my own.

A few years into all this my brain started to rebel. On one hand I was a Christian mercenary trying to get everyone to agree with my view; but the thinking, rational, free part of me was saying “whoah – stop – look – think! What the hell are you doing? This is not what people need.” I started to become aware of what was really taking place in churches all over the world – and not just churches but temples and mosques and synagogues and all the other centres for religious brainwashing. Even more frightening was the fact that I was one of the brainwashers. I was using my public speaking ability and motivational skill to perpetuate a system of control and fear. It took a few years to separate myself from the system, so strong was its hold on me, that when I finally broke free entirely I literally wept for all the damage I had done to people’s lives. Now that I am free to think and be who I really am I am growing as a spiritual being and not stagnating as a blind shepherd. I am growing in love, in joy, in peace, in intimacy, in tolerance and in my awareness of the real truths that operate in the world and the universe at large. I don’t need to know that God (or my pastor) loves me, to love myself. I don’t have to attend arbitrary meetings to feel like I am making good use of my time. I don’t have to ‘go to church’ to feel like I am connecting with God. Nobody can use the threat of hell to convince me to obey anything unquestioningly. I don’t use ‘faith’ as a replacement for logical thought. I have no fear of being rejected by any particular community anymore. The world is my oyster – I’m fearless – I’m free.

Here are some things people need to understand about religion:

1. Religion is based on fear and manipulation

How do you take a bunch of potentially intelligent individuals and get them to believe… mmm… that the Bible is a book written by God over thousands of years using the hands and pens of various human beings, and that its all literally 100% true in every detail, despite the fact that there are multitudes of versions, some which include more chapters than others. Or that currently it is God’s will that one man marry one woman and that he ‘changed his mind’ from the days when he was cool with David and Solomon marrying hundreds of woman. Or that God was cool with slavery in 50AD but he agrees with us now that it’s not so cool anymore. Or that God cares about what you wear to church or how many minutes of ‘quiet time’ you spend with him each day. Or that God can speak to some guy leading a church in… Winklesfontein… but not to directly to you. Oh, the list is endless. Millions of illogical, contradictory superstitions are happily entertained by thinking people everywhere. How? Through fear and manipulation.

Think about it. What would happen if you were to tell your leader that you doubt God’s existence? Either he would laugh and roll his eyes, implying that you must be stupid to think that way (i.e. playing on your low self esteem and need to be accepted); or he would frown and accuse you of blasphemy and warn you not to question God (i.e. playing on your fear of hell or getting into ‘trouble’). Either way there’s little chance of having a rational conversation that involves empirical proof. The church, like any other organisation or business requires finances to thrive. How do they get their finances? They scare people into giving or manipulate them into thinking that tithing is a personal get rich quick scheme. People are told that if they don’t give, the money they keep will be cursed anyway… oh hell, then we’d better give like crazy. How do you get a bunch of people to keep giving and submitting? You gather them together every week for a brain alignment and fear casting session – it’s called church. But no one would willingly attend such insanity if they understood what was happening to them, so the religion uses fear and manipulation to coerce attendance. “If you don’t attend church you will displease God (a really dumb thing to do)”. “Why weren’t you at church on Sunday? God can only help you if you stay warm in the fire of fellowship”. “You know, if you stay away from church you’re really out in the wilderness where the ‘Devil’ can have his way with you”… and so on.

In fact, the “Fear of God” is the foundation of most religions. When your brain is bombarded with a tidal wave of contradictory and improbable notions the best thing you can do (if you want to remain acceptable and included in society) is to stop thinking and just bow down in fear and submission… aaaah, now doesn’t that feel better? Everything will be just fine. See you on Sunday. Don’t forget to smile and bring your bible. We really love you… just don’t disagree with us.

2. Religion kills

As I said earlier, on a macro scale this is easy to see. Millions of Christians and Muslims died in the crusades. Millions of innocent people died at the hands of Roman Catholic inquisitors and Christian emperors and kings. Thousands of Irish and English people died in the cross fire between Protestants and Catholics in Ireland. Many innocent Arabs we’re killed by an expanding Muslim nation under Mohammed. How many have died in India from Hindu/Islamic violence? The closed and fearful doctrines of religion can only lead to intolerance and conflict on a frightening scale. The killing I refer to in the title however is that of the individual human spirit. Religion has for years slowed down the progress of science and human creativity. When Galileo claimed that the earth was not at the centre of the universe, but instead revolved around the sun, he was incarcerated by the church and held prisoner for the rest of his life (they probably would have burned him alive had he not been as well known). Copernicus came up with the ideas before him but didn’t do much with it for fear of being killed for his ideas. The same was true for many mathematicians and scientists of the dark ages. It seems that only when an idea has enough critical mass acceptance does the church start wondering what to do with it – and then someone works out how to take the “new idea” and incorporate it into the current doctrine in such a way that it seems it was always there to begin with.

I have seen hundreds, if not thousands of people desperately trying to gain acceptance from their religious leaders and looking for a platform to be recognised for their unique gifts and talents, only to be turned away, put on the shelf or remoulded into the image of the church until the gift is dead and useless. I have seen capable, strong, talented individuals reduced to mindless cattle obeying every whim and fancy of the system – no longer capable of open, philosophical conversation or common sense. Religion replaces free will with mindless obedience; honesty and openness with fake smiles and insincere intentions; real love with sacrificial duty; passion with subservience; life with paralysis; truth with dogma and mysticism; facts with fiction; stewardship with religious stealing; inspiration with manipulation; joy with fear. I am embarrassed to have ever been part of it, but I am also thankful that I can relate to those who are in it and hopeful that I can point them to freedom. Religion does not make a man greater, it makes him weak. It does not make a man wiser, it makes him dull. It does not point to the truth; it keeps us from pursuing the truth. Religion kills our spirit, weakens our mind and steals our freedom.

3. Religion makes no sense

There are so many contradictory and changing doctrines in the church it’s really quite difficult to keep up. In fact it’s impossible to keep up, which is why the average Christian can turn their brains off and just accept everything they hear as truth. If we don’t actually process anything it’s fairly easy to go with the “God knows everything, I’ll just trust him…Keep it simple,” theory. Why is it that we take some scriptures literally (tithe 10%, fellowship regularly, homosexuals are going to hell) and others we pass off as being ‘historical’ or ‘contextual’ (cover your heads, men and women must sit separately in church, don’t eat unclean animals). The reality is that the leadership of the church will justify whatever it suits them to justify and the people will accept whatever justification is fed to them. If the logic is challenged then people resort to the old classics, “Don’t question God!” or “God told me to do it” or “If you spend more time in prayer God will reveal this truth to you” or “You’re not spiritual enough”. Yowzers! Well if that’s the case then full sail ahead – no more questions from me – no-sir-ee sir – whatever you say.

There are elements of macro evolutionary theory that I don’t buy because there’s no substantial evidence. There are also core foundations of religion that are nothing more than elaborate children stories based on imagination with no substantial evidence. Telling me that I should believe that God exists because there’s a story in a book about someone who chatted to God… just doesn’t cut it. Telling me that the world was created in 7 days about 6000 years ago is insane. We may as well believe that Smurfs exist in the centre of the earth – there’s about as much evidence. Telling me that the world was populated by Adam’s kids inbreeding with each other and then that it was all wiped out to start again with four couples and a boatload of animals in Turkey… do you think I’m retarded? Are you really going to try and convince me that an intelligent being called GOD sits in a place we can’t see or find called HEAVEN? And this God who has the power to create everything that exists, is worrying about whether or not I have sex before marriage and drink too much and has an eternal war going on with an entirely evil angel called the DEVIL whom God himself created?! And the irony of it all is that Christians think that their religion is somehow more ‘advanced’ or ‘civilized’ than the pagan religions of old or the Greek pantheon of Olympian Gods who slept and argued with each other. It’s all the same: Hindu, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Baptist, Catholic, and Charismatic – it makes no difference. If you’re in a religion then you’re accepting a bunch of arbitrary rules, doctrines and bedtime stories as ultimate truth; you’re blindly following a group of leaders; and you’re living in fear of hell. On one hand you accept that the earth is round and that the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides, because it can be proven, yet on the other hand you you’re convinced about heaven and hell for which there is no proof, logic or reasonable argument except that someone wrote about it in a book thousands of years ago.

Conclusion

I love people, even religious people. Many of my good friends are religious people and they have no doubt about my positive feelings for them. I hate religion, because it corrupts and weakens and manipulates and controls, but most of all it’s plain rubbish. Yes, there are many religious organisations that do humanitarian work and help feed and clothe and house people – but I believe that the people doing this work would be doing so regardless of their religion because they’re generous and loving people. I believe the world would be a more loving, tolerant, peaceful and happy place if there were no religions at all.

I’ll be posting a lot more on this topic in days to come.

Deon Barnard

After several attempts at creating interesting (if not overcomplicated) web sites to promote my work, passions, ideas and services, I have finally embarked on this blog-style project, simply called deonbarnard.net. As with all things in life I consider my previous online failures “school fees”, and I have great hope and anticipation that this blog will be a great success.

So what’s it all about? Well, it’s about life! It’s about passion. It’s about thinking in a very unfashionable way… positively!!

Before I tell you what I’ve done and been I think I’d better explain my current world view in a nutshell. In that way if you see a job or role I’ve performed you will not immediately jump to conclusions about who I am now. Having said that I believe that you are who you are because of the people you’ve met and the books you’ve read.

So, at this stage in my life I would have to say that my philosophical and spiritual outlook on life is somewhere between Unitarian Universalist and Secular Humanist. In many ways these two ideas are opposed, however, the bottom line is that regardless of my particular point of view at any given point in my life, I don’t think anyone has the actual answers to the really huge questions of life and mankind like… “How did it all start?” and, “What is the purpose of man?” and, “Who is God” etc. Some of us piously claim to know everything… sigh, others genuinely search, but most are happy to accept the going trend of their culture (and religion) and are content to live within those confines, whether they are ultimately true or not. This blog will tackle many of the difficult questions of life in a logical and reasonable manner.

So with that out of the way I’d like to outline my life’s itinerary since school. This will give you an idea of what I have learned and what it is that I do. I will do this with bullets for easy reading:

• Born in Newcastle (Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa) – yes, that makes me an African.
• My father died in 1977. I was five. My sister was three.
• I went to four primary schools in Durban.
• My mother remarried in 1985. I was in grade 7 (Standard 5 for old South Africans).
• I went to Pinetown boys high for a term then moved to Benoni (Gauteng, South Africa).
• I did high school at Wordsworth High in Benoni where I became Head Boy in 1990.
• I achieved drama colours in 1989 and public speaking colours in 1990.
• I broke school and regional athletic records for high jump, 100m hurdles and 3000m walking races.
• I did Judo, wrestling and tumbling for sport (didn’t think much of balls and bats back then).
• I joined a Christian theatre organisation called the Covenant Players from 1991 to 1994. I did theological studies and traveled to 20 countries during that time doing drama for churches, schools, universities and rural communities. I learned an incredible number of skills during that time.
• I returned to South Africa, joined a church staff and did pastoral work, counselling, preaching and teaching from 1994 to 1999. During this time I also taught English and drama at schools.
• I got married in 1996 and have three amazing children: Robyn, Daniel and Stephen.
• I changed careers in 1999 and started to develop my personal training programmes, starting with getting certified as a MOUS AI (Microsoft Office User Specialist Authorised Instructor).
• I then worked as the I.T. Manager of a curriculum provider called School of Tomorrow from 2000 to 2003. During this time I did a lot of motivational speaking at the schools for whom we were providing the curriculum.
• In 2004 I took the bold step to go out on my own and start a training company which I called “ProclaimIT”. Soon afterwards I took over an existing training company called “All Change People Development” and for the next three years I developed and facilitated many soft skill and personal development courses for corporate companies as well as facilitating team building and motivational events.
• I joined a consulting group called Learning Strategies in 2007. This is a symbiotic relationship of consultants of varied skills and expertise who cross sell each other’s services to deliver on large and interesting contracts. I am the training and development arm of Learning Strategies.
• I am no longer married but still enjoy a loving and close connection with my children.

To say that my life has been varied and interesting is a gross understatement. It would be difficult to start listing the things I’ve learned or the people I’ve met in all my adventures – there are just too many – however that is exactly what I am going to attempt to do on this blog. The vast majority of people mulling about on this planet live lives of quiet desperation or intense frustration. Major issues facing us as individuals and communities are: fear, finances, stress, confusion, depression and hopelessness. People want to feel they have purpose but don’t know where to start.

I have trained and counselled thousands of people struggling with these very issues. I will be using this web page to provide insights and advice on how to deal with these issues and other difficult questions. I am hoping to publish two or three articles per week. Let’s see how it goes. Join me on this journey of self discovery and let’s start changing the world one idea at a time!