Deon Barnard

I’m writing this under a tree in a field somewhere between Caledon and Swellendam in the Western Cape of South Africa. It has been some time since I wrote on my blog and I’ve been promising a few articles over the holiday season. I thought I’d start the blogging frenzy off by looking back at 2010 and working out how I feel about the past year of my life.

I was unmarried for the whole of 2010, having finalised my divorce in December 2009. This fact made it a very different and interesting year for me. It has certainly been the least confrontational and most peaceful year I’ve had in over thirteen. It has been a year of consolidation and even recovery in a way. For an entire year I’ve come home to smiles and calm, and looked forward to the sanctity of my castle on the hill… which it almost is, having the best view of Johannesburg possible! I have spent many nights this year looking over the world below and contemplating the mysteries of life with a good scotch and a cigar or pipe, feeling a little like Gandalf or Bilbo Baggins.

The reason for the peace at home is a most wonderful specimen of woman called Heather, who has lived with me in my castle all year. I have never met a more understanding, unflusterable, kind-hearted human in all my life. We talk together, walk together, cook together, read together, dance together, camp together and share pretty much everything without stress or defence or score keeping or the need to control. This alone could make life almost perfect, but there’s more. We’ve actively reawakened our youth together. We’ve visited interesting venues, clubs and restaurants. We’ve read important books. We’ve mixed fantastic cocktails and shooters. We’ve investigated and invested in our sexuality. We’ve made home together. We’ve explored rustic camp sites. We’ve created new gourmet recipes. We’ve nurtured our kids together. We’ve walked away from religion and established a wonderful group of friends together.

This year was also the launch of my blog (the one you’re reading); Rumble in the Pub (a philosophical discussion group that meets in a pub); and Primordial Soup (a podcast of interest to Atheists and Secular Freethinkers). Many of these activities have overflowed onto Facebook or vice versa resulting in a year of passionate debates and discussions on very stimulating topics and holy cows. I’ve been branded a Satanist and a cult leader on several occasions, despite the fact that I’m sure Satan does not exist and I have no ‘followers’ and preach no mysterious ‘doctrine’. I have offended hundreds of people by asking uncomfortable questions about religion and highlighting the scientific improbability of Gods and Pink Unicorns. I have read Dawkins, Harris, Sagan and Hitchens this year and dived wholeheartedly into scientific enquiry and philosophical thought experiment.

This has also been a year for physical recovery. I started the year hardly able to walk. My sciatic nerve was pinched, and combined with poor fitness and the shortest hamstrings in the galaxy, I could only tolerate standing for five minutes at a time. In desperation I visited a Biokineticist for three months, once a week, who stretched my legs and back until at times I felt I would snap in half, until finally I had mobility again. I also started wall climbing which instantly became my favourite sport ever. The combination of stretching and building physical strength has restored me to be able to run and hike and stand and walk for hours and hours again. If there was a God I’d probably thank him… but as it is I’m just extremely pleased J.

On the down side (there’s always a down side), my ex wife moved to Natal with my children. Finances and distance has resulted in me not seeing them nearly as much as I want to. The times I’ve had with them have been special and precious, but I’ve missed out on a bunch of the good stuff, the daily gems of life. There are times when this overwhelms me with sadness and I have to stop myself crying out loud in random public places. I also know that they have a good life, both in Natal with their mom and here with me, and they’re growing into fantastic, and I deeply hope, rational human beings. I’m hoping to remedy the time issue this year, but it will be a challenge.

This has been an enormously busy year with many personal and public events taking place. I helped organise a 20 year matric reunion which was a roaring success in November. South Africa hosted the Fifa world cup football event in July (I attended the France/Mexico game in Polokwane with my boys). I hosted a rocking fancy dress birthday party in November. Heather and I moved into our home on the hill in May. We both started new Jobs early in the year. We went camping in February in Amanzimtoti, and October in Nottingham Road. We hosted a Rumble in the Midlands in December at the same Nottingham Road camp site. And the list goes on and on.

All in all I’d have to call 2010 a watershed year. A year of rebirth and success. A year of writing and reading. A year of friendships and discovery. A year of sex and wonder. A year of food and drink. A year of health and prosperity. If 2011 is even half as good as 2010 I say, “Bring it on!!”

It’s eight in the morning and several strange hominid species including war gamers, comic collectors and sci-fi fanatics start to congregate outside the Jabula Recreation Centre in Sandringham where the spectacle that is Icon has taken place for many years.

The odd human stands in the queue tentatively glancing about at the growing strangeness that surrounds them. Witches, elves and armoured knights high-five each other as they locate their pals from whichever local geek club they happen to belong to. Others sit in random places in the parking lot pouring over their tournament rules and preparing themselves mentally for world domination. A strange looking chap with a bushy beard opens the door and begins to holler out the rules and requirements for entry into the hall among expletives of the generally censored type. Human mothers cover the ears of their not-so-innocent children. The queue begins to move and Icon is officially opened.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about then you’ve never visited the annual fantasy and sci-fi event that is Icon! Every year in July geeks and gamers, fanboys and fairies, wizards and warriors, all gather for a weekend of fantastical fun and gothic goings-on. On entering the main hall you pay your R20 or so and get some cheap, but cool, trinket – like this year’s Superman badge (button if you’re American). A few metres on and you can purchase a branded coffee mug which you can fill with cheap coffee, free of charge, all weekend long to keep up the energy requirements. Across the passage is the Anime theatre where sexy Japanese cartoons play all day featuring huge-eyed girls with perfect bodies and tartan mini skirts… or alternatively sword bearing ninjas and fountains of arterial blood from severed limbs; either way worth a 20 minute detour or two.

On entering the main hall your senses are attacked by the sounds and sights of crowds of fantasy enthusiasts, some in elaborate fancy dress (including the odd tartan miniskirt wearing manga girl), all goggling over the various items being sold by comic and gaming stalls all around the hall. Whether you’re looking for a rubber sword to bash your siblings with, or a unit of plastic soldiers for your collection, or the latest Batman (who is no longer Bruce Wayne because he died and was replaced by Nightwing who is really Dick Grayson who used to be Robin…) comic – you will find it at Icon.

In the side halls and gardens you walk past various gaming tournaments being held for various game systems – Warhammer, 40K, Magic the Gathering, Hordes, Settlers, Role Playing and more. You can’t help but stare at some of the spectacularly painted miniatures and marvel at how focussed everyone is on what they’re doing. Handfuls of dice are being rolled, decks of cards are being dealt and screams of disappointment compete with cries of victory all around you. Outside on the lawn the LARP (Live Action Role Playing) and SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) folk are busy beating the flying phlegm out of each other with swords and similar weapons of reasonable destruction, and as they do, eager crowds gather to witness the spectacle and call out the odd word of encouragement or roar with laughter as the loser clutches his bloody nose.

Of course by now you’re feeling a little peckish so you head to the kitchen to see what’s on the menu and, same procedure as last year James, it is salad rolls (kind of) and pink hot dogs, a favourite of nerds everywhere… well that’s their story and they’re sticking to it. Of course the lady who sells the instant noodles near the entrance makes a killing each year.

So if you haven’t taken a trip to Icon before, do yourself a favour and get there next year July. Whether it’s to buy a gift for your nephew or a graphic novel to prepare for an upcoming DC or Marvel flick, or maybe just to remind yourself how normal you are – you’ll want to be adding this event to your bucket list!

Recent surveys and studies reveal that there are a growing number of Atheists sitting in Christian churches, and even more surprisingly in leadership positions across denominations. This is of course not because Atheists have decided it’s time to go to church, but because Christians are losing faith and remaining in church for various reasons. Here’s an example of such a study by Dan Dennet and co. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_9w8JougLQ&feature=player_embedded.

I propose that this is not a new phenomenon, but rather that times have changed and people are more honest about their positions on surveys. In times past, confessing “I don’t really believe in God anymore” could have you burned at the stake. Today the consequences are not quite as severe – or at least not in most democratic states.

The reasons Atheists remain silent about their unbelief within their communities are varied and valid. I want to go through a few of them and encourage any closet Atheist to take the plunge and protect your sanity and integrity. As an ex pastor myself I can relate to all these fears and therefore do not judge anyone who keeps up appearances for the sake of their families and churches. Here are some of the ideas that closet Atheists war with – some have to do with what they would be giving up by stepping away from religion, and others have to do with misconceptions about what being an Atheist actually means.

1. I will disappoint lots of important people in my life.

Yes you will. If you’ve been a Christian for a long time you will have a network of people, usually including your family, that are secure in the status quo of who you are in religious terms. Most, if not all of those people will be horrified or confused or saddened or angered about your decision. Many will assume that you’re just going through a phase that will pass. They will reprimand you, pray for you, plead with you and possibly even disown you. They can’t accept your choice because accepting it would mean having to question their own faith, and religion by nature censors that line of thought. People you love will be hurt and feel that your choice is a personal criticism of their own faith. You might hear things like, “So what are you saying? Are you saying I’m wrong to believe in Jesus?” Scientific or logical reasoning will often just fuel the emotion of their reaction. If it’s your own family it’s even worse, after all, who wants to disappoint their mom or dad or brother or sister? All of this is exactly why you’re still pretending, and going through the motions. I can’t tell you there is any easy way to do this, but I can say that many others have survived the experience and are living a more honest and free life as a result. In time you will rebuild your circle of friendship and support. You will wake up every day knowing that you’re not being thought-policed and that the universe is a spectacular and beautiful mystery that is slowly being unraveled through a process of rational enquiry. People will get over their disappointment and carry on with their own lives. If you’re lucky you will find others you have know from Christian circles that have walked a similar path – this is always very encouraging, but not guaranteed.

2. I don’t have any other skills. How would I survive financially?

This can be a truly frightening thought! Most people, Atheists and Christians alike, are concerned about financial security. Often the issue here is our indoctrination in the timeline myth, which leads us to believe we need to have a job, a degree, certain experience, etc. to ensure our survival. We almost have the notion that we will surely die without these things. This is a ludicrous thought. Billions survive every day outside of the timeline and have meaningful lives – in fact many of the people I know living on the timeline really struggle to find meaningfulness in the monotony of suburban bliss. I guarantee you that the skills and experience you have developed as a missionary or pastor or counselor etc. are all extremely useful in the secular world and with a little planning and effort and deursettingsvermoe, it won’t be long until you’re able to make a living from them.

3. My reputation will be destroyed and I’ll have to start again.

In the book ‘U2 by U2′ Bono says, “You don’t become a rock star unless you’ve got something missing somewhere, that is obvious to me. If you were sound of mind you could feel normal without 70 000 people a night screaming their love for you.” I could relate to this immediately! In my 20′s I needed crowds of people shouting Amen at me to feel normal – to feel like I was making a difference. Not everyone has this extreme crowd personality, but all of us enjoy our reputations. I have found even those that come across as really humble, enjoy being known as ‘really humble’, and become quite ruffled when something tarnishes that reputation. Among Christians it is very common for people to build reputations that seem morally ‘above reproach’, although I have never met anyone whose life matches that label. Let people think of you what they will. I have discovered over the last few years that being true to myself is far more fulfilling than being true to my reputation. I have also learned to feel normal with a fishing rod alone by a river, without a crowd to be seen.

4. I would be admitting that I’ve wasted many years of my life.

For me, this was the hardest part of my journey to freedom. It’s a lot like a divorce – every now and then an old photo of happy times emerges from a box somewhere and a million mixed emotions wage war in your head and heart. Nobody wants to study 5 years of engineering only to become a human resource manager. We’d all prefer to invest time into the thing that matters – anything else seems like loss. I have come to realize though that nothing that happens to us is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – they’re simply experiences that shape our minds and character and personalities and lead us to the next set of experiences. I wouldn’t be who I am now had I not gone through 14 years of Christian ministry, and why should I think any other version of myself would be a ‘better’ option? So I live in the present and enjoy the now for what it is.

5. I will lose fellowship and be completely alone.

This is a common critique Christians aim at Atheists. I recently saw this graphic and laughed out loud. Half a bean of logic will dismiss this outright, after all, why should religion have the monopoly on relationships? One positive thing I have to say for Christians is that they provide endless gatherings and opportunities to meet people and grow friendships. On the down side however, there is a tendency to only befriend people who agree with everything you say and therefore strengthen dogmatic stances and narrow viewpoints. The other night I joined up with a group called ‘Skeptics in the Pub’ and had an absolute blast. One thing about Skeptics is that they’re prone to disagreeing with just about anything you might have to say, and that is exactly what I enjoyed about the evening (other than the Guinness)! I came away with a whole lot to think about and even a few new friends. What religion you are (or are not) will not determine your ability to make friends – your attitude and participation will. If you’re looking for a free-thinking friend, hook up with me on Facebook, and I’ll introduce you to some others.

6. Without God and church my life will have no meaning.

Ah, this is a biggie! Some of my closest closet Atheist friends are scared to leave faith publically because it seems to them that at that point their lives will cease to have meaning. “But why are we here then?” and “I can’t believe relationships and beauty and memories etc. are for nothing – that it’s all over when we die. There must be something more.” These are the sorts of things I hear in conversation. These questions really need a whole article to address but there are two important things to keep in mind. Firstly, we don’t require a God for life to be meaningful. Relationships and careers and project etc. are meaningful in their own right because we make them meaningful. Why do we need a supernatural reason for something to be important or meaningful? Also, why should something be less important or meaningful because it has an end? Were my teenage romances meaningless because they ended? Certainly not! Secondly, we add value to the lives of future generations by what we do in this one. Sure, we don’t have to care about that, and many don’t, but it adds an enormous amount of meaning to my own life. For me life is full of wonder and purpose and I don’t fear death at all. I was oblivious before I was born and it didn’t inconvenience me at all – why should I be concerned about going back to that state?

I have an enormous amount of sympathy for ‘Christian’ Atheists and Agnostics who quietly plod along in the daily routine of their traditions, who force a smile when someone greets them with “God is Good!” and a lot of teeth, who listen to the blah blah of idiotic sermons week after week, and drag themselves away from an interesting project to go to cell group with their wife who they don’t want to offend. At some point the pain of your prison will have to become greater than the fear of your loss. I hope you find a way to ‘come out’ and be truly yourself!

I’ve been reluctant to write this article primarily because I’m not enthusiastic about wading through a mountain of Christian “we’re praying for you” responses. The reason I write this article about my journey from Christian leadership to atheism is that I’ve had numerous people, mainly Christians, asking me on Facebook, “what happened to you?” or “how did you become so anti?” or something similar – and even though I generally point those people in the direction of my blogs, the truth is you need to read several articles to put the whole picture together; so I’ve decided to put the answer in a single blog so that I can point newcomers here when the question is asked again.

I’ll start by dismissing the first assumption that comes my way, which is that I was ‘hurt’ by someone or some church and therefore rejected God in some kind of emotional tantrum. This did not happen. Sure, there were people within the ministries I was involved in that I didn’t see eye to eye with, but on the whole I enjoyed my time in Christian ministry and enjoyed the people and communities I was involved in. I generally had good relationships with my leaders and was happy to carry out my responsibilities with enthusiasm. If I had disagreements, we talked them out. People did not chase me away from God. If I believed God actually existed I would not be as stupid as to think people were any reflection of his character. So to all you well meaning Christians who are convinced I must have had some sort of “fall out” – sorry to disappoint you.

Some people say I was ‘on fire’ for Jesus! One of the most enthusiastic Christians they ever met. That’s probably true, but not because of the ‘power of God’ or anything supernatural – simply because I’m one of the most enthusiastic ‘anythings’ you’ll ever meet – it’s called personality, and mine is extrovert, charismatic, and crowd oriented. I’d be just as enthusiastic a Muslim if I was one, but I’m not. The level of someone’s enthusiasm or charisma has nothing to do with the truth content of their beliefs. It is precisely because there are a bunch of good communicators in the church that masses of people are led to believe absolute myth. I often feel a great amount of regret for my part in so many people being so ‘sure’ of something so wrong. I also regret the amount of time I wasted on those activities for so many years – but that’s another paragraph.

Like pretty much everyone else in South Africa I was raised Christian. Christened in the Anglican church, confirmed in the Methodist church, baptized in a Pentecostal church and later worked in various denominations around the world as a missionary and pastor/speaker. Like most Christians I never doubted the truth of anything I came to believe – the Bible, the sermons, the teachings etc all became part of the foundation of who I was. Muslims were bad, Hindu’s were mysterious, Atheists were demon possessed and Jews were confused cousins. By age 20 I was set firmly on the path of expanding ‘God’s Kingdom’ to all the poor unbelievers of the ’10/40 window’ and beyond (you’ll have to Google that one). Between mission trips and preaching in the middle of Africa I was doing theological studies and reading the bible, over and over again. Later I moved into local church ministry where I led youth groups, music worship teams, taught Bible studies and preached sermons. I was a Christian fanatic that wanted to save the world for Jesus.

By the age of about 25 something new was happening in me. My youthful, unquestioning, overzealous self started to be replaced by a thinking, tolerant, more observant me. I started developing a distaste for cliché, which Christians are so prone to use when they have nothing intelligent to say. I started realizing that the average Christian really had no idea why what they believed was true, except that it was, and that was that. This was not good enough for me. I thought that maybe a revolution was required in the church to make it more practical and relevant to an emerging post modern society. I started having church services where I would put all the chairs outside or bring in a rock band to liven the place up. I had people communicating with each other in church services and sharing real problems. The congregation in Bakerton grew from 20 people to 120 in a month, but no amount of transforming the physical activities from wooden pews to electric guitars, or bible studies to prophetic healing sessions could help me shake a growing niggle in my conscience that there were some fundamental problems with everything we stood for – primarily the exclusiveness of our beliefs and the idea that God would create billions of souls only to leave the vast majority to the whim of the devil while the Christians enjoyed all sorts of ‘advantages’ in this life and the life to come primarily because they were privileged enough to be born in a Christian country. My faith was fighting with my intellect and losing. I was becoming less and less satisfied to sit around giving the same message every week to Christians and never forming loving bonds with anybody else in the world. For some time I stopped preaching and active ministry involvement, although I remained an elder in the church. During this time I sat quietly and observed. I listened to the stuff we were proclaiming and watched the lives of people. I considered the truth of what we said, and did so rationally and calmly – and as I did, the illusion started to crumble all around me. I prayed frequently during this time for wisdom and clarity.

By 2005 I had stopped ‘paid’ ministry totally and had started what felt to me to be something more genuine and honest – I started corporate training. In that year I moved up to Johannesburg to improve my marketing opportunities and during that time I visited a few churches looking for my new ‘home’ (another cliché). Wherever I went I threw my weight into supporting however I could, but as much as I loved the people I had serious issues with the facts underlying the faith. I couldn’t help but feel that it was all just an incredible waste of time and resources. I was also doing a lot of training for a very broad range of people – Christians, Muslims, Hindu’s, Jews, Agnostics and Atheists and I realized just how little I really understood any of these people. I understood what they ‘believed’ sometimes better than they did, but I had never tried to befriend non-Christians without the hidden agenda of ‘getting them saved’. I realized how frighteningly arrogant Christians can be – at least those that actually do what their scriptures suggest they should do. I also started studying Philosophy and Anthropology, and in a very short time was inspired by the beauty of logical thinking and the integrity of scientific observation, hypothesis and testing, both of which were conspicuously absent in all religions, including my own. By 2007 I had decided that even if Jehovah existed, there was no clear mandate for Sunday services and all the trappings of church life, and decided to stop looking for a local church to be part of. Shortly after that I entered an agnostic phase, because intellectually, logically, and scientifically, I simply couldn’t see how any of the facts presented by Christianity could be true – but at the same time I was reluctant to give up the faith that had consumed a large part of my life and had come to define me.

In 2009 I woke up one morning and realized that I couldn’t stay satisfied with a state of agnosticism in light of the evidence against the world’s religions. The probability that a ‘God’ exists is small, but that any of the specific ‘Gods’ of our known religions (Jesus/Allah/Ja etc) could exist as laid out in the traditions is almost nonexistent. I realized in a moment of terror and relief that I no longer believed in any God at all and that non-belief would forever change the way that I related to the thousands of people who knew the ‘radical Christian’ version of me. All my reasoning and arguments are laid out in my other articles on Religion, so I won’t cover them here.

My period of ‘Agnosticism’ was the hardest time of my life. Everything I was, everything I’d done, had been defined in Christian terms, and suddenly it just wasn’t so clear anymore. I wept many tears during that time and felt a great sense of loss. I knew I would lose friends, many friends, as well as social recognition. The other problem was that ‘Church’ was what I did best and now I would have to reinvent myself, or more accurately, rediscover myself; but at the same time there was a part of me that was evolving and growing up and becoming free – for this I was excited. As the scales of superstition and dogma began to fall away, I kept going over my entire life again and again with new understanding of what was really happening in those times when I thought I was having ‘spiritual experiences’ or seeing ‘miracles’ etc. I have also come to realize what an incredible sense of guilt and worthlessness Christians walk around with and cover these feelings up with clichés about being weak in self but strong in Christ; and how much time and resource is wasted on meaningless activities. When I was a Christian I just couldn’t see any of this because we all just hid behind a language and semantic that kept us all in check.

It is hard to describe just how free and empowered I feel since throwing off religion. There are no ghosts, no Gods, no spirits – nothing that cannot be explained. There are elements, and energy and light and other measurable forces all doing an amazing dance in a mind-shatteringly large and beautiful universe. We are a young and evolved species of mammals that individually have precious little time, only about 80 years so, to add benefit and happiness for future generations as they evolve into greater creatures. For their sakes I hope we realize the folly of war and religion and mysticism and tyranny, and turn our eyes to the stars and peace and longevity and science and reason, before we become the cause of our own extinction.

There’s a cheesy but true cliché that goes, “If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will”. I have spent my entire life overcoming my inadequacies with self belief. Growing up as a child I had really bad acne – the kind that had other kids making jokes about the first moon on the man. I also had rounded shoulders from a scoliosis of the spine, snowy dandruff, no detectable biceps and I really sucked at ball sports like soccer, cricket and rugby, which had me aimlessly running around the field, missing passes and goals. I was always delighted when I got a glancing touch on the ball – even if I was just an obstacle in the way of a cannon-like boot from a team mate.

Despite all this I believed in myself – not in a spiritual, ‘God is on my side’ kind of way, but rather in a mathematical probability kind of way – the kind of way that had me reasoning that if I tried enough things I would finally find something I could do ‘better than average’. I ‘evolved’ through a process not too dissimilar to Darwin’s ‘Natural Selection’ whereby I gave up on the things I was clearly destined to fail at and applied more energy to the things I showed some promise for. In this process of elimination which probably started in about grade 4, I tried my hand at everything! I tried every track and field event that existed and found that although I sprinted about as fast as a giraffe running on well oiled ice, my long legs were a great advantage for hurdles, high jump, the 1500m run and the 3000m walking race for which I won a few Johannesburg boys records. I tried my hand at tumbling, ballet, choir, debating, drama, speech, rugby, soccer, cricket, chess, math & science contests, art contest and other activities – many of which I suffered humiliating failure at.

During this time of trial and error, and several embarrassing blunders I’d rather not remember, I was also finding myself, and realizing that my set of skills was unique, and that I didn’t need to be like anyone else or impress anyone else with something I was never going to be impressive with. I started to get a sense of my strengths and weaknesses and realized that I would have to use the weapons at my disposal to achieve success in my own life and not try and shoot with someone else’s gun. Today I consult… and train… and speak… and design… and cook and hundreds of other things because I still try everything in my quest to uncover all the hidden weapons in my arsenal. For everything I find I’m good at, there are five other things I suck at first – but if I don’t try I’ll never know.

I know that many people reading this article allow low self esteem to railroad their success and discovery. For you every failure is just another ‘sign’ to give up and throw in the towel. Some people are looking for anything that will back up their opinion that they’re a failure. In my journey I have learned a few things about life I’d like to share in simple terms – I hope something speaks to you:

• If you don’t believe in yourself – no one else will – really!!!
• Most people give up just before they’re about to break through.
• Everyone is the best in the world at something.
• You can do anything – you just haven’t learned how yet.
• It’s OK to have enemies. If everyone likes you, something’s wrong.
• Help other people become great and your success will follow.
• Don’t EVER be scared to ask questions. Pretending to be clever is really dumb.
• Don’t rate your successes and failures by other people’s standards. You have to live your life – not them!
• Don’t tolerate people talking down to you or dismissing your potential. Stand up for yourself.
• Don’t live other people’s dreams – live your own.
• Don’t get freaked out when people tease or ridicule you about your inadequacies, it’s just their own self hatred manifesting. Don’t ever tease other people in this way – you’re poisoning yourself.
• Try everything once before you say you can’t or that you don’t ‘like’ it.
• Understand your limitations. Maximize your strengths.
• When you fail, get over it!!! Get up, and get going again.

We all have vivid memories of certain movies we watched as children. These movies moved us – provoked us – scared us – amazed us! In many ways these movies shaped us, and gave us clues about what we wanted to do when we grew up and what our tastes were. I quickly fell in love with the fantasy genre and all things wizard, sword and warrior – although cinema technology in those days couldn’t always do justice to the ideas. I remember finding ‘Westerns’ boring, but ‘Eastern’ kung fu movies were awesome!! So here are a few movies that had an enormous impact on me growing up. Many of these I have watched well over twenty times and I still consider them some of the best movies ever made. If you missed any of these movies, do yourself a favour and track them down and give them a watch.

Enter the Dragon – Robert Clouse (1973… of course I didn’t watch it then!)

Bruce Lee kicking ass in his own special way! Every time I saw a Bruce Lee movie I became a raving kung fu master for a few hours and practiced my technique on my sister.

Pete’s Dragon – Don Chaffey (1977)

One of Disney’s first full length features with real actors interacting with animated characters. The dragon was seriously cool and cute.

Wizards – Ralph Bakshi (1977)

This movie blew my mind!! It’s a seriously weird and dark futuristic fantasy with strange animation, negative photo effects and a fascinating story. A must see!

Superman (the movie) – Richard Donner (1978)

The one that started them all! Christopher Reeves will always be the only Superman to me. I’ve wanted to be superman ever since. I used to love collecting the superman stickers off the Pepsi bottles.

The Dark Crystal – Jim Henson (1982)

One of my top 5 movies of all time. An epic fantasy adventure done entirely with puppets and robotics (not muppets). The story was fantastic and the production was ahead of its time.

Tron – Steven Lisberger (1982)

The first sci-fi I really enjoyed. People get sucked into the ‘internet’ and end up fighting sentient viruses that look like badly dressed people with killer frizbees… OK, so you need to see it to understand it. This had some ‘Matrix’ concepts long before the Matrix.

The NeverEnding Story – Wolfgang Petersen (1984)

Who didn’t love this movie?! A classic fantasy tale with one of the most memorable theme songs ever (after Rocky’s “Eye of the Tiger”).

Labyrinth – Jim Henson (1986)

OK, so Jim Henson rules!! Another masterpiece with puppets and actors in the form of David Bowie and (sigh) Jennifer Connelly in her first major role. This also has my favourite soundtrack ever – performed by David Bowie.

Willow – Ron Howard (1988)

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love this movie, starring Val Kilmer in one of his best performances ever, this movie has everything: love potions-action-adventure-wizards-swords-comedy-short people-even shorter people-trolls… you name it.

Please send your list and share your memories!

I always find it amusing when I hear people use the phrase ‘There’s nothing worse than…’ when I can usually think of 10 things worse than what they’re suggesting in an instant, for instance: sardine milkshakes. This led me to thinking, what are those things for which I myself might use the phrase ‘There’s nothing worse than…’ and the following came to mind:

1.    People who simply don’t pitch when they’ve made a commitment to attend something. They don’t call, they don’t apologize and they don’t care who they let down.

2.    People who are determined to be fashionably late for everything. If a show starts at 6PM they start getting ready to leave at 6PM. The first half an hour of any event is clearly an unimportant formality that does not require the dignity of their presence.

3.    Parents who call their children ‘Christian’ or ‘Muslim’ or ‘Hindu’. As though any child of age 5 or 7 or even 11 could conceivably contemplate all their options and make a rational, informed decision about their religious views while being brought up to fear and distrust any point of view other than that of their parents. This type of religious brainwashing and morbid indoctrination by parents should be outlawed in society as a crime against freedom of thought and human rights.

4.     Back pain! It really sucks.

5.    Dentists. Who are these creatures in white robes that insist on drilling against nerves that lead straight behind your eyes into your brain with such explosions of acute pain that your nightmares pale in comparison. On top of that they insist that you lie on the most uncomfortably designed horizontal chair known to man, for an hour, with intense light shining in your eyes, after which you need a chiropractor to sort out your spine. Your jaw and lips are tugged at and extended to the extent that you have bruises and a strange clicking in your jaw the first time you try and eat anything. It brings back a line from the musical score of little shop of horrors: ‘You’ll be a dentist. You have a talent for causing things pain! Son, be a dentist. People will pay you to be inhumane!’

6.    Poor customer service. I think particularly of those receptionists who can’t even be bothered to hold eye contact as they bark out one word answers to your questions and make it very clear that you’re wasting their valuable Tetris time.

7.    Tasteless cooking. Turning dull, tasteless food into something worth eating often takes nothing more than a suggestion of an imagination, a sprinkle of herbs, or a dash of soy sauce. I cannot understand why people settle for the mundane in this area of our lives that consumes so much of our time and which has the power to add such joy and adventure to each day.

8.    Teasing repartee and hurtful banter. I often sit in amazement as I watch one or two of my friends or guests pick up on a few vulnerabilities in someone in the group and then spend the rest of the evening honing in on those weaknesses with great jest and laughter and seemingly not able to stop themselves until the victim is utterly exhausted or brought to tears. The fact that these wolves see this as some kind of social victory is even more bewildering. Of course, these same people have no ability to withstand even a portion of what they dish out and ultimately show themselves to be the cowardly schoolyard bullies that they are.

9.    Grand prix. Sorry I just don’t get it. Hour after hour of cars going round in circles. I have similar feelings about cricket and golf which are, in my view, just male excuses for spending less time with the family.

I’d love to hear some of your ‘There’s nothing worse than’ ideas.

When you write an article entitled “Why Religion should be opposed”, and you know that almost your entire audience is religious, you know that you’re going to get a few responses. I started replying to these responses individually but, realizing that many of them were similar in form, I thought it best to write a reply article dealing with each ‘type’ of response with a paragraph so that we can formalize the conversation and avoid repetition.

Yesterday I had more visitors on my site than I’ve ever had before, and almost all to the article in question. I find it amazing that you can write challenging articles about sex, love, relationships, parenting etc and no one takes personal offence, but mess with someone’s religion and all ‘hell’ breaks loose, which is exactly the nature of religion, and why I oppose it. Thank you to everyone who has read my article – you were not so closed minded that you applied the “Thou shalt not read articles written by vile heathen” philosophy. Thank you to all those who shared an opinion and responded in some way – please share your thoughts on my other articles too.

I am now going to speak to each ‘type’ of response I received. I have no doubt that I will offend people all over again with this, but fortunately I’m not one of those Methodist-don’t-rock-the-boat-keep-your-opinions-to-yourself kinds of people who care about the word ‘offend’. “You offended me!” is not an argument in itself. If you wrote to me then you will find your reply in these words somewhere.

To the people who responded without taking the trouble to actually read the article

I was tempted to just copy and paste your thoughtless text with references following every unintelligent sentence saying “see paragraph 2″ or “did you skip paragraph 4?!” but I won’t. Feel free to read the article again, actually understanding the words I carefully strung together and then feel free to write an intelligent response.

To the bible bashers

These are the people who insist on using circular logic or Circulus in Probando, arguing that the Bible says that God exists, and the Bible is always right (because it was inspired by God), so God must exist. The problem with this is that the premises are circular in nature because each premise assumes the validity of the other. I have read the bible many times end to end, not to mention an equivalent number of times via piecemeal reading of scripture as required for sermons, devotions etc. There was a time I simply ‘believed’ that it was all true because (and please don’t skip over this): I was born and brought up in a Christian society; I was scared of hell and offending God; I was convinced by everyone around me that belief was better than intellect; I had a notion (because of conditioning) that to question the Bible’s absolute truth and perfection was ‘blasphemous’ and ‘rebellious’ (manipulative words used by religion to control). Bible bashers interpret scripture as it suits them for any particular cause or going church trend. 1000 years ago the scripture about women needing to cover their heads was taken very literally, but today most Christians choose to apply some rational thought to the subject, yet these same Christians will use other scriptures very literally when it suits them to do so. This also changes from congregation to congregation and denomination to denomination – so who makes the rules? Who’s interpretational methods are correct? It stands to reason that if one of them were ‘correct’ in the eyes of God then all the others would be wrong – if not, then God and all his followers are confused and God is not perfect. Telling me that something is true because the Bible says so is a fallacial argument. Feel free however to quote a particular argument, found in the Bible, that appeals to some sense of reason or logic and I’ll consider it with as much respect as anything Einstein or Hitchens has to say. So far I have had nothing like this. C’mon Christians!! You can do better than that. I myself could put forward some valid biblical arguments – I offer an open invitation to reasonable debate.

To those who have ‘personal experiences’ with God    

These are the people who claimed they had ‘heard’ from God personally or had an ‘experience’ somehow involving God. This is probably the most difficult response to respond to. I remember (with a cold chill) the days of being an assistant pastor in a charismatic church in Benoni, times when we (the elders) would get together to discuss something, and in the middle of heated debate the senior pastor would say something like, “God told me we have to do it so let’s get started.” Well, who could argue with that? If God said it, who are we to question it? The result being that anything this particular man wanted, happened. You can’t argue with someone who has God in their corner. I could just as easily say, “I saw a unicorn at the bottom of my garden this morning – prove me wrong!” You know I am wrong because you know there are no unicorns, because if there were unicorns we’d have photos of them, and their discovery would be published in every newspaper in the world with probably a specimen in The Hague for testing and so forth. In this you use reason, so you would roll your eyes and say, “I’m sure you thought you saw a unicorn…” and pat me on the back condescendingly. So my response to you is, “I’m sure you thought you heard God – pity you don’t have any evidence (pat pat). If I were to believe all the ‘personal testimonies’ of people who claim God did something ‘good’ for them I’d also have to believe the suicide bombers of 9/11′s claims that God instructed them in their mission, or all the people who claim to have been abducted by aliens somewhere in the Midwest of the USA. You yourselves use rational thinking in all areas except this! I have, many times, wished that I could walk through my closet and end up in Narnia, but no amount of staring at the closet is going to help me understand the truth of my world. There are coats in the closet. Santa does not exist. God does not exist.

To the condescending self righteous

Ah, my favourite group! I wish there were fish like you in the water the last five times I went unsuccessfully fishing in dams and rivers around South Africa. The damn fish just stare at my bait and never bite. You however, are the most predictable and toothache inducing group of the lot. The people I refer to here are those who don’t bother showing my articles an ounce of respect by responding to the propositions put forward, but instead choose to take the: “you’re sick and in need of help from someone like me” approach. I refer to statements like, “Are you free my friend?” or “…but are you happy?” or “you are clearly speaking out of a place of hurt…” Spare me your noxious, patronizing, dripping, putrid self righteousness and amateur psycho-analysis! I pity you for needing to feel accepted or acceptable in society above truth; and thinking that anyone who doesn’t share your view must be somehow broken, un-whole or lost. Read my article on being a Salmon vs. a Sheep. Let me say this once, and never again: I am free! I am happy! I am fulfilled! I am not lonely! I am all these things more than I have ever been and that is precisely why I share my life with the world online. I’d gladly accept loneliness and suffering over oppression and mysticism any day, and if I was unhappy or lonely it would have nothing to do with you anyway – but that is not my fate – so respond to apples with apples and stop throwing lemons at me.

To the fence sitters

In some ways, this group irks me the most. These are the people who respond with paragraphs about how they believe in everything and nothing at all. My article is as much an argument against faith as it is against religion. People who say, “I agree with you that religion is wrong, but I still believe that a god or gods or some spiritual entity exists…” are religious, plain and simple. To sit on the fence is to avoid confrontation with society without having to conform particularly. It is at best a spineless agnosticism and at worst, closet atheism. Get out of the closet! You either believe, which requires the suppression of your reasoning; or you reason, and therefore have no need of faith. I don’t have to sit and philosophically ponder the weight, colour, acidity or molecular structure of an apple because the knowledge is already revealed through scientific means. All I need do is pick up a few books on the matter and the evidence presented simply removes any need for faith, or confusion about the apple. Sure, there are things we’re only beginning to understand in the realms of sub-atomic and quantum physics, but the key word is ‘understand’ – we’re not seeking to ‘believe’, we’re seeking to understand! We KNOW how the Earth was formed – we don’t need to BELIEVE some ancient myth about 7 days, or turtles holding up a flat earth etc. I have to confess that in my journey (like a pendulum swing) from belief to reasoning, I took a short stop at universalism and agnosticism, but only a short one – my mind could never be satisfied with believing in belief, or believing that anything was ‘unknowable’. Join me on the other side – it’s incredibly liberating!

To those who engaged in enlightened conversation!

You were a breath of fresh air!! These were the Christians, Muslims and Atheists who responded to my propositions with reasonable counter arguments – who did not ‘hide’ behind “God exists and that’s all there is to it” – but instead, spent a little time thinking about their position and responding with facts and sound reasoning, with respect for the subject. Although our views may be a universe apart, I welcome your comments and hope to engage with many more of you out there in the virtual universe.

This article has been a long time in coming and is the result of many hours of internal struggle, research, comparison and discussion. Four years ago I physically left the church – about four years before that I was already putting aside faith for reason. During these last four years I have tried not to categorize my religious views with any labels, partly because I needed to assimilate the full depth of understanding what terms like ‘Atheist’ actually meant and partly because I still carried an aversion, implanted by the system, to many of these labels – after all, I had always thought that being an Atheist was synonymous with being allied with Satan (as do most religious folk) – and when you’ve been led to believe your whole life that something is “bad” it’s pretty hard to throw off that conviction. Until now I’ve stuck with the safe categorization of “Agnostic” (someone who doesn’t believe there is enough evidence to prove the existence of God), and I took the safe and simple approach of, “you worry about your life and I’ll worry about mine”, i.e.: Let’s agree to disagree – or – You go ahead and do your religious thing and leave me in peace. I no longer hold this view. I will now actively oppose religion and am relieved to be able to call myself an Atheist, or Anti-Theist. I will discuss why this approach is necessary after I give a better understanding of a few terms and concepts that will help readers digest what I am saying.

Let’s start with defining the terms Theist, Atheist, Agnostic and Faith.

• A Theist is someone who believes in a god or gods, i.e. God exists in reality.
• An Atheist is someone who does not believe that a god or gods exists, i.e. God is not real and does not exist.
• An Agnostic is someone who thinks that God cannot be proven or that we cannot know God, i.e. there is no evidence for God.
• Faith is the act of believing without any requirement for evidence or proof. With evidence or proof there is no need for Faith because we have Knowledge – so Faith can be substituted for Knowledge in the absence of evidence.

It is not uncommon for people to be Agnostic-Theists, i.e. someone who doesn’t really claim to be able to prove God but believes in God anyway for reasons other than evidence and faith. It also makes sense that you could be an Agnostic-Atheist, i.e. someone who does not believe in God because of the lack of evidence. In all my travels and dealings with Christians and other religious people around the world I have noticed two main distinctions; I will call them True-Theists (Believers) and Agnostic-Theists (Religious by convenience). My opinion is that the majority (more than half) of all Christians are Agnostic-Theists rather than True-Theists. These are people who attend church and adhere to all the trappings of their religion because of the personal benefits like: a sense of belonging; acceptance; acceptability; community support, comfort, friendship, financial aid, status, opportunities etc. – all good attributes of the church, but none of which make it true, or right. These people don’t really believe that all Earthly languages originated from the tower of Babel; or that every species of animal lived in walking distance from Noah’s house; or that Daniel really stayed overnight in a pit of wild, untamed and hungry Lions and survived – in fact they don’t really think much about God at all; they simply choose to adopt the mantle of Christian because it’s working for them, and being anything else would damage their reputations, relationships and other aspects of their lives. If you’re one of these people, this article is for you! On the upside you already think rationally and suspect that everything you stand for is based on mythology and superstition – on the downside you think that all the good stuff about church adds enormous value to your life and is irreplaceable – hopefully I can convince you otherwise.

To the other group, the True-Theists, there is little I can do to change your minds, mainly because you’re not using your minds. No amount of evidence or science or history will convince you that your belief is misplaced. You believe through sheer blind faith, (faith is blind by definition), that: there is an invisible being in a place called Heaven; which we can’t see or find until we die; who has declared you sinful from birth; and will throw you into hell if you don’t acknowledge him unquestioningly; and yet who loves you “unconditionally”; and who is somehow influenced by your particular choice of words in prayer; who allows confusion and faithlessness and hunger and disaster on the Earth for reasons you don’t fully understand; and who cares who you have sex with and how; and who judges your sin even in your mind and while you sleep; and “came to earth” on an arbitrary day in history to a dry Roman province via a virgin, so that in dying, somehow getting to heaven would be easier than it was before… hmmm.

I was a believer for many years – passionate about my Faith, as I am passionate about everything I do. I remember ridiculing Jehovah’s Witnesses for being closed minded and not open to rational conversation – armed with their nonsensical “proofs” from their nonsensical “Bible”. I now understand that I was exactly the same! Think about it; if I were to ask the average believer what would convince them that God does not exist, they would say, “Nothing! I’ll never stop believing.” and yet they have the cheek to call Atheists stubborn and closed-minded, when in fact most Atheists could easily give a list of things that would make them convert on the spot if they were to occur. I’ll write another article on this point. I can only hope you come to your senses before you’ve wasted your whole life avoiding the freedom of truth and causing further carnage in the world… which brings me to the crux of this article – why religion should be opposed.

I’m speaking again to those that feel, “Why do Atheists get so hung up about people’s religious choices? Just live and let live. Some well meaning person who attends church every Sunday and gives to the poor isn’t hurting anyone, so let them follow their religion of choice!” This is a view I have shared for some time but I have come to realize that it is naïve and irresponsible to think this way. Religious belief on a micro scale (if it were confined to a handful of people on a deserted Island) may not have any great negative impact on the world other than the personal self deception involved, but we don’t all live on our own island – each individual believer supports a system of control and manipulation which, on a macro scale, becomes an extremely negative force in the World. Let’s look at a few simple examples:

A kind-hearted and conscientious Muslim man goes to Mosque and says his prayers as required. He never hurts anyone and always gives to the poor and supports his local Islamic initiatives, believing that he is pleasing God in doing so. Him and millions of others feed energy and finances into a system which advocates violence and the killing of infidels in its core scriptures; and although they are not personally involved in such matters and prefer to interpret their scriptures more figuratively; their church is involved in a holy war against Christians which results in flying jet planes into civilian buildings in New York killing thousands. Is our man innocent in this? Can he claim that he had nothing to do with it? All this for a myth of a myth that doesn’t exist.

A devout German Christian believes in a loving god in heaven and wants to please him. He has come to understand that to please god you have to please your leaders in Christ. He loves his God and his country and is willing to defend both from any unbeliever that would dare challenge the status quo. The new leader of his country, Adolf Hitler, a man of passion and faith has inspired him to join the army to do just that. He comes to realize that Germany is a holy nation surrounded by unclean nations that must be brought into the fold and tamed. He says goodbye to his wife and kids who he loves dearly to go and do his duty for God and country in the concentration camps where they are making sure that the evil influence of Jews and other unclean races is controlled and quelled. He knows that he will be rewarded for his loyalty in the afterlife if not in this life. He is a “good” man. The kind of “good” man you see in churches everywhere.

Religions on a macro scale (which are the accumulation of millions of individuals believing), have been responsible for:

• Countless wars, including the Muslim/Christian Crusades; the Catholic/Protestant wars of Ireland, the U.K., France, Sweden and Poland; the Taiping rebellion in China; Islamic violence in the name of Jihad; the Muslim/Hindu wars of India; the Buddhist/Tamil war in Sri Lanka; the countless wars between the Jews and everyone else; and the list goes on ad nauseum.
• Religious genocide in Europe (Jews), Rwanda, Bosnia, Iraq, U.S.S.R and many other places.
• The repression of women everywhere.
• Resisting (often violently) scientific progress, as well as the persecution of great thinkers for thousands of years.
• Witch hunts and inquisitions resulting in the torture and deaths of thousands of innocent people in Europe.
• The dilution of quality education in schools everywhere to make space for meaningless religious activities that promote mysticism and superstition instead of enlightenment and human solidarity.
• Human sacrifice, slavery and mutilation such as female circumcisions in initiation ceremonies.
• The distortion of historical facts and our place in the universe.

… to name a few!

So you still think religions are good for the world? Or maybe you think that your happy clappy Christian church feeds the poor and teaches people how to be good citizens, so you have nothing to do with the above list? Well here’s a news break – if all that carnage above didn’t exist, neither would your church; and if all your churches didn’t exist, neither would the carnage on the list. Christopher Hitchens is right when he says, “Religion poisons everything”. It’s time for humanity to wake up, throw off the ancient myths of our infancy and grow into the evolved, awake and conscious species that we can be. If we direct the energy and resources that we currently use to maintain our meaningless religious structures and use them for science and progress we could be travelling to the stars in our lifetime. Every good thing you’re doing in your churches in the name of “God” can be done without needing to believe in nonsense at the same time. “But what about fellowship and belonging” you ask? Well join a gym; a golf club; a neighborhood board game group… whatever – there are a million ways to make friends with people who share interests in the real world instead of a shared belief in an invisible friend in the sky.

I look forward to your comments and abuse.

An ATKV resort for those who might not know is a holiday, caravan, camping venue run by the Afrikaanse Taal en Kultuur Vereniging, and for those who need further translation that is the Afrikaans Language and Culture Association. I recently took my three kids on a 5 day camping trip to one of these resorts in the Limpopo province of South Africa. This was not my first time at an ATKV and every time I visit one I’m always very impressed, and at the same time amazed, and entertained, and educated in some of the finer points of one of South Africa’s incredible cultures. So let me explain.

On arriving, the first thing you notice about the place is that it is efficiently and professionally run by a crew of well groomed white Afrikaans females who are all exceptionally polite, and white, and Afrikaans. After receiving my elaborate gate pass which was not far off my Facebook profile I meandered my way down the scenic drive towards the camping sites, past the golf course which seemed to be kept well trimmed by a random herd of Zebra which casually strolled among the competing golf-foursomes who were evidently mostly a father with three sons hacking their way around the course (more than I can achieve by the way).

As we drove onto our clearly marked site among a throng of other campers and caravaners, six black (well actually chocolate brown) attendants clad in reflective bibs surrounded the car. Coming from Jo’burg I thought we were either being hijacked or attacked by a bunch of overeager car guards – I was wrong on both accounts. The attendants promptly opened our trailer and proceeded to erect our two large tents and canopy in about five minutes – a job that would have taken me and the kids two hours – so I handed them R40 not knowing quite what was appropriate and they disappeared into the resort to assist elsewhere. So, having budgeted the remainder of the day for setting up camp we were now free to do something else and decided to try out the pools. We all got into swimming costumes and walked up the central road past friendly campers who without fail would call out “Middag!” which translates to “Middleoftheday!” or more meaningfully “Good Afternoon!” My very English kids quickly realized that their ‘C’ grades in Afrikaans this year at school counted for nothing here and kept asking, “What language are they speaking dad?” and, “What are they saying?” and, “Where are all the English people?”

And it wasn’t just the language that was unfamiliar, it was everything! The way they dressed, the music they listened to, the way they interacted and the way they ate and drank. One thing Afrikaaners do really well, in fact better than anyone else in the world, is braai (barbeque) – the Americans and Australians have nothing on these guys! Around the pool, at the tents, at any time of the day or night, you could find any number of these folk standing around a fire and cooking perfect pork chops, chicken drumsticks and miles and miles of boerewors. Many of the young men liked to remain topless at all times, flaunting six-packs (or as Robyn observed, occasionally eight-packs or just one…pack) – the middle aged men wearing what seems to be the eternal fashion of the two-tone khaki farmer shirt. Another never dying love of the Afrikaaner it would seem is Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” which could be heard being played somewhere on camp at almost any time.

Another phenomenon of Afrikaans camping culture is how much stuff they bring. My camping style is minimalistic and rustic – just pitch a tent in the bush somewhere and survive off the land, possibly my Boy Scout training coming out. This is NOT how Afrikaaners camp! At least half the caravans and even some of the tent sites had portable satellite dishes – heaven forbid someone miss 7nde Laan or the latest rugby fixture. Gadgets and appliances ranged from large water coolers and hectic sound systems to microwave ovens and electric bug zappers which turn innocent insects into molecular powder by a zillion volt lightning bolt… or something of that nature. These people just move their home into the country for a few weeks – maybe a throwback to the days of the ‘Groot Trek’. One particular tent must have brought R3000 worth of Christmas lights with them which they wrapped all over their caravan, tent, car and the nearest tree and which flashed all night like a beacon in the dark with a sign that said “Santa stops here”.

The most memorable part of camping among the Afrikaaners however is not their strange tastes in clothing, food or music, but their community spirit and generous neighborliness. They are always smiling and conversational and a night around the braai will have you in stitches laughing at their dry, tactile and descriptive stories and jokes. What continually blows me away is how eight Afrikaaners will all switch to English (of a sort) for the sake of one Englishman who can’t speak their language, and they will do it with grace. If you’re thinking of visiting SA or have lived in SA in one of the other thirteen cultures all your life I can heartily suggest visiting an ATKV for a few days of authentic South African culture.