Deon Barnard

Note from the author: Please don’t read this without reading my previous two articles “Why religion should be opposed” and “Response to why religion should be opposed”.

You recently posted an article called ‘Does Santa exist?’ What a dumb question!! What a dumb article. I did not enjoy your disrespectful tone.  Anyone who doesn’t believe that Santa exists is either psychologically imbalanced or simply refusing to hear the soft loving voice of Santa in their hearts.

I don’t just believe he exists, I KNOW he exists! Here’s why:

• My parents introduced me to Santa at a young age. If he’s good enough for them he’s good enough for me.
• Two Billion other people believe in Santa. They can’t ALL be wrong!
• There are thousands of books written about him. That’s tangible proof!
• Everyone knows that Santa rewards those who have been good (it is written), and one year I wasn’t so good and I didn’t get such an expensive present that year – so how do you explain that? Huh?!
• Santa has physically been to my house. I know that because I put cookies out for him one night and the next morning they were gone. Santa ate them. He loves cookies. Cookies can’t just disappear on their own can they?
• If there was no Santa, there would be no Christmas. Someone had to have started Christmas.
• I think you’ve been hurt. You’ve obviously had a bad experience around the Christmas table, but you need to understand that your family might let you down, but Santa will never let you down. Just write to him again this year and you’ll see, he’ll hear you and answer your letters.
• You have no right to question his existence. You shouldn’t even be posting such stupid, misleading stuff!!! I am so angry!!!!! Who do you think you are!!!
• I might not have all the answers, but let me ask you something personally… are you happy?!
• What would the world be without Santa or Christmas? I’ll tell you what December would look like… full of sadness and violence and immorality. Is that what you want?
• Santa knows when you are sleeping and knows when you’re awake… so you’d better watch out… because Santa Clause is coming back… to town. Will you be ready when he comes?
• You can’t prove that Santa DOESN’T exist! Have you ever personally BEEN to the north pole?
• You say you can’t see him, but just look around, he’s everywhere! You can see him in the snow-covered pine trees, you can hear his voice in the carols by candlelight, you can taste his essence in Christmas pudding.
• Just because the shops have commercialized Christmas and forgotten what it’s all about doesn’t mean that you have to throw the baby out with the bath water. Santa is not his followers.

If all these things don’t convince you that Santa exists then you’re clearly just being stubborn and contrary. Just be warned, your unbelief will have consequences!!

When you write an article entitled “Why Religion should be opposed”, and you know that almost your entire audience is religious, you know that you’re going to get a few responses. I started replying to these responses individually but, realizing that many of them were similar in form, I thought it best to write a reply article dealing with each ‘type’ of response with a paragraph so that we can formalize the conversation and avoid repetition.

Yesterday I had more visitors on my site than I’ve ever had before, and almost all to the article in question. I find it amazing that you can write challenging articles about sex, love, relationships, parenting etc and no one takes personal offence, but mess with someone’s religion and all ‘hell’ breaks loose, which is exactly the nature of religion, and why I oppose it. Thank you to everyone who has read my article – you were not so closed minded that you applied the “Thou shalt not read articles written by vile heathen” philosophy. Thank you to all those who shared an opinion and responded in some way – please share your thoughts on my other articles too.

I am now going to speak to each ‘type’ of response I received. I have no doubt that I will offend people all over again with this, but fortunately I’m not one of those Methodist-don’t-rock-the-boat-keep-your-opinions-to-yourself kinds of people who care about the word ‘offend’. “You offended me!” is not an argument in itself. If you wrote to me then you will find your reply in these words somewhere.

To the people who responded without taking the trouble to actually read the article

I was tempted to just copy and paste your thoughtless text with references following every unintelligent sentence saying “see paragraph 2″ or “did you skip paragraph 4?!” but I won’t. Feel free to read the article again, actually understanding the words I carefully strung together and then feel free to write an intelligent response.

To the bible bashers

These are the people who insist on using circular logic or Circulus in Probando, arguing that the Bible says that God exists, and the Bible is always right (because it was inspired by God), so God must exist. The problem with this is that the premises are circular in nature because each premise assumes the validity of the other. I have read the bible many times end to end, not to mention an equivalent number of times via piecemeal reading of scripture as required for sermons, devotions etc. There was a time I simply ‘believed’ that it was all true because (and please don’t skip over this): I was born and brought up in a Christian society; I was scared of hell and offending God; I was convinced by everyone around me that belief was better than intellect; I had a notion (because of conditioning) that to question the Bible’s absolute truth and perfection was ‘blasphemous’ and ‘rebellious’ (manipulative words used by religion to control). Bible bashers interpret scripture as it suits them for any particular cause or going church trend. 1000 years ago the scripture about women needing to cover their heads was taken very literally, but today most Christians choose to apply some rational thought to the subject, yet these same Christians will use other scriptures very literally when it suits them to do so. This also changes from congregation to congregation and denomination to denomination – so who makes the rules? Who’s interpretational methods are correct? It stands to reason that if one of them were ‘correct’ in the eyes of God then all the others would be wrong – if not, then God and all his followers are confused and God is not perfect. Telling me that something is true because the Bible says so is a fallacial argument. Feel free however to quote a particular argument, found in the Bible, that appeals to some sense of reason or logic and I’ll consider it with as much respect as anything Einstein or Hitchens has to say. So far I have had nothing like this. C’mon Christians!! You can do better than that. I myself could put forward some valid biblical arguments – I offer an open invitation to reasonable debate.

To those who have ‘personal experiences’ with God    

These are the people who claimed they had ‘heard’ from God personally or had an ‘experience’ somehow involving God. This is probably the most difficult response to respond to. I remember (with a cold chill) the days of being an assistant pastor in a charismatic church in Benoni, times when we (the elders) would get together to discuss something, and in the middle of heated debate the senior pastor would say something like, “God told me we have to do it so let’s get started.” Well, who could argue with that? If God said it, who are we to question it? The result being that anything this particular man wanted, happened. You can’t argue with someone who has God in their corner. I could just as easily say, “I saw a unicorn at the bottom of my garden this morning – prove me wrong!” You know I am wrong because you know there are no unicorns, because if there were unicorns we’d have photos of them, and their discovery would be published in every newspaper in the world with probably a specimen in The Hague for testing and so forth. In this you use reason, so you would roll your eyes and say, “I’m sure you thought you saw a unicorn…” and pat me on the back condescendingly. So my response to you is, “I’m sure you thought you heard God – pity you don’t have any evidence (pat pat). If I were to believe all the ‘personal testimonies’ of people who claim God did something ‘good’ for them I’d also have to believe the suicide bombers of 9/11’s claims that God instructed them in their mission, or all the people who claim to have been abducted by aliens somewhere in the Midwest of the USA. You yourselves use rational thinking in all areas except this! I have, many times, wished that I could walk through my closet and end up in Narnia, but no amount of staring at the closet is going to help me understand the truth of my world. There are coats in the closet. Santa does not exist. God does not exist.

To the condescending self righteous

Ah, my favourite group! I wish there were fish like you in the water the last five times I went unsuccessfully fishing in dams and rivers around South Africa. The damn fish just stare at my bait and never bite. You however, are the most predictable and toothache inducing group of the lot. The people I refer to here are those who don’t bother showing my articles an ounce of respect by responding to the propositions put forward, but instead choose to take the: “you’re sick and in need of help from someone like me” approach. I refer to statements like, “Are you free my friend?” or “…but are you happy?” or “you are clearly speaking out of a place of hurt…” Spare me your noxious, patronizing, dripping, putrid self righteousness and amateur psycho-analysis! I pity you for needing to feel accepted or acceptable in society above truth; and thinking that anyone who doesn’t share your view must be somehow broken, un-whole or lost. Read my article on being a Salmon vs. a Sheep. Let me say this once, and never again: I am free! I am happy! I am fulfilled! I am not lonely! I am all these things more than I have ever been and that is precisely why I share my life with the world online. I’d gladly accept loneliness and suffering over oppression and mysticism any day, and if I was unhappy or lonely it would have nothing to do with you anyway – but that is not my fate – so respond to apples with apples and stop throwing lemons at me.

To the fence sitters

In some ways, this group irks me the most. These are the people who respond with paragraphs about how they believe in everything and nothing at all. My article is as much an argument against faith as it is against religion. People who say, “I agree with you that religion is wrong, but I still believe that a god or gods or some spiritual entity exists…” are religious, plain and simple. To sit on the fence is to avoid confrontation with society without having to conform particularly. It is at best a spineless agnosticism and at worst, closet atheism. Get out of the closet! You either believe, which requires the suppression of your reasoning; or you reason, and therefore have no need of faith. I don’t have to sit and philosophically ponder the weight, colour, acidity or molecular structure of an apple because the knowledge is already revealed through scientific means. All I need do is pick up a few books on the matter and the evidence presented simply removes any need for faith, or confusion about the apple. Sure, there are things we’re only beginning to understand in the realms of sub-atomic and quantum physics, but the key word is ‘understand’ – we’re not seeking to ‘believe’, we’re seeking to understand! We KNOW how the Earth was formed – we don’t need to BELIEVE some ancient myth about 7 days, or turtles holding up a flat earth etc. I have to confess that in my journey (like a pendulum swing) from belief to reasoning, I took a short stop at universalism and agnosticism, but only a short one – my mind could never be satisfied with believing in belief, or believing that anything was ‘unknowable’. Join me on the other side – it’s incredibly liberating!

To those who engaged in enlightened conversation!

You were a breath of fresh air!! These were the Christians, Muslims and Atheists who responded to my propositions with reasonable counter arguments – who did not ‘hide’ behind “God exists and that’s all there is to it” – but instead, spent a little time thinking about their position and responding with facts and sound reasoning, with respect for the subject. Although our views may be a universe apart, I welcome your comments and hope to engage with many more of you out there in the virtual universe.

If there was a Heaven, this would be on the menu! I started making chili sauce several years ago while pastoring an Indian church in Bakerton, Springs (East Rand). Having already developed a great love for all things curried, I wanted to make a fragrant, curried chili sauce to go on anything! Through trial and error I came up with this recipe, which changes slightly from batch to batch depending on the chilies I use and the curry spices I have on hand etc. You can put this stuff on anything at all from chicken casseroles and pasta to boerewors rolls or simply using it as a relish to dip fresh bread into.

You will need:

• A bag of fresh chillies
• A large bottle of white vinegar
• About 5 tablespoons of really good curry masala
• About 6 tomatoes
• About 5 onions
• Salt, pepper and any other seasoning you think might add to the flavor

Mulsh all the vegetables in a blender and throw them in a pot. Add at least two cups of vinegar and the curry and spices and bring the whole lot to the boil. Remove from heat and fill a few airtight jars with the mixture while still warm, then leave to cool. Keep in the refrigerator once cooled.

Play around with the ratios for different flavours. Add more vinegar for a thinner consistency. Add soy or Worcester sauce for a darker colour and improved flavor.

Alternatively, if you just want to buy a bottle for R30 send me a line – it makes a great Christmas gift.

This article has been a long time in coming and is the result of many hours of internal struggle, research, comparison and discussion. Four years ago I physically left the church – about four years before that I was already putting aside faith for reason. During these last four years I have tried not to categorize my religious views with any labels, partly because I needed to assimilate the full depth of understanding what terms like ‘Atheist’ actually meant and partly because I still carried an aversion, implanted by the system, to many of these labels – after all, I had always thought that being an Atheist was synonymous with being allied with Satan (as do most religious folk) – and when you’ve been led to believe your whole life that something is “bad” it’s pretty hard to throw off that conviction. Until now I’ve stuck with the safe categorization of “Agnostic” (someone who doesn’t believe there is enough evidence to prove the existence of God), and I took the safe and simple approach of, “you worry about your life and I’ll worry about mine”, i.e.: Let’s agree to disagree – or – You go ahead and do your religious thing and leave me in peace. I no longer hold this view. I will now actively oppose religion and am relieved to be able to call myself an Atheist, or Anti-Theist. I will discuss why this approach is necessary after I give a better understanding of a few terms and concepts that will help readers digest what I am saying.

Let’s start with defining the terms Theist, Atheist, Agnostic and Faith.

• A Theist is someone who believes in a god or gods, i.e. God exists in reality.
• An Atheist is someone who does not believe that a god or gods exists, i.e. God is not real and does not exist.
• An Agnostic is someone who thinks that God cannot be proven or that we cannot know God, i.e. there is no evidence for God.
• Faith is the act of believing without any requirement for evidence or proof. With evidence or proof there is no need for Faith because we have Knowledge – so Faith can be substituted for Knowledge in the absence of evidence.

It is not uncommon for people to be Agnostic-Theists, i.e. someone who doesn’t really claim to be able to prove God but believes in God anyway for reasons other than evidence and faith. It also makes sense that you could be an Agnostic-Atheist, i.e. someone who does not believe in God because of the lack of evidence. In all my travels and dealings with Christians and other religious people around the world I have noticed two main distinctions; I will call them True-Theists (Believers) and Agnostic-Theists (Religious by convenience). My opinion is that the majority (more than half) of all Christians are Agnostic-Theists rather than True-Theists. These are people who attend church and adhere to all the trappings of their religion because of the personal benefits like: a sense of belonging; acceptance; acceptability; community support, comfort, friendship, financial aid, status, opportunities etc. – all good attributes of the church, but none of which make it true, or right. These people don’t really believe that all Earthly languages originated from the tower of Babel; or that every species of animal lived in walking distance from Noah’s house; or that Daniel really stayed overnight in a pit of wild, untamed and hungry Lions and survived – in fact they don’t really think much about God at all; they simply choose to adopt the mantle of Christian because it’s working for them, and being anything else would damage their reputations, relationships and other aspects of their lives. If you’re one of these people, this article is for you! On the upside you already think rationally and suspect that everything you stand for is based on mythology and superstition – on the downside you think that all the good stuff about church adds enormous value to your life and is irreplaceable – hopefully I can convince you otherwise.

To the other group, the True-Theists, there is little I can do to change your minds, mainly because you’re not using your minds. No amount of evidence or science or history will convince you that your belief is misplaced. You believe through sheer blind faith, (faith is blind by definition), that: there is an invisible being in a place called Heaven; which we can’t see or find until we die; who has declared you sinful from birth; and will throw you into hell if you don’t acknowledge him unquestioningly; and yet who loves you “unconditionally”; and who is somehow influenced by your particular choice of words in prayer; who allows confusion and faithlessness and hunger and disaster on the Earth for reasons you don’t fully understand; and who cares who you have sex with and how; and who judges your sin even in your mind and while you sleep; and “came to earth” on an arbitrary day in history to a dry Roman province via a virgin, so that in dying, somehow getting to heaven would be easier than it was before… hmmm.

I was a believer for many years – passionate about my Faith, as I am passionate about everything I do. I remember ridiculing Jehovah’s Witnesses for being closed minded and not open to rational conversation – armed with their nonsensical “proofs” from their nonsensical “Bible”. I now understand that I was exactly the same! Think about it; if I were to ask the average believer what would convince them that God does not exist, they would say, “Nothing! I’ll never stop believing.” and yet they have the cheek to call Atheists stubborn and closed-minded, when in fact most Atheists could easily give a list of things that would make them convert on the spot if they were to occur. I’ll write another article on this point. I can only hope you come to your senses before you’ve wasted your whole life avoiding the freedom of truth and causing further carnage in the world… which brings me to the crux of this article – why religion should be opposed.

I’m speaking again to those that feel, “Why do Atheists get so hung up about people’s religious choices? Just live and let live. Some well meaning person who attends church every Sunday and gives to the poor isn’t hurting anyone, so let them follow their religion of choice!” This is a view I have shared for some time but I have come to realize that it is naïve and irresponsible to think this way. Religious belief on a micro scale (if it were confined to a handful of people on a deserted Island) may not have any great negative impact on the world other than the personal self deception involved, but we don’t all live on our own island – each individual believer supports a system of control and manipulation which, on a macro scale, becomes an extremely negative force in the World. Let’s look at a few simple examples:

A kind-hearted and conscientious Muslim man goes to Mosque and says his prayers as required. He never hurts anyone and always gives to the poor and supports his local Islamic initiatives, believing that he is pleasing God in doing so. Him and millions of others feed energy and finances into a system which advocates violence and the killing of infidels in its core scriptures; and although they are not personally involved in such matters and prefer to interpret their scriptures more figuratively; their church is involved in a holy war against Christians which results in flying jet planes into civilian buildings in New York killing thousands. Is our man innocent in this? Can he claim that he had nothing to do with it? All this for a myth of a myth that doesn’t exist.

A devout German Christian believes in a loving god in heaven and wants to please him. He has come to understand that to please god you have to please your leaders in Christ. He loves his God and his country and is willing to defend both from any unbeliever that would dare challenge the status quo. The new leader of his country, Adolf Hitler, a man of passion and faith has inspired him to join the army to do just that. He comes to realize that Germany is a holy nation surrounded by unclean nations that must be brought into the fold and tamed. He says goodbye to his wife and kids who he loves dearly to go and do his duty for God and country in the concentration camps where they are making sure that the evil influence of Jews and other unclean races is controlled and quelled. He knows that he will be rewarded for his loyalty in the afterlife if not in this life. He is a “good” man. The kind of “good” man you see in churches everywhere.

Religions on a macro scale (which are the accumulation of millions of individuals believing), have been responsible for:

• Countless wars, including the Muslim/Christian Crusades; the Catholic/Protestant wars of Ireland, the U.K., France, Sweden and Poland; the Taiping rebellion in China; Islamic violence in the name of Jihad; the Muslim/Hindu wars of India; the Buddhist/Tamil war in Sri Lanka; the countless wars between the Jews and everyone else; and the list goes on ad nauseum.
• Religious genocide in Europe (Jews), Rwanda, Bosnia, Iraq, U.S.S.R and many other places.
• The repression of women everywhere.
• Resisting (often violently) scientific progress, as well as the persecution of great thinkers for thousands of years.
• Witch hunts and inquisitions resulting in the torture and deaths of thousands of innocent people in Europe.
• The dilution of quality education in schools everywhere to make space for meaningless religious activities that promote mysticism and superstition instead of enlightenment and human solidarity.
• Human sacrifice, slavery and mutilation such as female circumcisions in initiation ceremonies.
• The distortion of historical facts and our place in the universe.

… to name a few!

So you still think religions are good for the world? Or maybe you think that your happy clappy Christian church feeds the poor and teaches people how to be good citizens, so you have nothing to do with the above list? Well here’s a news break – if all that carnage above didn’t exist, neither would your church; and if all your churches didn’t exist, neither would the carnage on the list. Christopher Hitchens is right when he says, “Religion poisons everything”. It’s time for humanity to wake up, throw off the ancient myths of our infancy and grow into the evolved, awake and conscious species that we can be. If we direct the energy and resources that we currently use to maintain our meaningless religious structures and use them for science and progress we could be travelling to the stars in our lifetime. Every good thing you’re doing in your churches in the name of “God” can be done without needing to believe in nonsense at the same time. “But what about fellowship and belonging” you ask? Well join a gym; a golf club; a neighborhood board game group… whatever – there are a million ways to make friends with people who share interests in the real world instead of a shared belief in an invisible friend in the sky.

I look forward to your comments and abuse.

An ATKV resort for those who might not know is a holiday, caravan, camping venue run by the Afrikaanse Taal en Kultuur Vereniging, and for those who need further translation that is the Afrikaans Language and Culture Association. I recently took my three kids on a 5 day camping trip to one of these resorts in the Limpopo province of South Africa. This was not my first time at an ATKV and every time I visit one I’m always very impressed, and at the same time amazed, and entertained, and educated in some of the finer points of one of South Africa’s incredible cultures. So let me explain.

On arriving, the first thing you notice about the place is that it is efficiently and professionally run by a crew of well groomed white Afrikaans females who are all exceptionally polite, and white, and Afrikaans. After receiving my elaborate gate pass which was not far off my Facebook profile I meandered my way down the scenic drive towards the camping sites, past the golf course which seemed to be kept well trimmed by a random herd of Zebra which casually strolled among the competing golf-foursomes who were evidently mostly a father with three sons hacking their way around the course (more than I can achieve by the way).

As we drove onto our clearly marked site among a throng of other campers and caravaners, six black (well actually chocolate brown) attendants clad in reflective bibs surrounded the car. Coming from Jo’burg I thought we were either being hijacked or attacked by a bunch of overeager car guards – I was wrong on both accounts. The attendants promptly opened our trailer and proceeded to erect our two large tents and canopy in about five minutes – a job that would have taken me and the kids two hours – so I handed them R40 not knowing quite what was appropriate and they disappeared into the resort to assist elsewhere. So, having budgeted the remainder of the day for setting up camp we were now free to do something else and decided to try out the pools. We all got into swimming costumes and walked up the central road past friendly campers who without fail would call out “Middag!” which translates to “Middleoftheday!” or more meaningfully “Good Afternoon!” My very English kids quickly realized that their ‘C’ grades in Afrikaans this year at school counted for nothing here and kept asking, “What language are they speaking dad?” and, “What are they saying?” and, “Where are all the English people?”

And it wasn’t just the language that was unfamiliar, it was everything! The way they dressed, the music they listened to, the way they interacted and the way they ate and drank. One thing Afrikaaners do really well, in fact better than anyone else in the world, is braai (barbeque) – the Americans and Australians have nothing on these guys! Around the pool, at the tents, at any time of the day or night, you could find any number of these folk standing around a fire and cooking perfect pork chops, chicken drumsticks and miles and miles of boerewors. Many of the young men liked to remain topless at all times, flaunting six-packs (or as Robyn observed, occasionally eight-packs or just one…pack) – the middle aged men wearing what seems to be the eternal fashion of the two-tone khaki farmer shirt. Another never dying love of the Afrikaaner it would seem is Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” which could be heard being played somewhere on camp at almost any time.

Another phenomenon of Afrikaans camping culture is how much stuff they bring. My camping style is minimalistic and rustic – just pitch a tent in the bush somewhere and survive off the land, possibly my Boy Scout training coming out. This is NOT how Afrikaaners camp! At least half the caravans and even some of the tent sites had portable satellite dishes – heaven forbid someone miss 7nde Laan or the latest rugby fixture. Gadgets and appliances ranged from large water coolers and hectic sound systems to microwave ovens and electric bug zappers which turn innocent insects into molecular powder by a zillion volt lightning bolt… or something of that nature. These people just move their home into the country for a few weeks – maybe a throwback to the days of the ‘Groot Trek’. One particular tent must have brought R3000 worth of Christmas lights with them which they wrapped all over their caravan, tent, car and the nearest tree and which flashed all night like a beacon in the dark with a sign that said “Santa stops here”.

The most memorable part of camping among the Afrikaaners however is not their strange tastes in clothing, food or music, but their community spirit and generous neighborliness. They are always smiling and conversational and a night around the braai will have you in stitches laughing at their dry, tactile and descriptive stories and jokes. What continually blows me away is how eight Afrikaaners will all switch to English (of a sort) for the sake of one Englishman who can’t speak their language, and they will do it with grace. If you’re thinking of visiting SA or have lived in SA in one of the other thirteen cultures all your life I can heartily suggest visiting an ATKV for a few days of authentic South African culture.

At about age 35 (or thereabouts) you start to see the world differently; you don’t feel any different in your core personality, but you’ve banged your head enough times and been dealt enough crappy cards to start questioning a few things and even start regretting some of the decisions of your youth – in a word you grow up. Ok, so that’s two words… Melancholics!

One of the things that changed for me was that I finally realized I wasn’t Superman. Yes, I used to believe I could jump tall buildings in a single bound, and almost could; or win every argument through sheer force of character, without knowledge; or cure cancer, in Jesus name! Now I’m happy if I can get through a day without taking Voltaren for my back or finding a letter from a creditor in the post box. Things aren’t as simple now as they were at age 18, and although that doesn’t make life any less worth living, it does sometimes make me wish I could go back in time and give myself some advice or at least a klap across the head. So here are some of the things I would tell myself – some of them I worked out early on my own and others… well, I wish I had.

1.    Travel. There is a huge difference between those that have left the caves of their miniscule existence in their home, their suburb, their local McDonalds, and those who haven’t. People who travel develop a balanced world view and a level of tolerance that you don’t find in insular communities.

2.    Get a degree. It really doesn’t matter what degree, just do the three to five years required to get the certificate. This develops the habit for reading and study in your adult years, but most importantly it opens vital career opportunities. On the flip side if you’re well into your twenties or more and don’t have a degree then start one now – it’s never too late.

3.    Learn how to use a computer. I can’t stress this enough. It won’t be long before most of our activities are virtual. You need to enter the working world with I.T. competency – right now that means knowing your way around Microsoft Office and the Internet as a minimum standard.

4.    Turn off the TV. Read my two articles on the matter. ‘Nuff said.

5.    Learn about accounting and tax. Whether you’re going to spontaneously launch your own small business or just keep your personal affairs in order, you’re going to need to know how these things work. Save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache and learn this young!

6.    Think twice about getting married young… or even at all. Sure, society has been promoting this way of life since the beginning of time, but the facts are overwhelming against marital success, especially for those who marry young. I know the religious among us gasp in astonishment at this notion, but let them gasp, and you live your life with your eyes wide open. Love because you want to love, not because you’re looking to find a slave you can control forever, or become a slave to a religious or legal contract. Love, intimacy and commitment have nothing to do with contracts. If you are married, chill – I’m not speaking a death sentence over your relationship, but many of you, if you were honest enough to admit it, would agree that it may not have been the best idea ever.

7.    Have sex. If you have a (consensual) lover or spouse, don’t deny each other; pleasure each other; give each other plenty of orgasms; spend tons of time being naked together; and liberate your sexuality. Society in general and religion in particular make us deny our sexuality, relegating it to embarrassing conversations in private corners; or dingy downtown porn shops; or to the purpose of procreation alone (in the missionary position of course). This is insane! People who don’t have regular sex are usually miserable and uptight. Be safe of course!

8.    Live according to your means. I see thousands of young people living someone else’s dream for their lives, which generally involves buying a house in a suburb; and a luxury car; and a swimming pool; and the latest in technology; and… and… and! If you want to be an artist then you should go ahead and pursue your dream, but understand that it will mean being real about how you live and what you have. At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter if you’re living in a one bedroom flat in the middle of the city if you’re doing what you’re passionate about. You can always swim in someone else’s pool.

9.    Learn another language. The joke goes, “What do you call someone who speaks three languages?” (Trilingual), “Good, and what do you call someone who speaks two languages?” (Bilingual), “Good, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?” (American). One of the most useful things you will ever do is learn another language. It will open your mind and improve your capacity for understanding the world you live.

10.    Don’t always follow the rules. Some rules make sense and following them is wisdom. Some rules make no sense at all and are designed to control you or keep you from inconveniencing someone else at your expense. Some rules have been there for hundreds of years and no one can remember who made them or why we’re still following them. Some rules are worthy and yet at times it is still wisdom to break them for a worthier purpose. Question the rules you live by, ask yourself why they’re there and whether those reasons make sense. The greatest men (and women) in history became great because they broke a rule, not because they were sheep who blindly followed. See my article on being a salmon, not a sheep. There are worse things in life than getting into trouble – living without passion is one of them.

Hmmm… I think this needs another post.

I learned how to do this from an Australian man that travelled the world on a motorbike and sidecar with his wife and daughter. I met him on his way through Benoni and he showed me this simple technique for making delicious and cheap pink candy peanuts.

You will need:

• One cup of peanuts
• ½ cup of sugar
• ½ cup of water
• A small pot

Put everything in the pot. Bring to the boil and then keep it all cooking at medium heat while you stir. The water will continue to reduce until it turns thick and syrupy, at this point be vigilant; you want to continue to stir the mixture until it suddenly goes dry and powdery, and then quickly remove the pot from the heat while you continue to stir. The peanuts will be dry and coated with a rough pink crunchy sugar coating.

Enjoy!

Do yourself a favor and spend a few hours sitting at a busy intersection in a mall or a market, and watch the people pass by. Notice all the trends as they roll past like waves. The hairstyles, the clothing, the stuff people buy and the food people eat. These are the superficial things of course, but look deeper; consider how sheep-like we have all become in so many areas of our lives. I am horrified when I talk to intelligent, educated people who view the world with the same arrogance as the Romans or the Byzantines did, as though there culture or religion somehow makes them superior to all the other “barbarian” people that infest the earth; and yet these same people don’t seem to recognize the fact that they’re just behaving and thinking in the way they were trained to do since birth – just like everyone else. Anyone that voices an opinion contrary to the bleating of the masses is immediately criticized and demonized for their views by people who don’t seem to have any original views of their own. Anyone that chooses an unpopular career, academic, religious, spiritual, sexual or social path is frowned upon by a mass of anemic white sheep, many of which, no doubt, wish that they had the courage to be true to themselves too, if only they had an idea of who they really are in the first place.

I spoke to a shepherd of sheep, or possibly just a really big sheep, some time back and we were talking about what we would do if we had the power to change the world; his response was that he would institute world peace. He said that if everyone just followed the rules and got on with their jobs and families there would be no more war and the world would be a happy place. I’m sure my jaw dropped at the astounding illogic of his argument. I said, “Ok, whose rules would we have to follow?” He said, “All the normal rules and laws of state and Christianity.” I said, “Well why not institute the laws of Iran and Islam? I’m sure they think if everyone just fell in line with their way, the world would be a better place too.” Our conversation went back and forth for some time, but I realized that while someone thinks that their view is ‘morally’ superior and backed by their community, they seldom allow themselves the opportunity to see things from a different perspective – their paradigms are set.

Why are people so terrified of someone who does things differently? Is it because they’re unpredictable? There are those who think, “OK, you’re not part of my system, but tell me which system you are part of so I know which box to put you into.” When people ask me which church I go to and I say “none”, and then they ask if I’m a Christian and I say “no”, and then they ask what religion I am and I say “none”, they seem to take personal offense to it, as though somehow my views on God and religion will contaminate theirs; they look for some psychological problem because of course I must be hurt or in need of fixing if I don’t share their views. To try and convince them that I’m happy and free is an impossible task because their paradigm simply can’t reconcile the information; instead they must change me, they must convince me to return to the flock so that… they can sleep better or something. Sheep just don’t do salmon. I wonder how many Christians would remain Christian if the overwhelming majority of their churches converted to Shinto, or how many Muslims would remain Muslim if all but a handful converted to Christianity… just a thought. Someone recently told me that I have “retreated” into Atheism – I laughed out loud when I read it, firstly because I’m not really an Atheist, but mainly because Atheism is certainly no “retreat” in the third most churched country in the world – Atheism is the wrong end of a firing squad. I admire Atheists in the world of WASPs.

Of course sheepism and salmonism doesn’t apply only to religion, but all aspects of life and world view, although certainly religion influences all aspects of life. It applies to education, choice of career, the way we deal with money, kids, health, technology, cars, homes etc. Please note that being peace-loving and gentle doesn’t make you a sheep by default, nor does being aggressive and contrary make you a salmon. A salmon in the context of this article is someone who has questioned their own views and paradigms; who has crossed the line and engaged with people of other cultures and beliefs with a desire to understand and learn; who has wrestled with the texts of their culture that set out the rules; who has withheld judgment and listened to the enemy; and who has formulated their own opinion with no regard to its acceptability to anyone else. Here are some questions that sheep and salmon ask themselves:

Sheep ask

• Will my pastor agree with me?
• Will my parents agree with me?
• Will my friends agree with me?
• Will I be rejected?
• Will I be humiliated?
• Will I be punished?
• Will I get into trouble?
• Is everyone pleased with me?

Salmon ask

• Is it true?
• Is it real?
• Is it valid?
• Is it important?
• Is it necessary?
• Is it harmful?
• Do I understand it?
• Am I being true to myself?

Are you a Sheep or a Salmon?